i have a 20 months old daughter who refuses to go to bed at night before 11:30... its too late for me and my husband as we have to get up really early next day for work. even if she doesnt sleep at all in the afternoon its the same story. even if she naps its the same story. Please give me some sugggestions for getting her to sleep earlier. its affecting my health.. due to lack of sleep... i could really use some sleep at night ... please help.... Mel replied. The 3 nights when she went to bed early... does she wake up at the same time as she did on those days ? The next mornings I mean ?

Wake her up early and tire her out.

And do one more thing... Even if she doesn' t sleep, or doesn' t feel sleepy... don' t let her roam about while you work in the house or eat... Instead, wrap up all house related work, turn off the lights and all of you go to bed by 9:15.

Sometimes my son' s schedule also goes up and down, so if he' s not sleepy, then we just abandon all work and lie in bed with the lights off... So, he takes about 45 mins or so, but then he drops off.

I can understand how frustrating it must be. My son won' t let us work when he is awake. My husband and I run our own company, and we have so much work to do at night, which we can' t do when he is awake. So, we HAVE to get him to sleep.

I' ve noticed one more thing abobut my son. If his routine slides even one day... then the next 3-4 days also, it carries on the same pattern. So, if she slept early on 3 nights... was there anything different on the 4th night...? Different... in her routine, noise level in your house ? guests ? excitement ? was she playing ? remove her from all playthings at dinner time. Even when my son' s eyes are red with sleep, if he sees his toys, he' ll just keep playing.

Don' t let her routine slide for even ONE day (if you can help it). If she refuses to sleep, take her for a walk in the pram or for a short car drive. (assuming she feels sleepy in the pram or car). That way her routine sleeping time does not get disturbed. And the next night, you may not have to take her down.

Just try this so that it establishes a fixed routine for about a month. After that she will self regulate.

One more thing... give her milk and breakfast EARLY... condition her stomach to get used to an early breakfast. This way, she' ll wake up early as she will be hungry. And will feel sleepy earlier.

All the best. Don' t give up and don' t lose heart. We will try and change her routine. It has to work eventually. It may take a week, two weeks or two months, but it WILL change. Mel replied. You have not mentioned what time she wakes up. My son wakes up at 6:30 or 7 a.m. every morning. As a result, he usually naps for 3 hours in the day and goes off at about 9:30 at night, or if he misses his daytime nap, he' s off to bed by 7 p.m.

This is the self regulatory mechanism for most babies. Since you haven' t mentioned what time she wakes up, and you say that she goes to sleep at 11:30 every night, I' m assuming that she wakes up late.

If that is the case, that' s where your solution lies.

First, try gently waking her up about half an hour earlier than her normal waking time.

Second, don' t give her a night bottle. If she has one, then she will not wake early out of hunger, but will continue sleeping.

Third, offer her an early dinner. By 7 latest. Then, after that nothing sweet. Instead offer her some warm milk, and wind down her routine. It may be hectic for some nights, but this will surely make her go to be earlier. Atleast by 10 if not earlier.

Another few things you can do are:
Make sure she is active throughout the day. My son goes down twice a day for 1 1/2 to 2 hours each time. So, he runs around, screams, yells, and gets really tired. So, when he comes up, all he wants is a wash and some rest.

Send her down to the garden at about 4 p.m.... with a friend, a maid, a relative... and let her play and run around for a good 2 hours. After that, bring her up, offer her some water and a light snack. Give her a nice warm wash. Then by 7, a proper dinner, followed by some warm milk and bed. Even if she doesn' t sleep, let her lie in bed. Keep the noise and activity level in the house low at that time.

Once she starts waking earlier and playing around a bit more, you will find her feeling sleepy much earlier. Wish you all the best. And let me know if her sleep pattern improves.