Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi all,
Like you all ppl , I have faced problems of MIL ..but as of now my husband is good..i have been married for 1 yr and we had some fights regarding family matters from inlaws which are now cooled down..but he says many times that he wants to see improvment in me and if I donot show it ,he would give a divorce..these improvements he expect are coming outof depression soon,improving energy ,to be more positive ..I understand his concern ..but is it a way to give fear of divorce everytime..?? is it normal..Or is he really willing to give it now ? We do not have much problems between us..but he hates being average and not like when i behave or live like average ppl..same depressed life..
I get afraid sometimes why he talk such extreme thing very oftenly..I told him that i will improve but I donot like the way he scare me of divorce..I am now feeling that i donot know him better..or may be he is not happy..or simply wants divorce..or forces me to improve in any way ...
Plz help if neone knows what does this type of behaviour indicates? Preeti replied. Tell your husband that he's not helping you in any way by threatening to divorce you every now and then...

I think he has gotten in the habit of saying it and doesnt realize how much he's hurting you...

I suggest you go ahead and improve yourself...try to make yourself more attractive..involve yourslef in so many activities that there is no time to get depressed..make atleast one new friend this week...try talking to more people - in the library, grocery store, mall...anywhere...

And then the next time he says the D word again..tell him that before he does that, you might think of giving him a divorce because its really irritating to hear being divorced for trivial reasons every now and then...I bet he'll have a fright..

My hubby used to sometimes say that in our first fights..and then one day I told him, that if he doesnt change his behavior, I might be the one divorcing him..so he better remember that! He was quite shocked..because he had never expected to actually face the words that he kept on throwing so casually at me...it made him realize how hurting they were..after that we promised to each other that we would never ever say that... howsoever bad our fights become...and its been true to this day...

Hope this helps... Madhu replied. Hi!
I also scare my husband saying that I will divorce him. But I do not mean it really. Its just a way though a little harsh of saying thatb please improve.If its said often then it loses its value.
Nothing to fear about. elena replied. hi dear,Most of the men scare their wifes with devorce.
But do you know - noone like to live with someone who is in depression, who is always sad and angry.
Why you dont try to take more care of yourself - to be always pretty when he is back from work, to talk about nice things with him, to make plans for your future together. Just show him how happy you are with him. He will be happy too - when you meet him on the door with smile on your face. Try this

Elena