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Joint Family:My Son
2006-09-06
Name: old lady



Hi,
I am regular visitor of this site and needs some help from you all.
First about myself, I am working in a bank at a senior post and I got separated from my husband 20 years back. My son was just 6 year old at that time. I didn't re-marry since my world was all around my son. I worked hard against all odds (it was so diffcult for a single mother to live in those times). Thankfully my family supported me and my son also is very caring and helpful. He is 26 year old now and is working in an MNC as engineer.I am very proud that he has proved me right and succesful in his upbringing.
Now he wants that I should take retirement and should go with him to US. He is going there for 3 years.
The problem is that he doesn't want to get married. Everytime I ask him to get marry he told me that he doesn't want any one to come and create differences between him and me. Recently in our family my brother's son got separated from the parents after the marriage. They are living alone now and my son visits them regularly and take care of them. Now he is of the impression that all girls wants to live separately. Which I know is not True, but unfortunately I don't have any examples to show him.
I am very much worried about him. I wanted him to get married and settle in his life. Infact I thought that after my retirement I would open a social service centre and would help the old people. I don't want to go to US at this age. But when I tell him all this he says he will cancel his trip.
Please help me How can I convince him to get married and go to US with his wife and not with me.
I have seen him talking to one girl who is his colleague very often. I am open to love marriage also but when I ask him he laughs it out. Shall I call her home.
Sorry for long message and thanks for reading.
I am writing first time on a website so if there are any mistakes please ignore.

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2007-01-11
#1
Anonymous Name: abcd
Subject:  U R SO SWEET



Hello aunty,

well i have read your mail and i must say u are really a great lady.the girl who will get married to your son shall be very lucky.i was so happy to see that their is some lady who dosent think selfishly only about herself, but about the true happiness of her son.
See aunty no girl marries a boy and wants to illtreat her in-laws.All DIL as of what i feel want acceptance,love and care from the husband's family.Well few are lucky DIL in this matter. You have to explain your son that all girls are not same. i understand that he might be loving you very much, but then you can explain him better what is the importance of a spouce in life since you are the best person who understands.Till now like a good boy he has only loved one women in his life...YOU.Maybe he feels insecure that he might have to share his love now if a wife comes.
Aunty You are a very nice lady and i am sure u can handle this situation very well since you have managed things so well in life alone....that what i have sensed frm your mail.with time everything will be fine.with good people god always does good.

Do let us know when your son agrees to marry....hehee.
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2006-12-04
#2
Anonymous Name: PriyaPrabu
Subject:  Great maam



Ma'am,

U are such a nice person.Be proud ma'am there are so many girls here who wish their MILs are like you.I am one among them.Tak with your son and make him understand that marriage means only adding new relationship and more happiness.Tell him there is nothing to worry.concince him telling that u really want to see him as a responsible husband and a good father.Explain him that no girl comes into a family thinking of cerating some problems.
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2006-11-22
#3
Anonymous Name: Saba
Subject:  Hello



U r too good ma'am. I like yr thought. I hope u get best dil
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2006-09-08
#4
Anonymous Name: kuntala
Subject:  You are one good soul



I wish my mil was like you ? I wish you lots and lots of happiness.
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2006-09-07
#5
Anonymous Name: hp
Subject:  I wish u were my MIL



Hi aunty,

I dont know from where to start... but after reading ur mess .. i m so touched ... u r such a simple person... its like u hv told abt ur life in just simple 4 lines...
and one can feel it...

i suggest u should not call that girl.. may be she is interested but for ur son she is her frd only!

so first find out from ur son....
and u need not to give any live ex to ur son abt joint family and nuclaer family... u can tell him that all five fingures are not same...
if today someone from ur relation has got seperated than it is not just that girl is wrong... MIL & FIL somes does want to change... some mothers are too psseive... they even doesnt want to share his kitchen with new DIL (my MIL does) ... so there are so many prob...

and tell him... life has to carry on... may be these prob doesnt happen with us... when u get married and stay abroad... tell him u have done the best for him... now ur wish is to see grand children...
try to be little emotional with him..

ur son is i think bit lonely inside .. may be his father was not ard and he become extra sensisative for u...
try to settle him down...
bye
HP
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2006-09-06
#6
Anonymous Name: hema
Subject:  Is it real?



Are you real? or is it a story..but if you are real keep it up..if i was your bahu, i would wash your feet & drink that water & love you like my mom.not kidding!! or making fun of you..you are amazing..
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2006-09-06
#7
Anonymous Name: Horrible
Subject:  hai!



You sound too good to be real!!!!!!!!!
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2006-09-06
#8
Anonymous Name: abha
Subject:  I agree



Wow, you are really great Aunty. And I agree with what Ammu said \";hats off to you\";. Yes you should call that girl and talk to her and find out if she is interested in your son. I am not sure about your son since the way he is saying he doesn't want to get married it might take some efforts on your part.

I must say that you are truely a great person. Can you believe when my hubby was moving to US it was my mother-inlaw who wanted to come along instead. Now when we go for vacation she just feels that I should disappear and she and her son be left alone. When she visits me here she acts so funny, she completely ignores my existence and just wants to be with her son. Now with such a women which daughter-inlaw will be willing to stay. But I am sure with a person like you any daugher-inlaw will be happy.

Hope things will work out fine. Good luck.
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2006-09-06
#9
Anonymous Name: ammu
Subject:  explain him



Hi aunty,
First of all, hats of to you for bringing up your son as a sole parent. Explain him that you lived your life just for him and his happiness and that your happiness lies in seeing him have a family, and that you want to play with your grandchildren in your old age. Also, make him understand that marriage is neccessary for a man and that completes his cycle. Also, before calling your son's friend (girl) home and speaking to her, make sure that they are both interested in each other, otherwise, if your son treats her only as a friend, then just ignore it and seach a good girl for him.

All the best,
ammu
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