I am a single mother with 2 small children aged 6 and 3 yrs.My husband died suddenly of brain haemorrage last year.We are getting along in life as best as we can, but all of us are unable to let go of him.I have very good support system but the memories are very painful.Anybody out there who share similar experience?
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I am a single mother with 2 small children aged 6 and 3 yrs.My husband died suddenly of brain haemorrage last year.We are getting along in life as best as we can, but all of us are unable to let go of him.I have very good support system but the memories are very painful.Anybody out there who share similar experience?
carol replied. Hi Vinsom,
I am in the same situation like you. I lost my husband 3 years ago.my daughters were 5years and 4 months old then. We are doing the best too. It is difficult because there are not many young widows who would understand our situation. Keep the faith, and I'm sure the kids keep you busy as is the case with me. between work and home not much time to be depressed...
child of a single parent replied. Dear Vinsom
I wish I had a magic wand to wipe your tears away and make you smile again! This used to be my thought every day since I was 6 when I lost my Dada. I was brought up by my mom and I recall many years spent coming home to her sobbing, hyper anxious and sad. As a child I remained outwardly normal but always hungry to make her happy in some way.
But our story is not sad. Our lives are wonderful and soaring upwards. My mom started work, made friends, started doing social work, teaching kids and used to judge eng. debates, talent shows and plays. Today she heads the Lion's club of her State, she is 53 years old and is a proud single mom. I made it through all right. I have happy memories of my childhood as well.
But yes - mom still misses my dad - even after 22 years of him being in the heavens. But the pain is less now and sometimes we can think of the good times.
Write and reach out to people as you are doing now - be so busy that u cannot think - take care of your looks - feel good about yourself - and enjoy your children.
I will pray for you.
much love
childof..
merlyn replied. Hi,
i just want to know if you have coped with your grief?I lost my husband in an accident in september and I find it difficult to cope with my grief.they say time is a healer...........do you think its true?pls let me know
sneha replied. hii
i can understand your pain .time is definately the best medicine but (please dont get me wrong dear)i know it may be too early may be but have you thought of remarriage .i had a friend who was in the same boat as yiurs ,she had a daughter ,but after her marriage she overcomed her pain .
life is like a book u have to start another chapter after one ends
please dont get me wrong
i am writing to u all this because i really want you to be happy
god bless you
iwill pray for you
Minal replied. Dear freind,
i can understand you.
as a friend,
have faith.
may God bless you in all your endeavours.
with love
minal
hope 2 help replied. grief is not weakness or selfindulgence. It is an individual process that can not be ignored or denied indefinately. It is never pleasant or easy nor is it a rational or logical process. It affects the whole person but we should remember that grief can lead to positive changes in a person. Grief, even when shared, is never fully understandable. When we loose someone we are forced to confront that loss and accept it as a reality. Don't fear your grief Vinsom, it will take time but it is survivable. You do not have to put your memories aside instead you must find a comfortable place to put them in your heart. I pray that life brings you joy forever more.
wish u happiness replied. They say it can take 1-5 years to get over the loss of a significant person in your life. It is always very hard to let go of the ones we love and we are so sad that they have gone that life occasionally seems to have lost its meaning. Memories are really all we have left of loved ones when they pass on, I know they are painful now but in time even the most hurtful will cause you to smile. I lost someone and for a while I didn't see how I could ever move on after that, it is one thing to promise yourself you wont be sad because they died but it is hard to live that way. I always tried to remind myself of all the happy things we shared, tried to always rejoice that they lived. Death isn't really about saying goodbye to the people we love, its just a change in the relationship.
USA Lady replied. Remember and know that everything infront of you and behind you and to the left of you and to to the right of you is fading and will not last. This earth will pass away as you and I will too. Death is decreed for us all as it was for your husband. So make the best of your time on Earth by contemplating on your Creator and worshipping only him, because only our Creator is forever and really only through him can we attain true happiness in this world and in the next. So use this test in life you build your faith. Before you die, open your heart, and read the Koran. In it you will find healing and inspiration to put those memories behind you and move on. Many women have walked the same path you are walking on now and have made it. You can too. I know it is hard. But try. No one's death is meant to be easy. Try not to lose yourself in it. Focus on what you have gained, not what you have lost. Cherish all you have. And think about someone in a worst situation. There is always someone who has less, or has lost more. Worship God, remember God, pray to God to guide you and make you strong. And read the Koran just once in English or whatever language you speak, just once. It is a healing and mercy for mankind.
Raj replied. Hi,
its very hard to forget our beloved but dear u need to take care of your kids also. the only thing i wana suggest u that when ever u remember your love bring a smile on your face and commit him that u will take care of kids better.
2006-09-07
#1
Name: carol Subject: single mother.
Hi Vinsom,
I am in the same situation like you. I lost my husband 3 years ago.my daughters were 5years and 4 months old then. We are doing the best too. It is difficult because there are not many young widows who would understand our situation. Keep the faith, and I'm sure the kids keep you busy as is the case with me. between work and home not much time to be depressed...
2006-07-05
#2
Name: child of a single parent Subject: reach out
Dear Vinsom
I wish I had a magic wand to wipe your tears away and make you smile again! This used to be my thought every day since I was 6 when I lost my Dada. I was brought up by my mom and I recall many years spent coming home to her sobbing, hyper anxious and sad. As a child I remained outwardly normal but always hungry to make her happy in some way.
But our story is not sad. Our lives are wonderful and soaring upwards. My mom started work, made friends, started doing social work, teaching kids and used to judge eng. debates, talent shows and plays. Today she heads the Lion's club of her State, she is 53 years old and is a proud single mom. I made it through all right. I have happy memories of my childhood as well.
But yes - mom still misses my dad - even after 22 years of him being in the heavens. But the pain is less now and sometimes we can think of the good times.
Write and reach out to people as you are doing now - be so busy that u cannot think - take care of your looks - feel good about yourself - and enjoy your children.
I will pray for you.
much love
childof..
2006-07-30
#3
Name: vinita Subject: Thank you
Dear well-wisher, Thankyou for your message and best wishes.It's heartening to know that you have coped so well in life.Ironically, I'm a trained psychotherapist and social worker, myself!Inspite, I have my anxieties and worries about what impact this event would have on my children's lives.On the face of it, my children seem to have come to terms with it now. Time only can say, how well they cope!
2006-04-18
#4
Name: merlyn Subject: have you coped
Hi,
i just want to know if you have coped with your grief?I lost my husband in an accident in september and I find it difficult to cope with my grief.they say time is a healer...........do you think its true?pls let me know
2006-07-30
#5
Name: vinita Subject: Best of luck
Dear Merlyn, I'm very sorry about your husband. What can I say? As someone who is going through similar experience, I can only say that though it is very very painful, we have to find ways of coping and getting on with life atleast for the sake of those lives that are dependent on us(for now atleast!)
Do you have children? How are they coping?May be our children should correspond with each other and exchange their thoughts.Let's keep in touch.
Good luck and best wishes
2006-03-01
#6
Name: sneha Subject: dont give up
hii
i can understand your pain .time is definately the best medicine but (please dont get me wrong dear)i know it may be too early may be but have you thought of remarriage .i had a friend who was in the same boat as yiurs ,she had a daughter ,but after her marriage she overcomed her pain .
life is like a book u have to start another chapter after one ends
please dont get me wrong
i am writing to u all this because i really want you to be happy
god bless you
iwill pray for you
2006-07-30
#7
Name: vinita Subject: Thank you
Dear Sneha, Thank you for your best wishes.I don't think marriage is a solution for my predicament now.I can't stand the thought of anyone taking my husband's place in our lives now.
2006-02-09
#8
Name: Minal Subject: hi
Dear freind,
i can understand you.
as a friend,
have faith.
may God bless you in all your endeavours.
with love
minal
2006-02-24
#9
Name: vinita Subject: Thank you
Thank you Minal for your support and understanding
2006-02-07
#10
Name: hope 2 help Subject: grief
grief is not weakness or selfindulgence. It is an individual process that can not be ignored or denied indefinately. It is never pleasant or easy nor is it a rational or logical process. It affects the whole person but we should remember that grief can lead to positive changes in a person. Grief, even when shared, is never fully understandable. When we loose someone we are forced to confront that loss and accept it as a reality. Don't fear your grief Vinsom, it will take time but it is survivable. You do not have to put your memories aside instead you must find a comfortable place to put them in your heart. I pray that life brings you joy forever more.
2006-02-24
#11
Name: vinita Subject: Thanks
Thanks a lot, my mind does understand this on one level but it's the heart which takes longer to come to terms with the loss.
2006-02-05
#12
Name: wish u happiness Subject: let go of the pain & hold on to the happiness
They say it can take 1-5 years to get over the loss of a significant person in your life. It is always very hard to let go of the ones we love and we are so sad that they have gone that life occasionally seems to have lost its meaning. Memories are really all we have left of loved ones when they pass on, I know they are painful now but in time even the most hurtful will cause you to smile. I lost someone and for a while I didn't see how I could ever move on after that, it is one thing to promise yourself you wont be sad because they died but it is hard to live that way. I always tried to remind myself of all the happy things we shared, tried to always rejoice that they lived. Death isn't really about saying goodbye to the people we love, its just a change in the relationship.
2006-02-24
#13
Name: vinsom Subject: Thank you
Thank you for sharing with me.I'm trying to remember the old times without associating them with the loss, but it's difficult.I guess time is the only medicine now
2006-01-28
#14
Name: USA Lady Subject: Read the Koran and Reflect
Remember and know that everything infront of you and behind you and to the left of you and to to the right of you is fading and will not last. This earth will pass away as you and I will too. Death is decreed for us all as it was for your husband. So make the best of your time on Earth by contemplating on your Creator and worshipping only him, because only our Creator is forever and really only through him can we attain true happiness in this world and in the next. So use this test in life you build your faith. Before you die, open your heart, and read the Koran. In it you will find healing and inspiration to put those memories behind you and move on. Many women have walked the same path you are walking on now and have made it. You can too. I know it is hard. But try. No one's death is meant to be easy. Try not to lose yourself in it. Focus on what you have gained, not what you have lost. Cherish all you have. And think about someone in a worst situation. There is always someone who has less, or has lost more. Worship God, remember God, pray to God to guide you and make you strong. And read the Koran just once in English or whatever language you speak, just once. It is a healing and mercy for mankind.
2006-02-24
#15
Name: vinsom Subject: thank you
Thank you, I'll definetely try to read it
2006-01-12
#16
Name: Raj Subject: Hi
Hi,
its very hard to forget our beloved but dear u need to take care of your kids also. the only thing i wana suggest u that when ever u remember your love bring a smile on your face and commit him that u will take care of kids better.
2006-02-24
#17
Name: vinsom Subject: thank you
Thank you.I'll do that
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single mother.
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Name: vinita
have you coped
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