Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,
I have a very peculiar problem with my In-laws.my hubby beleives what ever his parents say.He is brought up in a spritual environment.He thinks those who dont think of God and dont chant the mantras or pray are not good persons...To tell about my self i belive in my religion and worship god and go to temples when ever i get time. but not like them sacrificing their precious time to do poojas.Our FIL starts the pooja by 8;30 and completes it by 12:30 and no one should eat the food unless final aarthi is done (even my kid has to wait until that) i 've to give her cookies or milk..even when i was pregnent this was continuing..I really get very frustrated.My FIL will get very angry those who eat with out completing the pooja.Now,as i am not like them they treat me differently and they blame my parents fo not bringing me up properly!!.My FIL had told my husband that the reason for not worshiping like them is i (my family) do BLACK magic(their imagination).So they ask my husband not to come to my parents home if at all not to eat any kind of sweets or juices(cause we mix something in that to take him our side)My parents doesnt know all this and when ever they visit they bring many sweets where no one touches it except me..i feel very bad and tried to explain my hubby that we ar not that type and my parents are very innocent..I REALLY DONT KNOW WHERE TO TELL THIS??? .Once i found out some yantra(coin kind) in his pocket when he was at my parents place and i asked him the reason??He said his dad had given it.That day i had very bad fight with him.I am with him for 5 years and he doesnt trust me and being educated(Software professional) he beleives in all those things just because his parents says.He replied me just to satisfy them he brought that yantra with him...The other day i bought a beautiful Fur toy for my kid and she was playing with it and the next day it was torn(My FIL has checked whether some black magic is kept inside) and this happened twice.I dont know whether he has any Physcological problem?? but my life has become hell.i cannot bring anything from my parents place and share it with my husband..nor they dont allow him to stay in my parents palce.how to solve this problem?very much shocked and confused cause my hubby is also involved in this drama... silver replied. Even this might work out dear!

Just start teasing and pulling his leg for his fears on black magic if my previous suggestion doesnt work...Just start nagging him eachtime he's visiting any friend or any relatives home ...So let him feel irritated and hemay think on it .And start wiyth ur kid..If he's going anywhere just say seriously..Oh, lets not send ourr kid they may turn him their side...like statements make him think on how odd it looks to have auch sentiments.But dont make such comments when ur kid is around because that innocent might feel that real .

In manycases men dont like to be trated as illetarates and sentimental so he mmight even stop thinking that way .And when his parents tell him such things u chuckle urself going in to ur rrooom and later 'oh whether ur father said u to be careful?thats good. Ok, little boy now u get that yantra again which might protect you...\";, Just make comments and he feel irritated.But initially he might scold you to not to tease buyt dearm, its 5years u r with him and u can take such freedom to tease him.
Keep on teasing it might work . silver replied. It is really bad to hear and probably u need to work on changing ur husband first.
Just tell him you are not going to bear it anymore if they keep doubting ur parents.Just infront of ur hubby cry and create scene when next time ur fil does such thingd like suspectig ur parents or tearing a toy. Ask ur Hubby whether he can do any such black magic to his daughter or his father did anything to his sisters or his grandfa to his aunts...anything like this whether he heard?
Tell him that ur parents dont have any need to turn soninlaw to their side for that they dont know any kinda black magic. If they would have known some magic or mantra already they would have done it atleast to make him listen his own wife that is leading life with him for 5years(its U ).Tell him that \";if my parents know any such I would have borrowed that mantra in order to change you to atleast to make you come out of this nonsence sentiments \";

This night ask him firmly and convey straight that enough is enough and u r not ready to tolerate their scrutiny and insults. U too have self respect and want to protect ur p[arents respect as he does with his parents.
Also, tell him that ur kids shdn't be bringing in such environment and they r gonna be humiliated in school/ college for stupid sentiments.

Just you have to convey your husband this. You may not change them now but u can change ur own hubby.Its already 5years and atleast u shd start now to work on him.
Take care dear, Communication is important to any problem, If you can talk straight forward and clearly, You can definitely make him to understand you.
All the best! Rukmini replied. I was contineously laughing..by reading your msg..oh god..these kind of people still exist in 21st century..hard to believe..i don't know what advice to give you other than move out?..have you ever asked your fil why the heck you parents do black magic to own daughter house?..so silly.. Ann replied. hey
i think your Fil is a crazy person. If someone believes in pooja, its not bad. But he can't force it on to other people. Not letting anyone eat till 12 pm is stupid. Whatever he thinks about you and your family, stop caring about him. Let him think whatever he wants to. But don't let your kids raised up like your husband. If they don't want anything from your parents place, tell them not to waste money. Stop worrying about your fil, if your daughter and you feel hungry, eat food. Let him be mad if he want to. If your husband becomes angry, tell him anyways his parents don't consider you as a family member, so why will you worry and remain hungry.