Relationships  Discussion Forum

hello
1 at ever u do for your inlaws they always treat u as stranger why?
2 y hubby' s are so selfish when u show them that u do care for their parents then they are happy otherwise u relationship is in danger.why?
3 when ever u decide something for ur self ur ur own happiness there will be a problem in family.why?
is our own family(hubby,inlaws) really love us?
what should we do if that kind of feeling comes in our mind.should we live for our own happiness or devote everything for others.
plz do write how u make your self happy.
thanks replied. 1. (at ever u do for your inlaws they always treat u as stranger why?) I don' t allow ANYONE to treat me as persona non grata. I don' t treat people badly and accordingly I assert my rights when people treat me thusly. This extend to my in laws as well.

2. (y hubby' s are so selfish when u show them that u do care for their parents then they are happy otherwise u relationship is in danger.why?) Both men & women are selfish. As for needing to reaffirm my devotion to his parents to keep marital harmony I don' t! I remind him that when we make love, my relationship with his parents isn' t a consideration nor are they a factor in other areas of our marriage. It is after all OUR marriage and not THEIRS.

3. (when ever u decide something for ur self ur ur own happiness there will be a problem in family.why?) This is the million dollar question but it think it stems from selfishness, envy, jealousy and a dozen other negative emotions.

4. (is our own family(hubby,inlaws) really love us?) Can we ever really know how anyone feels? If we allow people to treat us poorly, hurt or humiliate us with the knowledge that a good DIL will say nothing to contradict them than one can' t help but speculate that we might be as worthless as they' re making us believe we are. And frankly who can love a person who would put up with people treating them so badly? Why bother loving them when you can use & abuse?

And in answer to your question as to how to deal with it, do we think of ourselves of do we devote ourselves to others let me say what I do. I love myself, I keep friends with people who are kind and nice, I avoid mean people and stand up for myself. All I ask for is a little respect and so far it has never failed