Relationships  Discussion Forum

Name: x

Myself and my sister were very close to each other till our marriage (that's what I thought). We had a very tough life and were brought up by our uncle as we had no parents. Naturally life was a bed of thorns till our marriage. I got married into a mediocre joint family with lots of in-law problems. She got married to a highly educated man and settled abroad into a nuclear family. Eventually my parents-in-law expired and I too managed to settle abroad and am now happy. The problem is right from my sister's marriage I find a huge change in her behaviour. She did not even visit me even once neither speak to me properly over the phone. She exaggerates everything about herself and every time it is myself who takes the initiative to call her and speak to her. Even her emails have no depth. Even on important occassions it is I who have to call her (but never once she takes initiative). After speaking to her I still have a vague,empty feeling and regret spending money to speak to her everytime. She had been riding on a high horse even with others. At some point she was totally ignored by all but she eventually became sober and is now tolerated by all. People say that it is her husband who is responsible for her behaviour. But her behaviour is icy cold even whenI speak to her in her office/mobile etc. when her husband is away. Besides if a man is instigating his wife against her siblings isn't it the duty of the wife to see things through? Or is all relationship prior marriage a absolute zero after marriage wherein a person simply isn't the person anymore? My own inlaws tried to poison against my sister but it did not work. My sister simply seems to have turned icy cold. I feel I am talking to a total stranger. After my marriage I used to convey to her my inlaw problems as I thought I was close to her. My husband says that I should not have shared my dark problems with her as that could be the reason for thinking low about me. As she is my younger sister I have been tolerating her for many years always taking initiative to speak to her, advise her etc. My husband says simply ignore her. What is your practical advise? People who have faced this kind of problem please advise.

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