Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi!
arre yaar these mil have made life miserable.i m married for 3yrs..n was in dubai.my mil stayed here with my sil.but wen i came here for delivery,evrythng was gng fine.It was wen my hubby decided to leave dubai n cum bk to india..my mil's attitude changed.I became a mother of a child n she used to shout on me which i dint like at all.she used to tell me to do evrythng n she herself used to go out in neighbourhood n sit..cum hme eat n sleep in afternoo.,again get up go out n cum by 7.after cuming at 7..again she wud say me to cook n she wud go away..i did for few days but it was too hard as i cudnt do both;look after baby n cook.
after tat i protested.she never used to help me.if she used to tell me sumthng..i also wudnt leave her.this went on n on.i started wrking due to these tensions leaving my baby at my moms place..till date i leave my baby there.she has no affection for the baby too.on sat&sundays..she wud sit wid doors closed.ysterday she told her frnd to convey evrythng to my granny who is 80 yrs n not keeping well abt me tat i dnt do nethng at hme.
now tell me hw wud i wrk at hme wen i have to get up n drop my baby to moms place..n then go to office?again in evening i go there n pick my baby n cum bk.we had a fight reg this ysterday.i told my hubby y she says all these thngs to others??n i wnt leave tat woman who conveyed this msg at my place.she said its my fault,u dnt have to say nethng to her.once she met my moms frnd..n told her tat i dnt do household wrk.i told this to my husb ysterday tat she had even told her.wat if i tell all these things to her frnds??my mil got irritated n said tat i m insulting her.am i??is this the life i wanted to live??am i really happy??
wat do i do??i have even stopped talking to her n i told this on her face not to talk to me.i really hate her.
plzz help!!suggest me wat do i do??
thnx

kashish replied. hi frnds!!
U know wat is the best way i found...i leave early frm my place for wrk wid my kid n cum by 9:30 in nite at my in laws!!u know sumtimes i feel tat i shud not even have offs on sat&sundays b'cauz of her!!
n above all she says i m happy bcauz i dnt have to cook..but wat i ask is where is the time left for me to cook??on holidays i give her evrythng frm breakfast to dinner.but she still complains.wen my hubby told her tat he will not leave her frnd who conveyed the message at my place she defends her saying it was her fault tat she told her n this hasnt happnd for the first time.my hubby says take care of her.wud i like to tk care of her??she just needs money frm us tats it!!i m really fed up frm her. jaya replied. Hi Kashish i too experince the same problem which you are facing the only differnce is that you are able to work(job)while i had no choice as to be house wife as my parents live far off and they dony possess a good health.my MIL is very very manipulative and on top of it my sil they had made my life miserable ,we had some renovations done at home when the laborers would work they would cunningly send my 2yr old son to play alone in that area so that something happens to him while these too along with her son(my SILs)would sit with their doors closed.i used to hold my baby in one hand and cook from the other still these shameless people never felt guilty.My MIL always creates a major differnce between the two of us that is we daughterinlaws.when my son was about to be delivered she made it clear to me that why did you conceive in the first place if you have it is your whole and sole responsibility to look after your child and that she wouldnt look after for a minute,she says i have have looked after my sons that was more than sufficient.she likes talking to men,bitching,going to kitty parties,shopping extravagantly(on our expenses)and then talking shit about me.i wonder if such people think about karmas or doesnt their conscience prick.may be god will punish them for their deeds. Swathy replied. U just ignore whatever she complaints abt u . Pretend as if u r not afftected for her talks.

U shld nt have said like \" dont talk\" , thats ok . but still u try to talk only formal talks like have ur food ? what happened to that serial etc. If u r not talking to her , ur hubby may feel bad . and its not good also being at home & not talking each other. For that u no need talk with 100% hearted luv.

U r working so u wont find much time for arguing with them, so be busy . Whaever time u have try to spend with ur kid.

In case if she tries to fight with u . U just take ur kid and go to the other room and play. Dont react whatever she ssaays. u can politely try to tell her that U dont have time for argueing with her & senti words like I got 3 to 5 hrs only to be with family in the eveniong , in that time y v need to fight & spoil our mood. V dont have any prob( money, etc ) & let us live happily.

Not wrong in doing this like u caring for her health . If she has sugar get T w/o sugar and prepare snacks for her diet like that. Prepare something spl for her and tell I prepared for my MIL. get a good saree/gold and gift to her. They r all aged they may feel insecured sometimes so u show that u care for them. If she realises that how caring DIL she wont disturb u . even then dissturbs u u just try to not get into arguement. and keep carring for her.
sangini replied. This is Bhartiya Tradition MILS are to abuse there was one of the Forum member she mad a nice Quote on MILS well i guess it was right ur MIL will never change no matter wha u try, so Mast Raho enjoy karo don't give her any importance she wants u to shout and waste ur energy she wants some time pass, so don't do that just don't waste ur enery when u think she is just a Sadistic person, go on and work and enjoy see as it is u are working full day away from ur child and hubby there is lot to catch up when u all return home, why bug yourself and hubby poor even he must be having a hard day in the office u will gain nothing with there arguements with hubby and he will feel like a sandwich and will try to escape from home in the even in this way u will loose his intrest at home generally males avoid involvment in these petty matter, tell ur mom and grand mother no to bother with all what ur MIL as asking the people to convey them these ladies also belong to same category and why not your MIL is making TAMASHA so they are enjoying so don't worry your look a smart women behave as if ur least bother don't talk to her but don't spoil ur, ur hubby's and kids evenings and weekends this is what ur MIL wants as far as ur hubby loves and undwerstands u just enjoy and be happy don't care be sensible... I know to say and do is lot of difference but u know we all young Indian couples waste our young age in TERI MAA AND MERI MAA and then don't realise we loose that age and become old so enjoy these days...

all the best