I get axious over any thing especially related to driving a car,signing an important document,applying for a passport,travelling or an a huge social circle. I have been an average student through out my life and i get easily pulled down by someones negative comments.Due to this fear i avoid doing the above things but somewhere in my mind i do regret that had i the courage to face these problems i could have been in a better place in life now.
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I get axious over any thing especially related to driving a car,signing an important document,applying for a passport,travelling or an a huge social circle. I have been an average student through out my life and i get easily pulled down by someones negative comments.Due to this fear i avoid doing the above things but somewhere in my mind i do regret that had i the courage to face these problems i could have been in a better place in life now.
UrFreind replied. Hi Nikita....
Solution to ur problem is to develop a high self-esteem. Ways to do this :
1. Start doing things for yourself.
2. Change your thought process. If you usualy live your life depending on what somenoe else plans for you then start changing this.
For ex: What about your evenings. DO you plan what you want to do to relax in th evening after a hard days work?? Or does someone else decide this for you OR do you just not do anything for relaxation??
I would suggest that you start thinking for yourself - like plan something that you want to do this evening. Include people around you to do this activity with you or then do it by yourself but decide that you want to do it no matter what and then do it.
Decide for yourself what you want in life by starting of with small things like the above ex. Gradually move to staking your claim on your life completely.
Idealy you should be the one choosing your clothes, what you want to eat, where you want to go, what you would like to talk to someone about or what you dont want to talk about.....you know small things like that first.
3. Start developing a hobby that you enjoy - you know many choice - learn dancing(classicalor otherwise), music, a musical instrument, knitting, sewing, jogging, walking, .....anything that you enjoy and do this as often as possible.
4. When you start this process then you should think about facing your fear about taking major decisions in ur life. You know when you are scared of something then for once just close your eyes and do what scares you. Face your fear head on. Then when you realise that signing a documment is not all that important you will feel better. You know life will not change because you stop doing what scares you - you are only limiting yourself.
So, my advice is to face your fears head on.
Get help by forning friends around your daily life who are compassionate and helpful. It is not an excuse that you cannot find such people around....if you cant find them then you need to be your best friend.
Face your fears and build your self esteem.
All the best
NEHA replied. Nitika try to get rid of this habit, or else with the length of time your regrets will grow,Try to do things that really make you scared like the ones you mentioned above unless you will practise you will never gain confidence u will always feel this regret, what makes u sacred that while carrying your passport you might loose it, then what will happen come on you some wise people had said \";60% OF THE TENSIONS WE TAKE ARE NEVER TO HAPPEN\";,there is people traveling every day abroad if all start thinking in this way we will all sit at home, don't do this to your self, you already have defined your points that make anxiety in your mind your half battle is won, becaue there many people who are not ready to acknowldge their weakness you are a brave person putting your problem in the forum so start thinking over each thing that makes you sacred like:
1) Driving are you scared of accident you might get hurt sitting at home.
2) passport might loose in you house may be misplaced, and even if it does there are provisions to get it back.
3) TRAVELING what makes you feel tensed the time the distance or imnportant documents make a folder keep all your valuable documents in it you can never loose it.
Like wise Nikita as you have listed your negative thoughts write positive approach or solutions of those problems agianst each one.
Its good to thinks pros and cons in life but too much negative drive makes a person less confident , depressed and sick i was an average student too but never got affected by any body's comments because people who have inferiorty complex will blame and comment on others people who are smart and intellegent and wise will never fall prey of these petty ways.
So girl get confident and get going they say \";ITS BETTER TO MAKE MISTAKES AND THEN LEARN RATHER THAN NEVER LEARNING AT ALL\";
2006-08-22
#1
Name: UrFreind Subject: Hi
Hi Nikita....
Solution to ur problem is to develop a high self-esteem. Ways to do this :
1. Start doing things for yourself.
2. Change your thought process. If you usualy live your life depending on what somenoe else plans for you then start changing this.
For ex: What about your evenings. DO you plan what you want to do to relax in th evening after a hard days work?? Or does someone else decide this for you OR do you just not do anything for relaxation??
I would suggest that you start thinking for yourself - like plan something that you want to do this evening. Include people around you to do this activity with you or then do it by yourself but decide that you want to do it no matter what and then do it.
Decide for yourself what you want in life by starting of with small things like the above ex. Gradually move to staking your claim on your life completely.
Idealy you should be the one choosing your clothes, what you want to eat, where you want to go, what you would like to talk to someone about or what you dont want to talk about.....you know small things like that first.
3. Start developing a hobby that you enjoy - you know many choice - learn dancing(classicalor otherwise), music, a musical instrument, knitting, sewing, jogging, walking, .....anything that you enjoy and do this as often as possible.
4. When you start this process then you should think about facing your fear about taking major decisions in ur life. You know when you are scared of something then for once just close your eyes and do what scares you. Face your fear head on. Then when you realise that signing a documment is not all that important you will feel better. You know life will not change because you stop doing what scares you - you are only limiting yourself.
So, my advice is to face your fears head on.
Get help by forning friends around your daily life who are compassionate and helpful. It is not an excuse that you cannot find such people around....if you cant find them then you need to be your best friend.
Face your fears and build your self esteem.
All the best
2006-08-22
#2
Name: UrFriend Subject: Hi
Nikita.....
if you need help come back to this board as often as possible and we will help you.
Whatever u do......start doing something about this today...NOW. Start deciding things for urself and see how things will change. This is not a BIG problem at all....
work on it a little and see how it disappears
2006-08-22
#3
Name: NEHA Subject: LIVE LIFE KING SIZE..............
Nitika try to get rid of this habit, or else with the length of time your regrets will grow,Try to do things that really make you scared like the ones you mentioned above unless you will practise you will never gain confidence u will always feel this regret, what makes u sacred that while carrying your passport you might loose it, then what will happen come on you some wise people had said \";60% OF THE TENSIONS WE TAKE ARE NEVER TO HAPPEN\";,there is people traveling every day abroad if all start thinking in this way we will all sit at home, don't do this to your self, you already have defined your points that make anxiety in your mind your half battle is won, becaue there many people who are not ready to acknowldge their weakness you are a brave person putting your problem in the forum so start thinking over each thing that makes you sacred like:
1) Driving are you scared of accident you might get hurt sitting at home.
2) passport might loose in you house may be misplaced, and even if it does there are provisions to get it back.
3) TRAVELING what makes you feel tensed the time the distance or imnportant documents make a folder keep all your valuable documents in it you can never loose it.
Like wise Nikita as you have listed your negative thoughts write positive approach or solutions of those problems agianst each one.
Its good to thinks pros and cons in life but too much negative drive makes a person less confident , depressed and sick i was an average student too but never got affected by any body's comments because people who have inferiorty complex will blame and comment on others people who are smart and intellegent and wise will never fall prey of these petty ways.
So girl get confident and get going they say \";ITS BETTER TO MAKE MISTAKES AND THEN LEARN RATHER THAN NEVER LEARNING AT ALL\";
2006-08-23
#4
Name: nikita Subject: thanks
i will definately work on it.thankyou friends
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