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Iam a victim of the mental agony given to me by my MIL.And she does achieve her goal by shattering my confidence.From day one of my marriage she started creating problems for me by plainly pampering my sisterinlaw(Jethani).Anything she does is a wonder of the world while what i do is shit.There are a number of things but the latest thing that is bothering me is driving.I learnt driving about 7 months back but due to her negative comments like you dont drive you might hit anyone etc.etc. i left it.Now with much effort i put in i have started it all over again just for the sake of my child she stands down everyday and comments look at your jethani even she has started driving but she doesnt even require a driver she drives the car so beautifully and confidentally why dont you throw away this driver and learn doing it on your own.on top of it whenever i take out my car mySIL,her children stand out to judge my skills as though some circus is going to start.When i get back even then they just stand and watch me and look sarcastically,i know that i should ignore them but i get hurt and depressed and my mind is preoccupied all the time with their thoughts and their faces,i dont know how to overcome this weakness,driving seems to be like climbing a mountain to me,i know that breaking my confidence is their ultimate aim but iam not able to control my thoughts,i cry a lot.on top of it my sisterinlaw had kept some prasad sort of a thing on my car which is even giving me more negative feelings since we are not at all on talking terms.Please help me friends i have no one to discuss my feelings,sometimes i feel to run away or die as i cannot face these faces,pl. help......iam very sad. dia replied. Harini, Hope this is what ur problem mentioned in another board. Just gave reply there wishing it would solve ur problem to some extent. helper replied. hi,
i agree to \" any name\"
1.u have to be bold and dont let ur confidence bow down in front of them c'mmon ....be a sport if they are hitting u ..u also hit them as if they never know u hitted them(diplomacy )
2.yes i agree lure the kids always talk to them having a smile onur face \" u can sometimes say that ur mom is good driver but i m learning as u ppl support me then after sometimes they will stop standing there for judging u\"
3.when ur mil say something that ur sil is good u can say \" yeah she is elder many years of learning when i will be of her age i will be also very good\" tit for tat
if she knit pick in ur food then say next time i will learn this recipe from u as u are the best cookof the world chaney key jahd per chadao yaar
she will stop doing that .
wat ever greches u have in ur heart dont show they just want to break ur confidence dont show that u are some dukhiyaritypes show that their bull.....things doesnot effect u at all.be happy
dont think much. any name replied. My dear frnd, i have been through the exact situation as u r passing through n i am just smiling that driving issue also raised in my life.
I understand u fully n the best ultimate solution is not to take tensions from these guys but give them tensions.
Dont remove the driver while driving urself.
I used to waited to drive myself till driver drove the car at a distance from home n the sarcastic look of all thees people . Then i was able to practice by myself. Now i can drive with full confidence.
One more thing ,if u can only , involve ur jethani's kids with u . These idiots are using them as to suppress ur confidence. You lure these kids by bringing gifts (cholotaes,pastries)for them while coming back from driving each time.
You know my mil used to encourage only my jethani's son for playing in my son's presence while my son of same age was very good for all such games. I took initiative n started to ask my son to teach his cousin cricket n all . After few times my MIL stopped doing all such stupid tricks. But i had to be there always to maintain my son's confidence.And after that i never left my son alone with MIL .
It takes long time in facing these people.I will not say ignore them because i know we cant so better to face them head-on cleverly.
Just a thought why people like u and me get depressed by such people who r not doing any good to us .These kind of jethani-saans r totally bull****.Treat them just like garbage.Nothing more.