Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have love marrige and we stay with our MIL and BIL. i got pregnent just after my marriage so it was really emotional for me as i was not able to cope with pregency so soon. and above on that, my MIL played a big role in ruining all my happiness after my marriage. From the day one, she had expected me take over the whole household work, whereas she knew as i have studied in hostels and i did not know household work and i needed sometime to take responsibilties. From day one, she started shouting at me in front of my husband and my BIL and accused me that i did not like staying with her whereas i had not said even a single thing. and then her shouting badly over all small matters on me became regular. My husband did not try to stop her as he feared she will think that he is taking wife' s side. i have not been feeling well since first day, as earlier i had vomiting problem for 3 months and now i am facing high BP problem in 8th month and i have not had time and health to take home responsibilties as i have to go to office too and its 7 to 7.i have told her so many times she should consider my health but she says i am doing all ' natak' and people get pregnent and give birth to kids and its normal and i should not show special attention to my health. and she takes all small things said my me and does a big fight after every 3-4 days. she says how much she shouts i should not say a single thing. she has broke my respect in front of my husband and BIL day by day and still i am the one who is accused of not understanding family values.

let me tell you why she behaves this way. she has faced a tough life and she did not get help from anybody whole her life. she had to do all the household work from morning till night and she could not grumble as her father-in-law was very strict in this manner. even when she came after pregnency, she had to start cleaning home the same instant as her family did not like having servant. i have always considered this and that' s why i have put up with her for such a long time. But i think her situation in life has made her so strong headed that she cant see my problems becoz there was nobody for her when she needed some help. I dont say her point of view is wrong but being in my condition when i start feeling dizzy if i stand for more than an hour, i dont know how to make her feel that i am really in not good condition. Becoz when i go to take rest, she starts shouting at the same instant that i am making excuse for not making meal. I asked her to keep servant but she has taken it otherwise that i dont want to do work so i am taking easy way whereas i have told her so many times that this i want for her not for me. why should she work so much that she should feel irritated. but as she is so strong headed from the day one about daughter-in-law' s responsibilties, she never considers this option. she helps in household work but keeps grumbling and shouting at me that i have made her a maid servant and she is there only to do household work and by taking rest i am being \" maharani\" .doctor had told me to take full rest during pregnency as i have problem of placenta covering the os and it would have resulted in abortion. she even made me clean toilets in that condition whereas doctor had even told me not to take a walk so that it could not cause any problem to baby. she says everytime, i am not burden for her and she has repeated it for atleast 100 times. my husband had tried to speak to her once and then she had started all the big drama that now she has taught u this too.

can you suggest me how to cope as she has again fought badly and left in anger to her home in native town and i am not feeling well she knows it too well. i dont know what should i do as i can not call my parents and she has left me in middle. and when she comes she will try to show everybody how much she has cared for me but whereas she has not provided me one meal peacefully for a single day after marriage. i am fed up of her dual standard as she is happy that she is getting grand son/daughter but she has not considered my condition for a single day and now when the peak time is coming she has left and will come only some time before my due date so that nobody can say she did not do anything for me. one option i see is to do all the work by myself so that she wont be able to tell anybody this lie that she did care for me. i know it is going to be at the cost of my health but i find it necessary for my self respect, which she has tried to break day by day as i could not do household work. puja replied. Hi Suhani,
I have been through the same situation.Please please take care of your health. Don' t listen to MIL at all. Yes hire somebody. I think you are in India. you are working, if you can afford having maid. it will be a big help to you and your baby. friend replied. Hi Dear
It is good Time for you, Hire someone to do Household and cooking, so when You come back from work It will be easy and you can have peaceful meal. Good luck but hire someone, she just left you to show you what her importance is in the house and to tell you that you can' t do anything , so plz hire someone, Plancenta previa can be dangerous to you and baby, so Take care and have healthy and happy pregnancy. Solution replied. Your husband is the only person who can do anything in this matter if he doesnot speack for you then it' s difficult. Talk to him and ask him to make her understand or start taking decision by urself. Don' t ask for the persmission say if u want a helping hand then ask search for one and employe her directly without bothering what will be the response from ur MIL. and take care of urself don' t harm ur and ur kid' s health because of some anger or ego. Wish u all the best.