Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

Recently i had a problem with my in laws for the first time in my 1.6 year of marraige. It was me who used to compromise for everything from the day of marraige. My husband is really a gem of the person, he loves me and cares me a lot. In laws were also good to me. But when i went on maternity to my mom' s house, they got insecured that i am taking of their son, because he used to come to see me and my son alternative days. The problem what happend last week was, we had a gruhapravesham for our new house, and believe me its a hardcore cash of me and my husband, so we usually do pooja, for that they said they are going to sit for pooja, but this time i could not compromise, i said to my husband that its hardcore cash of us, so we will do the pooja and anyhow we are going to stay in this house. but my husband could not say no to them as well as for me also, but he suggested when they are doing the pooja, we will sit next to them,so it solves the matter. but on the day of pooja, when i sat next to them, my father in law got up from the pooja and he started screaming on me and my mother, my husband kept quiet because the guests had come. I felt very bad, just to do the pooja, i got scremaing from him, and my mom without no reason of hers, even she got scoldings from him.

I am really feeling bad, they made my life miserable that day, by spending so much, at the end of the day i could not be happy on that day. I donnon how far i am rite, when they were sitting for pooja, i made it clear that its my house and i have to sit for pooja. and i said that its my house. was it a mistake to say that its my house. Please reply.

SK replied. Hi Lakshmi,

I can understand your positin and I can sya that you are not wrong but as you mentioned that your FIL wasn' t happy when you sat for the puja , this clearly indicates that your FIL wont let you own the house.I do not think that his thinking really matters , what matters is that you stay like the lady of the house.You have not mentioned in your post if your in-laws would be staying with you.If they are staying in with you in your new home , don not pay extra attention to them or to their thoughts.You do up the home as you want,decorate it on your own way - like you always wanted.Make it very clear with your actions that you are the lady of the boss.Buy all the stuffs/furniture that you want , cook what you want to eat.What I mean is play smart.and above all - put a name plate of your & your husband' s name.However,if they are not staying with you - then your problem is already solved.But above all- win the confidence of your husband - he should not feel bad about your actions.take him into confidence before you do something.Above all congrates for your new home and let me know how it goes.