Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
In very short I will try to Put my problem pls help.

Phase1.
I got married in 2005. Just next day of my marriage, “My DH GF called me up and said that he promised to marry her. She is very much in contact with all family members of DH and that my DH is impotent”. And all this was true my DH has erectile problem.
When I asked this to my DH, he said that he loves me a lot and he will leave every contact with her and he need my help to get cured. He had consulted the doctor. My father was heart patient with lot of hope and happiness he married us, so it was very difficult to tell him the fact. So I decided to remain silent and as a super woman decided to support my DH with his problem and to get it cured.

Phase2.
My DH always wanted a professional wife, where as I was not very keen. Just after my marriage he left for US saying he will call me back once his tenure will be fixed for long time as for short tenure leaving my career is not good. His parents were also very keen about my job. His mother is very money minded and greedy kind of lady.I stayed alone working but no body came to stay with me. I fighted with my DH a lot to call me but he never called me. From 2005 to 2007 he stayed in US and Canada. For few month he came to India. We consulted toe doctor but all useless. His parent never came to stay with me . I stayed alone.By now my job became important to me as I cud sense there was no future with him.he came back in 2007

Phase3.
In 2008 the younger brother wife got pregnanat. So now there was tremendoud pressure on us from cociety.He was really scared as well as his parents I cud have revealed his report and GF mail about his impotency to everyone, but as my DH behaviour with my family is very good I decided to stand with him in this difficult time. I deicded to have kid through IUI. I removed my hymen surgiccaly. tuchwood I am very healthy and successed in first IUI.we blessed with beautiful son and I decided to spend all my time in bring up my kid, so what if I didn’t get pleasure of having relationship in this single life.

Phase4
Once the kid came my inlaws started coming regulary to our house and staying for long time. My mother in law is very greedy and foolish kind of lady. Now same problem have started and stated in below mentioned discussion forum. Getting posseisve for his son. Not allowing me to cook. I have maid for evryhting but then also she is constanly nagging. I tried to compaling this to my DH and DH gave a slap to me in return. I feel very betrayed. I save his family for defamed. I spoiled my life for him. And what I got in return. My husband told me clearly that he cannot say nething to his mother and I will have to bear them. So there is no relationship between my DH. He is now least concerned about me. He comes late and stay with his mother. I just stay in one room with my kid.
They talk laugh watch TV.

Do my sacrifice and understanding deserves this kind of life.I am shocked with my life.
MS replied. Hi Vidya,

Dont you think its high time and you should be getting your share of love respect etc....
Since your DH turns out to be such a \" pest\" ...and you have anyways lived alone when he was not in India (and coz his parents never bothered to be with you) why cant you do it even now...
As far as your parents are concerned, break this news gently to them..prepare them for this and then take a step...
why suffer just because u are a female?

be bold...put your foot down and DO NOT take any nonsense

Mel replied. Please move on. I know it' s difficult, but your husband seems like a cold, heartless person. Is yours an arranged marriage.

I think you should leave him and get a life of your own. Anyway, you have a career, your parents can take care of your baby.