Hi everyone,
Is there anyone who just wants husband in the birthing room? My friend went thru labour for 30 hours was very difficult to ask MIL to be out that long..its diff. for both to wait for that long period..i will def. not be comfortable with MIL in the room, but know she is very open and caring person...just hoping she takes it in the right sense if i do have a long labour and still ask her to be outside...its embarrassing..am very close to her but don't think am comfortable in the del room with her..moms get worried if they have to wait for too long..and here everyone is allowed inside. I hope i find a right way to explain to her when its time.
Anyone allowing others in besides husband? just wondering if anyone else in same dilemma of being polite and trying to keep ourselves concentrated on delivery than worrying who is in and out of the room..i know husband will stand guard, but hoping it doesn't hurt her feelings..
now just hoping i convey it so she understands..any tips?
Radhika





j'sri replied. hello guys,
i have decided just to have my husband with me at the time of delivery.well my mom may feel uncomfortable staying with my husband in the labour room.so for now its just going to be my husband.

j'sri Manisha replied. Hi Radhika

My husband also raised the same topic just the day before. I suggested to get the PIL to hospital only after baby is born. It'll surely be very difficult for her to stay in waiting room. The hospital is just a mile away from our place, so it won't be difficult for my husband to get her there any time she wants. Then other thing we'll be able to have home made food if she is at home, and FIL will also not be alone at home.
This is all what we are thinking, let's see what happens when the time comes.

Manisha

Ritu replied. Hi Radhika ,
It will be really embarassing to have MIL inside the labour room . I think I will insist on having my husband inside only . Wouldnt it be more convinient for realives to be brought to hospital after the baby is born rather than ask them to wait for long hours in the waiting room ???
Best wishes,
Ritu Radhika replied. Thanks for the replies..I will talk to her definitely..and hoping will understand.
why the worry..is due to this exp of my friend's was a diff case, MIL came from a family where all female members helped in home delivery, for her this was natural and nothing to be embarrassed, breastfeeding too, for my friend, not so..
For me, i don't think will be so much of a prob. but i def wouldn't want her to be outside in the hallway if it goes for long hours when there is an extra bed given to people in the room. right..
breastfeeding , frankly i think i may have to get over my embarrassment because it will be a daily/ often affair.She had already started tips on feeding for past one month and she does take more care because my mom is not there..so its diff. to explain when someone is being kind and considerate and going out of her way to help.
Since many of u guys have inlaws coming in, was just wondering if i am being unfair..and unnecessarily embarrassed ..anyone thot of breast feeding with their parents/inlaws around?? FIL its easy to get out, MIL/mom will be free and willing to help don't u think so?
guess these are just thots crossing mind since we are preparing now for her visit and comfort..maybe when time coms all will get sorted out and hope she doesn't feel hurt or left out, i do owe a lot to her she has been a wonderful help during my parents passing away and for my sister.
Guess it can be guilt after all the excitement of her coming over and then such a thot occurs and think thats awkward..:). easier to tell moms than MIL. i am just thinking too much and troubling u guys too..guess should just sit back and relax, have fun with her as i always had..
Radhika Ritu from nov. board replied. Hi,

I think if u tell her u will be really embarrassed if she is around and feel very uncomfortable and she will understand/ and u can tell her that u would have not allowed ur mom either .Plus in India usually there isn't anyone in the labour room so it is not something she would be expecting anyhow..If u tell her that u don't want her to be tired as the main reason , she might then feel more obligated to be in that room with you and help you out..and then u might find it difficult to tell her that u find it uncomfortable as well..

If the labour goes for many hours, she can always come in once every few hours and meet to you for 5 minutes and that won't bother u much..and u never know u may later want her more than ur husband..

take care and all the best - Ritu Nick replied. Hi Radhika
I don't have much experience in this matter but I feel that best is to talk to her openly.Tell her that she needs rest and wait outside as Manvi said.
And u can ask ur friends for suggestion. Manvi replied. I didn't give it so much thought as yet.But don't you think mil herself may not be comfortable witnessing labour with her son next to her?
You stay cool see until the nth moment while you go thru' contractions having an elder may be reassuring.Towards your active stage both you&your hub can ask her to take rest&wait outside,iam sure it should be ok.Gluck!Actually I personally don't know how everyone handles with husband&parents or in laws.You have friends who delivered right what did they do?