Relationships  Discussion Forum

My problem is written in the previous posts.Iam very depressed.Is there anyone who can give solution to my problem.Moving away from the problematic people is not possible in my case because my DH is not ready to.Any way how I can tackle cunning people loke my MIL,BIL and SIL.If I dont talk to them they still drag me into futile arguments please help XYZ replied. Hi Sad,
I m very happy with saheli message,
dear believe me try ur best 2 enjoy ur life with ur kid don' t bother wat ppl or ur hubby say, if u feel u have 2 urgue with them take ur kid n go for a walk, go for weekend with friends, I had a miserable with a drunkard n dominating IL suffered 4 many yrs, but at the same enjoyed life with my kids
not bothering as wat IL say. Saheli replied. 1- Try and do a part time job. If MIL says she is not a servant ... let her say. Ignore it. Get your hubby agree that a part time job will help u in multiple ways. This job, accor to me, will gv u the deserved break from the routine env.

2- It takes two to clap. If you say \" arguments\" , you are involved too. Make a rule for urself ... for eg ... u ll stop commenting after your 2nd or 3rd comment in an argument .. and then go absolutely silent. Believe me, silence does not and will not mean u hv lost, or that u agree to them.
Silence will infact pose u as a more mature person in the group.
And seeing u being non-responsive, they too will gradually cool down.

3- kids and bullying. Get your kid involved in activities. Does he hv too much free time? Make him join some class to reduce interaction with bullying kids. Also, check urself ... if u r getting urself too much involved in child' s play. Some arguments, bullying will be there in a kids group. Teach ur kid how to deal with bullying (there must be article on this site abt it).

4- most imp. I feel u r stuck in the routine env. You need one break ... one event that you will do and enjoy. For example, getting a great friend. Or, u land up in some function and u really enjoy the party.
One such break of happiness will give u the taste of happiness and the confidence that u r lacking.
Once u achieve it, u ll know how it helps, and u ll go after it looking more for it and eventually ignore the rubbish prblems at home.
This one small victory is something that YOU will have to attempt because a great friend is not coming to u looking for u ... a party is not being organized for u ...
You will hv to hope and dare and start enjoying little things in life.

I also feel u take to heart things too much. These taunts and comments are common. Dragging ppl into args is also common. It really hurts ... no doubt.
But one needs to work hard to overcome and be a stone ... so hard that such comments dont affect u. Trust me, one u become a stone like that, u ll be happier :-)
Imagine ur MIL saying i m not ur sevant ... and u feeling nothing abt it!
(alright .. please dont disrespect or answer back to elders if u become a stone!)

So .... use ur time more productively .... involve ur kid in same .. whn u r at home and doing housechores, keep ur ears and mouth closed .... do your share of duties so that if anyone points out, u can go to hbby and say \" i do the cooking and never argue\" ......
.....dont take things to heart .... STOP pondering over the taunts they say ... (promise me abt this! ... your intelligent brain is not made to waste on these thoughts .... rather, use that time in, for ex - reading articles on this site) ... and find ur happiness urself. Start with a little activity that u like and u enjoy.

Do it and come back here and tell me how it was. Then we will see how we can get u into enjoying life more. okay? :-)

Cheer up sweeteart ... life is not all that bad!