Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have been married for 2 years now. I year after our wedding my mother in law had a major health problem and one day my husbands sister in a converstaion blamed me for it saying that I was unlucky in this house. My husband explained to me that she is frustrated and forgive her, which i did. But till date anything important that goes on in her life like they buying a house or car or anything good, she keeps me out of the news. Outwardly she is ok with me. Its weird at times that she chats with me for an hour and doesnt tell me of things that they did they very same day. I told my husband that she considers me unlukcy and I dont feel theres a point in keeping the friendship with her. It might sound silly but I dont find it a healthy relation. For eg once I chatted with her for an hour and we spoke of everything even like what we were going to do on the weekend and she didnt tell me that she was performing in a concert that weekend. As if it was a major CIA secret concert. I try to tell my husband that she does that becasue she belives that i might jinx it. I dont wish to be associalted with her but he just doesnt get it and says that I am too childish. I don't know what to belive in anymore. But all I know is that this is hurtful to me. How do I handle this. this relation just makes me feel like an unwanted jinxed person and i dont like feeling that way. amit replied. hi shefali i am amit from delhi i am working on govt. office if you want making a good friendship with me mail me this id yadavjkjk@yahoo.co.in Sheela replied. I have to agree with \";Hi\";. It looks like ur SIL is causing u more mental damage that she thinks u cause her. We live in a real world and no point torturing urself with what other people think and feel of you.Just maintain a distance from her and not be bothered abt what goes on in her life. Also try to avoid complaining abt this to ur husband as it may make him feel u r a complainer. The best was is to maintain a distance with her and concentrate on ur life rather than concentrating on what's happening in hers. Shefali replied. Wont agree that I am fond of her. But if someone talks to me its not possible for me to be rude to that person. Although i feel bad/hurt about people behaving a certain way i am not able to relaliate back at them. Maybe its the god thing, that i belive in. Am afraid of doing somethings thats not nice. But i do understand that its best to avoid such people.
THanks for the advice. Anju replied. Hi,
I agree with priti. If u know urself don't worry wat ur SIL thinks. Be nice to her so that 1 day she will realise ur value. Never behave to her the same way she behaves with u. Everyone can do that. So be different and love her.
God Bless You,
Anju priti replied. hey shefali...wat i feel is...u shld nt think much of wat people think bout u...n aftr all y 2 consider 1person's perception bout u....u wld b havin lot many others who wld b considering u lucky enough 4 them....just tk it lightly...n evn if ur SIL talks2 u 4 an hr....njoy it n dnt thnk beyond it.... Hi replied. Looks like you are little bit fond of your SIL wihtout your knowledge..otherwise you would have put an end to this by now?!...
And Come on, be Serious..do you HAVE to tell everything to your husband?....
Youd need to back off from this SIL's friendship..that is very obvious and your husband does not have to agree 100% with you..
Just dont tell him but you start to cut your time you spend wiht your SIL over the phone or in person...She is a jinx to you.Until the end your husband is not going to say 'ok dont mingle with my sister..' because she is his sister..So it is your and only your problem to maintain your dignity and respect wiht people like your SIL.Just convey the message to her that You are backing off!and she will understand and see if she tries to correct herself..if she does not then move on with life without her friendship...she does not deserve you!!...