Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have a simple query related to my husbands thoughts. Mine is a love marriage. Wen our marriage got fixed, he was getting posted in a different city and wanted me to stay in Bangalore with his parents and not accompany him. I dint quite understand his intentions then. Somehow he got some proj in bglore, and he did not leave me alone. After marriage also, wenever he got onsite opportunities, he asked me to stay back and he said he will go alone. Due to which we had arguments and he never went onsite at all. I used to feel bad that I have been a hinderance for his growth. Now he is in a critical position and has to leave to Chennai for 2 mnths, as I am working, I dont have the option to accompany him.We have a kid who is 6mnths, and my in-laws are very fond of him. I told my husband that I will spend a few days in my parents house, and then stay a few days in my house with in-laws. He got angry at that, he understands that I feel bad to stay away from him, and that I also get depressed wen he is not there. Still he asked me this question \" Where will you stay if I am no more?\" . I felt very bad. Is it wrong to stay for a few days in parents place wen ur husband is away frm you? Why did he ask that question? Is he more concerned about his parents than me? Please provide some suggestions. I feel so bad, that he is not concerned abt my feelings, but is bothered only abt his parents. Mel replied. I have one word to describe your husband' s behaviour - RIDICULOUS !

I can understand if you were staying separately and then the question arose of which parents to stay with on vacation. Even then, both grandparents need to get the opportunity to spend time with the grand child. But, since you are living with your in-laws, THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN YOU NEED TO GO SPEND A FEW DAYS WITH YOUR PARENTS TOO. They raised you just as much as your ILs raised your husband. You need to tell your husband, that if ' GOd Forbid' he is no more, you will live with your ILs, but you would also visit your parents and stay with them for a few days in 6 months or so. There is nothing wrong with that.

And maybe he feels this way, because you asked him about going there only because he is going away. Maybe you should let him go peacefully once, and when he is back, then you go spend a few days with your folks. Maybe he gets the impression that you don' t want to be alone with his parents... that' s why you want to run away to your parents, since you asked about it when he is going to be away. Convince him calmly that you love your ILs and are happy staying with them, but thought that if you meet your parents and they spend some time with your son, that you would miss him a bit less for a few days.