Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

thanks for ur advice & suggestions. agree with u both that i am taking too much stress.

tho' we have been ttc for the last 3,4 months, we have been married for over 5 yrs now; so theres a lot of direct & indirect pressure from family. some have even openly suggested i try IVF; really annoying when u try to explain it to ppl that all is normal but they dont believe you; we live in a big joint family; and not a single day passes before i hear some suggestion or the other for \";my condition\";. more so when some1 (who got married after us) gives the news that they are expecting soon.

i dont want to sound 'bitchy' but sometimes it gets on ones nerves.

i am trying to take it cool this time; sorry abt the wrong icon; didnt mean to scare u all, but i was in a really sad mood that day. will be more careful when i type my posts next time.

being in this board and reading others' posts and replies really has a 'calming' effect; it puts things in perspective; millions of women go thru' far worse things... i think i shld be more cheerful (and patient) abt the whole thing.

thanks again for ur advice.

wish me good luck :)
krsna
curious replied. Dear Krsna,

Being a woman, I totally understand your view point....I can imagine what you must be going through. This is a major drawback of a joint family system....there are very few in-laws and relatives who can understand their DIL's worries and situation. So its better not to have any expectations from their side....I don't mean to generalize all in-laws in one category, but I have personally seen majority of in-laws become inconsiderate when it comes to their DIL or the baby issue. All they want is a grandkid....they don't even try to understand a woman's concern, her feelings. Remember your relationship with your husband is the most important for you and your baby. People who offer you unasked advise now, will not be around when you actually need them ...anyway....lets not talk about this anymore. It makes many of us sad.

See try to look at the positive side....I guess you are working, so you should feel lucky, that you don't have to stay at home 24/7. I am sure you must be having some good friends, colleagues, brother-sister - spend your time with them. They can offer you comfort and help. Next time when anyone gives you unasked advice- just tell them firmly that you have your own plans and you will give the good news when an appropriate time comes. In short- thanks but no thanks.

I have a few suggestions for you....

1. First of all prepare yourself for pregnancy with lots of positive energy ! Lead a healthy life style, exercise regularly. You know a recent study has proved that having positive thoughts and leading a healthy life style have a siginificant effect on your immune system and it may make conception easier.

2. Remember that you are doing your best to have a baby, so even if you fail for a few cycles, don't get disheartened. God has his own plans ..he will bless you when the right time comes. All of us can only try and leave the rest to him.

3.Believe in yourself- remind yourself that you can easily deal with any problem or situation. Try to look at your problems constructively. Make an effort to generate positive thoughts and feelings.

4.Have fun...go out with your husband, have a candle light dinner, buy new clothes, adorn yourself, learn to laugh at yourself. Believe me, it will make you feel so much better and brighter.

5. Aim for other things in life- Recently I was having a conversation with my hubby on the baby topic....he gave me a very useful suggestion that I should look for some other goals in my life besides having a baby ..something which can make me smile and gives me satisfaction. If possible, you can try the same. Make a list of things which interest you most...try doing them.

Dear...Keep your spirits high. I am sure you will be a proud Mommy soon. Be very calm and cool in the next cycle. I will pray for you.
simba replied. Hi Curious,
I too have been married for 5 years now. Now I am 28 this year... and we feel settled enough to have a kid. I too feel the same pressure. People unnecessarily think we are having problems concieving. We have just been trying for the last 6 months. The good thing is I and my husband live in US .... far away from in laws and relatives. But our so called freinds put enough pressure on us.
Every time we meet, they bring up this topic. You would think they would suportive enough... but no they remind us of the fact that we yet don't have kids.
Anyway don't bother about people around you. Just tune them out. I am trying to do that. Try to relax .....and I hope god will bless you soon.

Take care,
Simba