Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hello All,

I have been living here in US all my life and planning on moving to India. Do you think its a good idea? I get scared sometimes because I have never lived there before. I hear many problmes that women go thorough there such as inlaws, cooking and living a hard life there... is that true? For thouse who have come straight from India I would like to hear from you, but any suggestions are welcomed. neelu replied. Dear Maya
Don't even think of moving to India if u r married or planning to get married.I was born and brought up in India but settled in U.S after getting married.Life is not easy for a daughter in law there.Last year when I went to
India for the first time after coming here,i had a very bad experience with my in laws. They were not even letting me meet my parents in India.
Just because of them i had lots of misunderstanding with my hubby.
My advice is THINK ATLEAST 1000 TIMES BEFORE MOVING TO INDIA!!! Woman replied. Maya,
This will be like shooting yourself in the foot. India has 2 groups of women, one whom I call have seen Tajmahal (who have experienced IN_LAWS) and the other group who have'nt had the oppurtunity to see Tajmahal (who have never lived with IN-LAWS). Being from the first group, I will advice you never ever to make that mistake. Women in India do not even get the status of human beings so forget about getting the status of wife. I am facing my in-laws even here so for me India and the US are no different. But there, no matter how educated you are or what post you hold at work, you can never escape the expectations and demands of in-laws. If I begin to write here, I can probably publish a book on how bad it is to live with them but for now I would suggest you that if you are planning to move there then first get rid of your self-esteem, principles that you have in life and the feeling that you are an individual and then your move might be easy.
GOOD LUCK!!
A Friend.
friend replied. Maya
If you have been raised here, you will definitely be better off living in US. One biggest advantage with you is tht you have your parents here with you in US. But also try to think in terms of your wud-be-hubby who is far from home and also far from his parents. Not all in-laws are interfering or bad as you might think. Afterall when you marry a person you are making a relation with his whole family not just him. Suppose your would-be feels the same about your parents like you do then wht? And as far as life in India is concerned, any big Indian city (metropolis) has as good living standards as in US. All you need is a good financial background and you'll have all the amenities at your feet. Try to discuss all the pros and cons with your wud-be and then make a decision. X replied. U mean you have stayed in US for whole life and now want to go there. You must be nuts to take that decision. If you are married, forget India. You will not have the freedom who have here. Once u land in India ur in-laws will stick to you like gum. They are the worst parasites - imagine the cooking, cleaning, listening to their dumb comments. Even if you have a hubby who wags his tail in front of you don't believe him. Once his mother sheds a drop or two he will leave you biting dust and then u are stuck. Please if you are so naive, talk to indian girls who have have come here. Ask them if they would go back and then take a decision. And a word of caution, there r those married women( & men too) who do all sweet talking abt India but themselves are always wooried abt having a GC, buying home and settling in US. Where women are concerned hubby parents and his family are the biggest problem. anonymous replied. Maya,

Do you mean that you were born and raised here and going to India because ur hubby is from there? If yes, then my advice would be do not go there, especially if you are married. Life in India has its own advantages - there are relatives (some) who love you dearly, festivities, you are never alone. But the other side is you can never be alone even if you wish to be. Its especially true if you are married. You (with ur hubby) cannot take decisions solely on your own and execute, there's always in-laws and husband's family members poking there noses, no-one recognizes a couple's need for privacy. You just have to be in the flow. You have to be ready to bend to (especially) in-laws wishes and whims, their constant interference and existence in everything, your hubby dancing to his mother's tunes. Occasionally be ready to hear abt how the list of sacrifices that they have done for their son. No matter how educated you are or the sacrifices done by your parents. Then there can be BIL, SIL and there problems too. Maya, there are girls from India who get married and come to US and within year or two decide that they would never go back to India for good. These girls do get homesick and miss their parents but i think the in-laws trouble is a bigger headache than you can imagine. My advice, don't go to India.