Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi everybody,i have a problem with a friend.I am married but a homemaker.I am abroad for the last 2 yrs and becoase of my husband's job we keep moving from one place to another.
my problem is that ,i tend to make the wrong kind of friends since my childhood days.i'm also not a very confident person,especially with friends.
This friend i met is my husbands colleagues wife.We regularly have to go for office parties and thats how i met these friends.
this friend isalso a homemaker and she and her husband(sometimes not b4 in the beginning,we are meeting them after a yr) always puts us down.They are kind of rich,i don't care about that,but somehow they always treat us shabbily.
Like they keep an account of how much they spend and amongst friends when we treat we also pay,sometimes other friends also pay so there is an understanding and none of us ask for the half and all that kind.These people when we spend they royally take advtg of us,but when they spend they expect us to pay it back even if it few cents.
Last month we had to come to the location for just 3 months where they are put up,and they called us for dinner on the first day,after that for my b'day they wanted a treat and so we called them ,but (looks like they wanted to go in a hotel) and the prev day of the dinner just as they were entering their car at 6:00 in the evening(they made plans with other friends to go elsewhere) they said they can't make it.We were going out to shop for the dinner next day.
The most imp thing is they are aware for 3 months we will be put up in a hotel and the facilities are not like an apartment,they also know that we are financially in a tight spot right now as we also have to pay our house rent in our location and in U.S if both the couple are not working its really a financial headache(we came up on our own,my hubby i only supported him morally ,always unlucky with the job front myself,that is another sob story)
These people they went with their friends and they ring us up and ask us directly to serve them dinner.
We also had weekend plans.
They want exactly what they have done or spent they want it back in the same way.
Then as soon as we had come here to this location,the first weekend they wanted to visit their cousin who is put up in the place that we stay its actually 5 hr drive (ok we are now in Chicago,and we act stay in St.Louis and these people are put up in st.Louis)They called us for a drive back to st.louis.My hubby was already tired (Their plan was that we have our house in st.louis so it would be like they don't have to waste their money and stay in a hotel and they cud stay with us,lunch,dinner free.What they told us was we cud check on our house and check our mail box so it will be for us also a trip to our home)My husband know this nature of these people b'coz they have done this b4.
When I call them for dinner,she is like 'oh how you have prepared this ,it should not taste like this,i don't know i prepare it the other way and my friends like it like that'.actually amongst my friends and my hubby's circle of friends I am known to cook well.
Or 'see you are all dressed up an all why???'
This if i put a bindi,i am not a make up person .
Why you have dressed like this ,why did you do your hair in apony tail,you look very old.you should leave your hair.
I don't know she makes fun of everything not only in person but also publicly sometimes,and avoiding them is also out of the question.
I can't even get angry at her,though in one occasion her husband yelled at me once publicly .i felt very bad and some other friend of mine who is a little bold told him to relax and take a chill pill.During this time my hubby was outside and didn't hear this.
Please help me deal with these people.
i know its very long ,but plz bear with me.I just don't like making a scene and i hate fights and arguments thats why i keep quiet ,though my friends(some good ones) and my have told me to answer them back i'm unable to so much that I hate myself for that and keep thinking how they insulted me and all.Please friends help me. silver replied. Chill up!

Immediately u stop communications with her.She is not family member nor a close friend to you.Then y r u continuing relation with them?When her hubby yelled at u.u shd have stopped relation with them.

Ok, u couldnt do that.But from now on wards start taking care of urself and ur hubby not ur waste fridns when they dont deserve ur concern.
Stop communicating with them.They can know it thru ur expressions.Though u can t do it.Try to be carenot woman with them.No need to care for their ideas and concerns.
Remain quite when they talk and from now on wards ,if she comes and comments you for ur hair or cooking...simply say \";Sorry, I dont like in that way.and I like to be like what I'm now.and my hubby does like this.Then I'm not gonna change it now\"; If not tell atleast...\";oh,I know that recipe too.But somehow my hubby doesnt like and vomits if u say in front of him .So we both like this one.Dont u like it? ok, try that another curry or so..\";

Uy shd u communicate to her ,after all.Behave like neglecting her then immediately they'll notice difference in u and set right if they want to continue with u.Or leave u if they dont want to change themselves.

When u r not going to be for a life time with them,If they cause mental tension,It's always better to stop communication with them than trying to change them.It's ur life and u shd live ur life with confidence.

Whats important in ur life is to maintain relations with ur parents and hubby parents and both of ur loving sibblings.If u have loving friends that behave according to u,It's worth thinking 'bout them.But dont waste ur precious time while thinking of those stupids. Ok,take care dear!

It's nice to be nice but when they r causing headaches,It's always better to break communication.IT's not that harm that being with them and tolerating them causes.

Ok dear!thanks for listening,Would like to know soon that u r not talking to them. pratima replied. they are put up in chicago and not st.louis,they wanted to go to st.louis to visit their cousin(bcoz my this friend had gone to india and brought some stuff which she had got for her cousin and they had parcelled and sent it thru dhl)and it costed my friend about 8 ,and they were talking in front of us that \";when we go back we want it back and have to collect ot from them somehow\";.But they want everything free of cost.Nobody should ask them one's own money back.and b;coz we did not go with them ,they were a little angry.and when they came back to chicago they called us in their way back home and asked us that they wanted to come for dinner.on both these occasions my husband refused,coz he is also a little pissed with their behaviour.I had also been ill for two weeks and they still weren't concerned about that they just wanted to get their dinner back.
They also told us that they would like to have a treat in a hotel.
My hubby kept quiet with me for sometime,he usually does not stand such nonsense,but also both of us believe that you can't simply call of a relation and run away from it every time.But its getting really a pain.PLLLLLZZZ HELP.