Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

We are in abroad, my hubby is the youngest in his family of 4 brothers. The elder BIL is such a nut in his family. But unfortunately my husband's godfather is he.
Iam really irritated to the core now. whenever my husband calls him from here we have problems here.
Actually what happend is my hubby is taken the resposibilty of his father's debt. i donno y but i accepted somehow. in a family of 4 why shd younger brother alone be resposible. for this elder BIL has no answer and he does not bother to.
One wonderful thing now hap is:
Once my FIL was ill and for the cure my hubby does not have money since he was paying almost 25K evry month so BIL agreed for the expenses (20K)
Later it turned out like as if my hubby borrowed 20 K from BIL for his dad's cure( both are EK dad ke bache). this hap before our wedding.
And later all wedding cost was made by my hubby only. so we had pressure so we asked him to wait to get his 20K back. now we are also in pressure as still the loans are going so we are not able to give that still.( im not working and monthly budget is very tight for us clearign loans.
Now he gives pressure to give him back his money.
We are not saying no but wait for a month, but he says his wife is ill and has to take scan.
And since my hubby is more loved towards his brother, i really wonder how??
bcos he also sometimes feels irritated but does not show me, my hubby says he is his father after his dad.
i wonder how he can be like this.
And now my hubby wants me to get the money form my mom and give it to his brother. iam frutrated bcos of this. please give some suggestions friends.
Even if my BIL illtreats my hubby he is more attached, but BIL never understands my hubby's love towards him. From abroad we only have to call him and once he never called.
Moreover before our wedding my hubby's money goes to them as pocket money, later it stopped na? this itself irritates then it seems.. but all time my husband cant spend money for them na as they have their own family and he has double earning.
waiting for help. S S replied. Hi Pooja,

I completely agree with Chakrika, please don't bring the money from your mom not even as a loan.
Also as you said you do not work.. will it be possible for u to work there probabaly work visa is reqd, in case u have one please go ahead and contribute to your husband.
I can understand your situation where in its only your husband is paying the debts and ou people are sacrificing everything.
Probably whenever the debt gets over request your husband not to send the money or just request him to speak to other BILS about sharing the burden if not the elder BIL.
PLease do not have any sort of argument or something, in case u fell that the same is not welcomed by your husband do not force him but convince him to allow you to work so that atleast u have an extra earning to live as per your terms and be independent.
Thats all i can say.
All the best
Take care and keep posting.

Chakrika replied. Hey Pooja,

Don't worry.I am not sure what else to say.But my suggestion is don't get money from your mom and give.Then this might become a habit.And also may be you adjust to them y should your mother?