Relationships  Discussion Forum

Iam a govt servant ,and my husband is in the private sector.We're staying in ajoint family
Ihad really blissful expectations of marriage but that didnot happen.Apart from the routine joint family problems,I sometimes get frustrated with myhusband 's attitude.
-he is unable to spend quality time with me Iunderstand he is in a tough responsible job that takes most of his time but i feel even if we have 5min it should be qualitative.Ithink he gives more time to TV and his brother
-he has GF's about whom he talks to me openly but Ifeel jealous when he appreciates them
-he does not show that he cares,even if Ihave to go to a dr ,Ihve to go alone,,i don't know whether it happens b'coz of timepressure or hejust does'nt wish to go with me
-though a very broad minded person ,but wishes to have a submissive wife ,the usual picture of an indian wife kind, which unfortunately Iam not
-Ifeel this marriage is going on b'coz of my efforts,he is simply keeping it alive for society's sake .is it just an outcome of my frustration?
-he never gives me any surprise gifts,or demonstrate his love i.e Idon't find him one of those romantic kinds,but he frankly accepts he flirts with girls
-We have differences about money. he wants me to givemy full pay towards family expenses since his brother is not earning much.
-For him joint family is a necessity,for me it is an arrangement suited to the selfish interests of his family members (though Inever say so)and give 80%of my earnings to my MIL
-hIS bhabhi is very lazy kinds so Ihave to do all the husekeeping i.e cooking etc though with the help of servants
-there is interference of his sisters too much.

Please advise what should Ido Isometimes feel very lonely.My husband says he is attached to me for his love is only reserved for God and Iam a very important person in his life.We have a 2yrs old daughter,should Iend this marriage b'coz ofthe dissatisfaction in it . My husband rarely appreciates me for the sacrifice Imake for the joint family
meenakshi replied. hi dear !
this issue is quite common. do not worry becoz it will add 2 ur problems. believe in god. just sit and think about ur relationship again and speak to ur spouse and if he does not listen, just take a bold step of answering back about the problem to the concerned person and do not take the whole responsibility of the entire family.let others also do their share of work. you just have to be firm with what you want in life or others will make ur life a real hell. so b bold and identify urself.have faith in yourself as well as in god. b positive . with best wishes