You are here: Home > Message Boards > Relationships >  Joint Family >Hi All

Relationships  Discussion Forum

 
Joint Family:Hi All
2006-12-22
Name: sss



Hi All,
I hope this MIL issue is for all of us in this world and that too in india especially,
We stay abroad and still no peace from my in - laws.
They call us often and after they call us we have issues here.
My husband has got 3 elder brothers and settled in india. They are not very well off but in a manageable position atleast to their own families now. But my husband is very much worreid abt all of them and particularly my in-laws.
i dont say its wrong but he is more towards them then our own family, he is not willing to save anything for us but he want to build a home with all technologies to his parents now in india.
i will agree to this if we are settled but no way for that. we still repay a loan of his father's and we are still towards that.
And more of this now also its our resposibility to send money to in-laws monthly. His brothers will never bother abt this. And the wonder is my FIL gets his pension to lead a family well enough now also. After paying his loans, sending money for monthly expenses they still want from us to trip around. And my MIL always wastes lot of food even its gud, she will prepare a lot for 2 of them and not use that for next meal time also and will start do new things again.
when i was with them i used to eat the leftover for my next meal but how much can i?
And it will go to dustbin. i always worry abt this those days. Now its out of my sight atleast.
And now my husband says he wants to keep them with us here or if they dont like the modern culture here he is planning to go back to india for them and u know one thing we havent expanded our family due to loan of his father's still.
i donno what to do?
His brothers also keep on nudging him for something or other like they want things from abroad.
Normally elder brother will do such things for family, here opposite occurs.
his brothers didnt study much and in his family my husband only studied properly. so obvioulsy my In-laws call him for money, and they don realise that my husband has taken over the loan of my FIL and we are repaying it. we still have more to repay, so even in abroad we have our expenses correclty. Not a penny more not a penny less situation.
In india i wonder will there be any expense more than 10,000 for a month for 2 people. (All the neccessay medical expense are given by my FIL's office to the treating hospitals)
That also never satisfies them. i donno what they do, and if i ask my hubby to control their expenses, he says \";they have not enjoyed early so don stop them now\"; , but there is a limit na?
i really dont understand what to do?
Also whenever they call they ask for something or other. Like they want to go somewhere or to their daughter's place and visit her. And now my MIL has started asking to shift the house since she don like it and one another expense.
Please suggest me something friends?
what shd i do in such position?
And my hubby wants to keep a full time maid for then to cook and clean, but since they are more orthodox kind nobody remains for a long time.
My MIL will start to nag the maid.
so this will never work.and the most wonder is my hubby's elder brother is staying just in the same apartment where my in-laws stay and no more caring for them, but my in-laws wil help them with the money we give them.
Please dom mistake me that iam giving a long msg, iam writing my inability to what to do?
please suggest something how i should i be in thsi kind of situation.
Subscribe to this conversation Reply Anonymously


 This message has not received any replies yet. Why don't you post a reply!

All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic :
Hi All


Subscribe to this conversation! All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic :
Hi All


Subscribe to this conversation! All tips on Relationships
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic :
Hi All

Thanks for subscribing
You are already a member, please login to subscribe

------ OR ------

Expecting Parents
Parents of Babies
Last 7 Posts of this Board
RE:sex in joint family
Don't think too much .its common Nowdays... - Deepika [View Message]
RE:RE:sex in joint family
Wish to know one real person... - Dippy [View Message]
Arrangement with inlaws
Hi Everyone,
I am about to get married soon and I want suggestion regarding a certain living arrangement that me, my to be husband and in-laws are thinking about to maintain peace as well as be available for each other.
We are confused as to if we should live in the same house and different floors or we should stay in separate apartments in the same apartment s... - Anupama Singhal [View Message]
RE:RE:sex in joint family
One should take care. It's private. ... - Dippy [View Message]
Should a single man live with his mum in India?
I am a man in my late 40s and I have lived abroad in USA for the past two decades. I never had any interest in marrying or having kids so I never married. Recently my Dad passed away and my mother will be alone. I have made enough money to retire comfortably but because I am used to the American lifestyle I can't live in India. Recently my relatives have started saying tha... - Venkat Dabri [View Message]
RE:sex in joint family
It's very common in joint family.just ignore... - Minal [View Message]
I am Newhere
Hi all , I am newbie to this forum...hope you all feel well... - Lucamia Ava [View Message]