Relationships  Discussion Forum

dear Ann,the suggestion you gave is sensible.i tried to be friendly to my SIL but she is an arrogant lady thanks to the pampering by my MIL. all iam doing now is not talking to any of them but their sight gives me jitters.moving out is not so easy for us as it would be another financial burden on us.also we might lose on the little property which we have these people would just grab it.not speaking to my MIL is not making much of a difference to me as she throws huge tantrums by abusing my maid or the courier boy coming to my place.pl.suggest me what to do .is it right what iam doing Ann replied. dear seema
Do you and your husband depends financially on your in laws. If not, I will prefer to move out and loose some property. I know its pretty hard, but if your husband understand you then he will not have any problem in moving out. Till how long will you adjust with the people who don't even like to talk to you?
But if you guys depends financially on your inlaws, then you can't move out. Behave nicely with them. Avoid their activities and behavior towards you. Have your trust in God, you will surely have a good time . di bh replied. Hey It wont help much by being however nice to IL's they will always think about their own daughters .Will it really help if u stay near if they decide to give it to your sil anyway.would u really like to be in such disturbing environment.Instead if you stay apart u can enjoy your life and be peaceful too.Hey this is the same thing i will do once we go back to the city where my in laws live. its always better to be cordial while living far away then fighting while staying together.This is something me and my husband have decided. Madhu replied. I also have a very pampered SIL for which my FIL is responsible. She is a gynaec with 2 children and stays with my FIL. My MIL is no more. Till date my FIL takes care of her family expenses and her hubby visits her fortnightly once. Initially I was staying with my FIL. But due to tantrums of my SIL and his constant support of her we decided to move out. He has lots of property and my SIL has an eye on it.
But I firmly believe we have only one life and we should not waste it for such petty issues like property which we may only get after so many years of pain and frustration at in laws hands. Is it really worth? You have to set your priorities and be ready to face the consequences of the decisions you have made. My mother had advised me to stay with my inlaws but for me peace of mind is very important and that I would never get there.
If you have no other choice but to stay with inlaws then be firm. Do not let their abuse hurt u. Atleast do not show it on ur face. The more it is visible on ur face the more they enjoy it.Be indifferent to them. Enjoy with ur kids. Take them out to restaurants, hobby classes etc. Build ur social circle, pamper yourself, start thinking beyond them. Keep ur hubby happy.But certainly not give up or loose hope. Never cry infront of them.
I hope it works. It worked with me.