Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,
last year I got married and ours was a love marriage.Earlier my husband use to take out each and every second for me but now he doesn't bother about my feelings.I was also working in an IT company but last month I've quit my job because of my health problems.
My husband is fond of friends and is very (more than required)social. He goes out for work and instead of coming back home directly,he'll call up his friends and go out. when he is at home also, he'd be on phone either talking to his parents, colleagues or friends. He just needs me when he wants food.Rest of the times, he would be busy on his laptop. when I complain about these things, we end up in arguments with no solutions.
He is excited towards everything...his job, his family, his friends ......
Only leftover is me.I am left at home only for cooking and being very frank, he is not attracted towards s** also...we generally have s** once or twice in a month that too when I initiate.

I am really feeling very lonely and depressed. I have a mixed feeling for him. Its not that I am not preety or not educated,then don't understand why this is happening to me.I cook well and he is satisfied with how I keep my house -neat and clean.

I just want him to come home after office so that we can spend some time together, I never give him any household burdens...inspite of my illness, I do household works all alone.I never complaint but don't know where i am going wrong.

I love him a lot...want my lovelife to blossom forever....

Plz suggets him how to go ahead ..........

thanks in advance, Shona replied. Dear Pal,
After entering this forum i came to knew we females r going throuh same problem.
But wats the solution.......my hubby too does that he goes out of his way to b his friends(male or female)Drops them home while i wl go to my gyn in my 8th month on my own,spend weekends(when he is in US) with his bunch while back at home he prefer to watch tv or sleep on weekends.Our is a love marrige but i never even holds my hand in the public till this date or ask me foe a pic together...........where as his US trip snapshots r full of him holding his office collegues(females)or their sets of snaps(i know they r just friends.....but).He is too matured n serious at home n talks only about politics,or how can i do time management to take care of my kids(i have 2 kids)or how his Mom the great lookedafter their home inspite of problems created by her in laws.(indian taditions n values)(but loves to go to nude clubs in las vegas)Where as his office friends tell me he is the biggest prankster in office.
He prefer masturbation rather than sex...........as soon as he comes from the office he takes bath ,his food n watches TV.....if i sit with him to watch TV he goes off to sleep.Very rarly he innitiates sex..........if i do he either says he is tiered or he shagged in morning..........phew.He can talk of sex whole day but no sex.........when i once checked his mail it was full of porn pics n dirty jokes........but he wants his wife to b too traditional taking care of home kids,his parents.......do pallu too.
I too suffer from health problems.Ni too left my career for my kids.........now i m not able to go back.
For sex now i too have started masturbating in noons if my kids give me some time.I have started making new friends(no male friend)Demanded little domestic help from him n hired a bit help too.
Planning to start some part time business(but my health wont allow it seems)Planning to join yoga classes.
but still at times i feel vaccum.i love him a lot ...........nobody can ever take his place n i feel the need of vacum to fill.I try my level best to give quality n quantity time to my kids.(No doubt he is the best father in the world)I m trying to saturate my self with other things but wat should i do to feel loved again( i m still too good looking) Emmanuel replied. Hi Pal,
Ur prob seems to be the same as others and nothing diff. It doesn't mean that i don't love you or i don't have time for you. But i know, to make u happy i need to do a lot of things. I don't know wht's with men that once you go after them they lose interest in you. Remember b4 marriage i used to b after u day & night. Either phone or land up rght b4 ur hostel, remember the days when i used to send flowers to ur office without ur knowledge. Well i did a lot to win ur love. But wht i lost then was some time to build my career and i know u also married me coz i did all the hardwork to go to a premier institute and get a decent job. Tell me if i hadn't done it wud u hav married me??
Well there is nothing wrong in you...thoda bhaav kam doh and see wht happens.

Love

Emmanuel pinky replied. i used to think i was the only one going through with this now i feel a little better knowing there are a lots of women with the same problem. i too have to initiate sex with my husband he prefers it if i just masturbate him..i feel very frustruated in my relationship i am 22 weeks pregnant now and this is going on since before my pregnancy..now i am fed up with him.. he hardly even smooches me..i wonder why!!! Pal replied. thanks all of you for ur suggestions....I'll try my best to blossom my married life...

cheers same replied. Pal same here lot of phone calls from morning till evening that too he gets missed calls and like a fool he keeps calling all of them.That too when we are busy he gets a call and he feel those calls are more important then memebers at home.doono when i will go out of control and land in throwing him out sonu replied. hi friends,

Divorce is not the solution to any marriage which is not followed by any cheating or abuse..Take your own time friends..try to find out why ur husband stay out as still wife is waiting for him at home..Try to be his friend before being a wife.Be frank with him talk to him, try to know why he stays with them for so long , what they talk...Put some efforts to blossom ur married life..You take initiatives..make romantic candle light dinner with some awesome music beside...

Friend theres no free lunch in this world so to have somethg sweet you urself have to cook or buy it..SO try your sex life more active then i wish ur husband may find his friends in you and stop goin outside gg replied.
even i m sailing on the same boat,, its been 2 yrs still no answer to the problem, and i m sure i will never get one,,, there is final solution which is divorce and i guess i m going to use it someday