My 5 yr old daughter is asking me to buy her a doll she saw on TV. I really wanted to get her that as she has been requesting since long, I checked out its price and its ranged from 750-1000Rs. I need opinion from those who have faced such situations earlier and what u have done.
As per my financial status, spending this much money is not big deal but is neither a casual deal either. We dont have second thought on buying something at this price if its really worth it. But for a doll, I know she is going to flaunt it for 4-5 days, then it will lay with her toys, and 15-20 days later the 1000Rs doll will loose all her hair, get her face painted, will have tattoos on her face and body, will lose leg or hand, and will be lying without clothes in the living room right when I have guests. You know what I mean.
I also feel that I can buy many more toys or useful things for my dh in same money.
Fulfilling her wish is just going to give her temporary happiness. Even if she takes care of the doll and preserves it in its beautiful state, still she is gonna lose interest in it and it will just lie in her closet (i wd rather want her to do experiments with the doll, thats more fun and learning).
I talked to her about this. Her first expression was - no, i still want it. On explaining more, she promised she will not spoil the doll and play with it always! I tried to explain her again and she understood and said - ok buy me a cheaper one but it has to have wings and this and that.
The next day i brought her 3-4 toys/things that she wanted and are useful. I told her \" see i have bought so many at the same price\" and she was like \" ok i agree but i really want a doll with wings, atleast by me a cheaper one\" .
My dh is a good and calm girl. I appreciate her understanding at this age: see she has not been stubborn and is trying to understand the problem and morover giving me options!
My mother' s heart has melted and I am thinking of buying her the expensive one. My dh says I am just being emotional and I should think practically. he says if i want to spend that much money i should buy something more useful, and i should buy her expensice doll when she grows up and when girls like more to flaunt their dolls with their friends and also know how to take care of them.
I have never bought her toys of this price earlier - dresses, shoes, other things of this price or more i hv bought.
What do you people say?
Subscribe to this conversation
Reply Anonymously
My 5 yr old daughter is asking me to buy her a doll she saw on TV. I really wanted to get her that as she has been requesting since long, I checked out its price and its ranged from 750-1000Rs. I need opinion from those who have faced such situations earlier and what u have done.
As per my financial status, spending this much money is not big deal but is neither a casual deal either. We dont have second thought on buying something at this price if its really worth it. But for a doll, I know she is going to flaunt it for 4-5 days, then it will lay with her toys, and 15-20 days later the 1000Rs doll will loose all her hair, get her face painted, will have tattoos on her face and body, will lose leg or hand, and will be lying without clothes in the living room right when I have guests. You know what I mean.
I also feel that I can buy many more toys or useful things for my dh in same money.
Fulfilling her wish is just going to give her temporary happiness. Even if she takes care of the doll and preserves it in its beautiful state, still she is gonna lose interest in it and it will just lie in her closet (i wd rather want her to do experiments with the doll, thats more fun and learning).
I talked to her about this. Her first expression was - no, i still want it. On explaining more, she promised she will not spoil the doll and play with it always! I tried to explain her again and she understood and said - ok buy me a cheaper one but it has to have wings and this and that.
The next day i brought her 3-4 toys/things that she wanted and are useful. I told her \" see i have bought so many at the same price\" and she was like \" ok i agree but i really want a doll with wings, atleast by me a cheaper one\" .
My dh is a good and calm girl. I appreciate her understanding at this age: see she has not been stubborn and is trying to understand the problem and morover giving me options!
My mother' s heart has melted and I am thinking of buying her the expensive one. My dh says I am just being emotional and I should think practically. he says if i want to spend that much money i should buy something more useful, and i should buy her expensice doll when she grows up and when girls like more to flaunt their dolls with their friends and also know how to take care of them.
I have never bought her toys of this price earlier - dresses, shoes, other things of this price or more i hv bought.
What do you people say?
dia replied. I read ur post and all replies...I liked the idea of saving and teaching value of money! Thats ok!
Initially I used to struggle similar way but ,But these days I started thinking in different way...What if we buy particular thing when they r willing for it in thatmuch strong?! Ok,if we dont afford it, we can make them realise, But when we buy same price of clothes ,shoes which they dont ask, Y cant we afford same money for what thye really wanted??! Ok, Making them realising value of money is really great IDEA. I do it many times and make myself stubborn not to buy some things...But recently I had to face similar experience...
We have a function in my home next week.I liked a traditional dress very much and its costing me Rs.1500. I convinced myself she would not wear it in summer and I can buy 3,4 casualwears for daily wear within thta cost. Ok, but very next day I could see expenses of this function and nearly we r buying everyone in family minimum 1500 and more dress...For my mil, SIL(bought 2500/- And we r giving her 37,000 worth gold too) ,FIL, myself (me too got good one),hubby, even for sil' s hubby, and by seeing all these I bought my mom too a good saree.....
Then Y shdn' t I buy for my Daughter??! After all she is little one and cant demand ,so shd I neglect her? For the function me and my hubby celebrating , we r giving my SIL so much money because she is Daughter to my inlaws .Then Y cant I buy for my only daughter???
These things made me think and at last I BOUGHT it.Even I felt for a dress which can not be usd for longer tme, its just waste of money.when we r spending and spending for a fancy saree, Y SHDN' T i BUY FOR HER???
So, dear Prashi, I' m just telling u friction going on my mind...not saying someone is wrong ...But carrying on same discussion.
Even when everyone' s friend has that doll of Rs.600 I couldn' t buy it thinking practically. And We spent nearly Rs.25,000 on 2nd b' day celebrations but couldnt buy it as a b' dAy gift? For the same b' day she got the same doll gift from my hubby' s friend. and now I just hid it for her future use. Still didnt give her this toy though I didnt spend a penny on it.
So Prashi, Regarding our own kids, sometimes we choose what is right for them.But nowadays I' m changing my path....We spending money on what they really not wanted is waste...But spending money for thier strong desires might not be wrong! At the same time we shd be cautious teaching them value of money too....Also, they shdn' t become stubborn to get what they want.
Now u don' t buy it...but let her save money and buy that doll herself.She will get that satisfaction.
When u have this friction to buy or not, remember ur recent expences on ur fancy dress or ur family dining out etc....Then u' ll feel it' s ok to buy it for her.
ok Prashi, have a gr8 day! Keep writing simple thoughts...
Prashi replied. Thank you shivani and sympathy.
I did explain to her why I cannot buy the doll and my dd was understaneable and patient and did not cry or throw tantrums. I still took her to the doll shop and she picked up that expensive one and asked me, is this really expensive? I said yes. She put it bank, went ahead and picked up another one and asked me, is this cheaper? It was. she said, ok get me this one.
I got it and she is playing happily with it, keeping it safe and intact and taking care.
I really liked the idea of making her save money for getting what she wants. She has a piggy bank and keeps putting money in it, but we were not really attentive or regular with that. At times, i was also encourage her to make her own money by running errands but somehow we had forgotten that for past many months. Thanks for yor idea shivani, i will her back to saving and making money for her doll.
shivani replied. dear prashi,
i was in the same sitution like urs with my son who is 4 yrs old. he wanted a spiderman watch. it was just $ 7. here is what i did.
we have started my son on an allowance... he gets 2$ every week . in that $1 he has to save in his piggybank and 1$ he can keep aside for spending which ever way he wants. it has been 5 weeks and he has been saving $1 each week. the watch is 7$ so two more weeks to go.
if u make ur daughter understand and ask her to save and buy. i am sure she will understand. she will value it more, and it won' t be an instant stress on u. maybe it will take 3-4 months. but believe me she will be so happy to collect that money and then buy it. it also teaches children value of money.
hope this will help u
shivani
sympathies replied. Hi Prashi,
This is the time you as a parent are laying a foundation for your daughter.
1. If you buy her that particular doll now, for the rest of her life, she will expect everything in life to happen her way and all her wishes to be fulfilled.
2. If you can explain her very calmly and tell her she can not have the doll for the same reasons. And you do not buy her the doll, she will learn a very valuable lesson in life for this age.
This is the time you are teaching your kid the true lesson:- value of money and that in life you can not get everything you want and things necessarily wont go your way.
They will learn to be more patient and be good humans after growing up.
As a psychologist, I would recommend you to talk to her and explain her about why you are not buying her the doll and she needs to understand and be okay with it.
Don' t spoil her. It is absolutely okay for kids to understand about the value of things at this age. Here in US, kids are taught this lesson from 3 years itself.So you are not being a bad parent by not buying the doll. Don' t let her guilt trap you into it.
Good luck to you.
Prashi replied. used dh instead of dd at some places.
use dh and dd as applies.
2007-04-30
#1
Name: dia Subject: Still....
I read ur post and all replies...I liked the idea of saving and teaching value of money! Thats ok!
Initially I used to struggle similar way but ,But these days I started thinking in different way...What if we buy particular thing when they r willing for it in thatmuch strong?! Ok,if we dont afford it, we can make them realise, But when we buy same price of clothes ,shoes which they dont ask, Y cant we afford same money for what thye really wanted??! Ok, Making them realising value of money is really great IDEA. I do it many times and make myself stubborn not to buy some things...But recently I had to face similar experience...
We have a function in my home next week.I liked a traditional dress very much and its costing me Rs.1500. I convinced myself she would not wear it in summer and I can buy 3,4 casualwears for daily wear within thta cost. Ok, but very next day I could see expenses of this function and nearly we r buying everyone in family minimum 1500 and more dress...For my mil, SIL(bought 2500/- And we r giving her 37,000 worth gold too) ,FIL, myself (me too got good one),hubby, even for sil' s hubby, and by seeing all these I bought my mom too a good saree.....
Then Y shdn' t I buy for my Daughter??! After all she is little one and cant demand ,so shd I neglect her? For the function me and my hubby celebrating , we r giving my SIL so much money because she is Daughter to my inlaws .Then Y cant I buy for my only daughter???
These things made me think and at last I BOUGHT it.Even I felt for a dress which can not be usd for longer tme, its just waste of money.when we r spending and spending for a fancy saree, Y SHDN' T i BUY FOR HER???
So, dear Prashi, I' m just telling u friction going on my mind...not saying someone is wrong ...But carrying on same discussion.
Even when everyone' s friend has that doll of Rs.600 I couldn' t buy it thinking practically. And We spent nearly Rs.25,000 on 2nd b' day celebrations but couldnt buy it as a b' dAy gift? For the same b' day she got the same doll gift from my hubby' s friend. and now I just hid it for her future use. Still didnt give her this toy though I didnt spend a penny on it.
So Prashi, Regarding our own kids, sometimes we choose what is right for them.But nowadays I' m changing my path....We spending money on what they really not wanted is waste...But spending money for thier strong desires might not be wrong! At the same time we shd be cautious teaching them value of money too....Also, they shdn' t become stubborn to get what they want.
Now u don' t buy it...but let her save money and buy that doll herself.She will get that satisfaction.
When u have this friction to buy or not, remember ur recent expences on ur fancy dress or ur family dining out etc....Then u' ll feel it' s ok to buy it for her.
ok Prashi, have a gr8 day! Keep writing simple thoughts...
2007-05-01
#2
Name: Prashi Subject: Thanks dia
I agree to your thoughts. I too have alwys believed in this and I never compromise on price when it comes to clothings or such general useful things. I have always bought her clothes that are good quality and worth it, irrespective of price. (Some shop´ s kid´ s clothes are overpriced so we should be careful).
But for toys i hv been a miser for reasons that she doesnt play with them for long and spoils them. Thats natural i know but i was not sure if worth spending so much money.
Now my dd doesnt drool over every other toy she sees. She has been a child that u take her to a toy shop and she picks only what she wants and walks out. Even if u ask her do you want that other toy too? and she refuses. But she is not careful with her things and needs to learn the value of money.
I liked what you said because you just went thru it and realised, and ironically we do ignore children in that way many times.
I have started the earn-your-money game with my daughter. For every good work she does, she is paid. (we have set some terms conditions on some tasks) and she is collecting money in her piggy and she is making sure to be a good girl so that she earns more. She is enjoying it too.
Today we were talking about something else and i just told her you know the money you wd be spending on doll so many beggar children can eat food. She was silent for a while but is a kid afterall. She said ok i will start giving all those things i throw away, now to the beggar kids. (but she did not sacrifice on her doll, which is ok she is a kid and has her wishes).
so its working out well so far. thanks to all who have helped me
2007-04-30
#3
Name: Prashi Subject: Great idea
Thank you shivani and sympathy.
I did explain to her why I cannot buy the doll and my dd was understaneable and patient and did not cry or throw tantrums. I still took her to the doll shop and she picked up that expensive one and asked me, is this really expensive? I said yes. She put it bank, went ahead and picked up another one and asked me, is this cheaper? It was. she said, ok get me this one.
I got it and she is playing happily with it, keeping it safe and intact and taking care.
I really liked the idea of making her save money for getting what she wants. She has a piggy bank and keeps putting money in it, but we were not really attentive or regular with that. At times, i was also encourage her to make her own money by running errands but somehow we had forgotten that for past many months. Thanks for yor idea shivani, i will her back to saving and making money for her doll.
2007-04-28
#4
Name: shivani Subject: teach saving
dear prashi,
i was in the same sitution like urs with my son who is 4 yrs old. he wanted a spiderman watch. it was just $ 7. here is what i did.
we have started my son on an allowance... he gets 2$ every week . in that $1 he has to save in his piggybank and 1$ he can keep aside for spending which ever way he wants. it has been 5 weeks and he has been saving $1 each week. the watch is 7$ so two more weeks to go.
if u make ur daughter understand and ask her to save and buy. i am sure she will understand. she will value it more, and it won' t be an instant stress on u. maybe it will take 3-4 months. but believe me she will be so happy to collect that money and then buy it. it also teaches children value of money.
hope this will help u
shivani
2007-04-28
#5
Name: sympathies Subject: This is the time
Hi Prashi,
This is the time you as a parent are laying a foundation for your daughter.
1. If you buy her that particular doll now, for the rest of her life, she will expect everything in life to happen her way and all her wishes to be fulfilled.
2. If you can explain her very calmly and tell her she can not have the doll for the same reasons. And you do not buy her the doll, she will learn a very valuable lesson in life for this age.
This is the time you are teaching your kid the true lesson:- value of money and that in life you can not get everything you want and things necessarily wont go your way.
They will learn to be more patient and be good humans after growing up.
As a psychologist, I would recommend you to talk to her and explain her about why you are not buying her the doll and she needs to understand and be okay with it.
Don' t spoil her. It is absolutely okay for kids to understand about the value of things at this age. Here in US, kids are taught this lesson from 3 years itself.So you are not being a bad parent by not buying the doll. Don' t let her guilt trap you into it.
Good luck to you.
2007-04-26
#6
Name: Prashi Subject: sorry
used dh instead of dd at some places.
use dh and dd as applies.
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : Buy expensive doll for dh?
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic : Buy expensive doll for dh?
Subscribe to this conversation!
All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
Don't think too much .its common Nowdays... - Deepika [View Message]
RE:RE:sex in joint family
Wish to know one real person... - Dippy [View Message]
Arrangement with inlaws
Hi Everyone,
I am about to get married soon and I want suggestion regarding a certain living arrangement that me, my to be husband and in-laws are thinking about to maintain peace as well as be available for each other.
We are confused as to if we should live in the same house and different floors or we should stay in separate apartments in the same apartment s... - Anupama Singhal [View Message]
RE:RE:sex in joint family
One should take care. It's private. ... - Dippy [View Message]
Should a single man live with his mum in India?
I am a man in my late 40s and I have lived abroad in USA for the past two decades. I never had any interest in marrying or having kids so I never married. Recently my Dad passed away and my mother will be alone. I have made enough money to retire comfortably but because I am used to the American lifestyle I can't live in India. Recently my relatives have started saying tha... - Venkat Dabri [View Message]
RE:sex in joint family
It's very common in joint family.just ignore... - Minal [View Message]
I am Newhere
Hi all , I am newbie to this forum...hope you all feel well... - Lucamia Ava [View Message]
Still....
Name: Prashi
Thanks dia
Great idea
teach saving
sorry
Family Planning
Pregnancy
Babies
Kids
Teens
Discuss
Community
Find Listing
Videos
More
