Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi all!
i had posted here few days back. i again need some suggestions urgently. the situation here is going out of control. now my both SILs are staying in our house only. even their shameless husbands come here only food. they have all properly brainwashed my MIL. my FIL is a gem of a person. but he has no control over anybody. now if i come out of the room all of them either indirectly shout at me or insult me or taunt me. if i stay inside my room, even then they shout at me. my MIL has now started shouting at me in a very very rude manner in front of everybody. rest of them just sit and smile and watch the show. i cant answer them back anything because i alone am against 6 mean people.
my hubby just doesnt know how to manage all this. they have brainwashed even him. he is totally frustrated. we have a lot of financial problems right now. even then all the days earnings go to my MIL. still they all taunt him that he doesnt work hard. if i complain to him anything he just loses control and comes to hit me. he has even hit me a lot of times in front of others. at the end of the day i just forgive him because i understand his problems.
nobody can get a better DIL or a better wife. but i cant manage all these anymore. please please tell me what to do. Namita replied. i dnt undrstnd any solution as ur hubby is not with u ....bt never take hitting part so lightly ... i read ur earlier msg., so u ignore their taunts (which actually hurts) ... wht more u can do?

Start working, ask ur parents to keep ur child with them and leave ur husabdn if he is not undrstnding ur situation

atleast u vl live a peaceful life later Dd replied. hi,

Try to be brave & follow what ritika is suggesting.
about hitting part. do not accept it. if u can' t appose it at the time just walk out from there. go out with your baby for a walk if it is a day time or if night time just go in to your room & start playing with your baby. As u have mentioned earlier that your husband loves your baby, after looking st the baby he will cool down & realise his mistake. Make him undestand when he is in good mood that this envirnment is not good for growing baby. Either he will have to do something to make situation bette at home for baby' s sake or get a small place nearby your house & u 3 can move there.Once u r out of there u will have apiece of mind & extra time to concentrate on your study/career.

Mean while pit your baby for few hours in a play centre & u go to nearby library or park & start preparing for your exams. or just read some books which intrests u. it will relax your mind & u will be able to handle situation better. Ritika replied. Hi nnn,

Physical abuse is never ok. No matter what you want to tell yourself. I' m amazed at yr eagerness in excusing your husband' s inexcusable behavior as just an outlet for his many troubles!

The more you feel like a martyr or a victim, the more everybody will treat you like that.

I went back to read yr earlier post...where you said that you had gotten married when you were in yr final year graduation. I am angry with your parents more than with you right now. Because they as adults and having more experience of this world should have had the foresight to see that it is so important for girls to be properly educated and if need be to earn their own living.

Anyways, if you have any courage left, then tell your husband (when ever he is in a nice mood) that you have thought about what you want to do in yr life..and that you would like to complete yr graduation. For that you are thinking of going to yr parents place because you will find it easier to give exams there.

Focus ONLY on yourself, your child and your husband when talking to him. Don' t deviate from it - by complaining abt your MIL or SILs or anybody else. That way you' ll get upset and lose track of what yr objective is.

You cannot change yr in-laws or their behavior. You could however change what you do in your life and how you live it. One way is to just accept whatever happens as fate...or you COULD take a more proactive role in your life to make it better.

You' ve been married less than 2 years. Your husband has been with his parents and sisters for his entire life. Do you think he' ll believe it easily if you keep complaining abt them to him?

Till such time you can go to yr parents place to complete yr graduation (IF you decide to that is), I would suggest that you also talk VERY sweetly to yr in-laws in front of yr husband and talk tough behind his back.

Do yr parents know what all is happening in yr life? Keep them updated on what all is happening. They married you so young and helpless, they better take responsibility in resolving this mess.

And believe me, Ignoring any more will only ruin your mental health. It is not worth it. Srey replied. First of all, Just forget about them. Stay in your room and shut the door. BY the way, How many people are in the Household?

Is your MIL the only person that controls all the money?

Sorry to hear about your situation. I am very sadden to hear that your husband hits you. Yes! and I agree.....You are a good wife. I mean, I don' t think I will stand there and take the heat. But you....You are so brave.

As for financially, Do you work? or is it just your DH? How about keeping some of the salary to yourself. You don' t have to take much, because I know, your family will probably know, am I right? But, take a small sum, enough in case there' s an emergency or something.

Anyway, just hang in there. Please, keep us updated, K?