Relationships  Discussion Forum

I read your reply.. honey. Don't over work yourself. It's not worth it. Coz in the end you will be exhausted, stressed, frustrated and it will make you sick. Tell me, why are you working part time when u have so much to do?
If it's money issue, why not try doing something from home. Maybe tution or some class or interior decoration or something other than having to be somewhere else.
I'm saying this coz well, being a working woman and a housewife, I can totally understand how exhausting just doing these two things can make you. To top it all having a small child is additional stress and work.
You are not superman. And when your husband tells you to be perfect just laugh and say, \";what to do, God only gave me two hands, and a small brain.\"; or \";wow! I wish I was as capable as you!\"; or my favourite one, \";whatever I am honey love, you chose me, so there must be something good about me na.\";
Be very careful to keep the sarcastic tone out of your voice. Just laugh and be jolly about it.
It's important for you to remind yourself constantly, that there's only so much you can do!
And most of all, Shailu, pray! Prayer has got tremendous strength.
Keep your sense of humor & personal identity alive. The best way to do that is keep in touch with old friends. They are the best link to your past and to who you are.
Try to keep yourself happy. Don't always look rushed and harrassed. Think of it this way. If you keep happy, your baby will keep happy too. Coz u know better than me, that a mom's moods can affect the baby.
Just keep going. All the best!
God bless you.
Love,
Sunshine shailu replied. I am doing part time job from home itself that is only for saving my career as it is.
Because after marriage, I had to discontinue PG as we came USA(I didnt want him to come alone here).I was very studious and dont want to loose my spirit .SO found some good job and it's against my hubby's wish .He want me to take care of home well and not to spare time in money-making(he strongly believes that is his duty to make money)

SO,Even sterday night we had discussion and I was just talking in a similar way that u r telling me now.(I'm really surprised to see ur words,As I too say him same since 1 year) .He said \";I know u r not capable of doing only a thing.that is y I'm asking u to do house keeping just perfect\"; .
So I decided totake off from job for some years though he didnt exactly told me to do.
I'm doing job because it boosted my confidence level. (we dont have fin problems,touch wood)And even he feels proud of me for getting good name in career and he boasts with his parents repeatedly 'bout me (though he dont directly appreciate me,I saw him boaasting 'bout me many times with his family)
So ,Finally I want to save my existence as a person ,which is only possible thru this job.
But Iam taking some time OFF to show him ,how I can manage things more perfect.Thing is he 'll never be satisfied ,dear!
Now that I have baby and job.But even in earlier days ,he used to show dissatisfaction often.Not that he dont love me.
But he has some virtual super woman in his ideas.He feel \";WOMAN SHOULD BE PERFECT\";.
He defines somethings which r just impossible for us.

I tell him and show him how best I'm in our circle.But still he doesnt want me to compare with those trash ladies(thank god,At least with the love he has for me, he doesnt think me as trash :) )

This is the case, dear!
One question, dear! does ur hubby stop nagging u for things now? or still showing dissatisfaction?

I want him to stop thinking 'bout that virtual super woman.Know what,He feels I shd touch hotvessel but it shdn't burn my hands, because woman is capable of forgetting or ignoring pain or burns .And so , if I say \";OUCH\"; ,he says...\";know,fire can not harm a woman \";.I dont know how he improved such idealogy.Probably he feel his mom is super woman,I cud see from his words...