Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hey all,
I am confused about the situation i have.my sil stays in in laws house, since her husband stays away from her for job purposs and more over her kids can go to better school.my husband being considered as earning in $$$'s sending them monthly expenses, which is absolutely fine with me.but what irritates me is my sils attitute.she talks,dominates my husband like her husband,i don't talk with her since she got a big mouth.only diffrence she shows between her hubby and mine is she doen't sleep with my hubby.I can't say anything to my hubby b'coz he thinks i don't like her & i am trying to fill his ears about her.now every time when he calls her , all she talks about him is her son's education, she expects him to take responsibility for her son's education.she has big plans for sending him to expensive schools which she expects my hubby to pay.and i am scared my husband might pay too..please don't get me wrong, i am not against helping education for any needy student.i feel why pay her son , since she is not nice with me??since i am also earning..i don't mind giving money to any ashram for education purposs.but not for her son??..please let me know am i thinking wrong??..if wrong why??..my relation with her is so bad, she & my mil try to separate me from my husband.as usual they talk very nice in front of my hubby like other smart in laws. Neetha replied. Hi Swarna,

I totally understand ur feelings. It is normal human tendency to feel like this.

There r few options

(1) Talk with ur husband amd make him understand
(2) Be a silent pectator and live with it
(3) Tackle this in a different way like buy a BIG house so that major protion of ur hubby's salary goes in loan, so that he realizes the need for the money u r earning. Then u can put a stop for all this.

All the best
Neetha a friend replied. I completely agree with u.Every woman demands & deserves her own space after marriage.She can include her PIL,BIL& his family in her world but definitely not a married SIL!!!!!!EvenI have similar crisis in my life.My SIL sent her son to stay with us for studies five yrs ago.Now when his is a last yr of post graduation,she has sent her doter for five yrs to study!!!!!!Not only that,her doter will b studying medical(BDS),which obviously means v have to bear the expenses!!!I have to kids doter is 8 & son is 5 yrs old.I m expecting my third baby,which is due in oct.I m fed up of all these extra responsibilities especially when my PIL have refused to share these responsibilities!!!!!BY the way,my PIL stay on ground floor with 2 servants for household chores!!They have 2 bedroom floor which they refuse to share as it interferes with their routine!!!!!& I m expected to manage my floor with my three kids,hubby,myself & my SIL kids!!!!As for hubby he is best hubby in the world,but when it comes to his side of family,he is an EMOTIONAL fool,surely at the cost of his own wife & kids!!!!! this problem has NO solution,v just have to bear with a HAPPY face.Best of luck!!!!
Sumeet replied. This is very tricky situation and you need to act really really smart. Plan a holiday trip with your husband and talk to him. ask him quesations like what is your importance in his life and what is his commitment for you.
The only option is to get seperated. ask him to find a job in some other town or tell him straight that you will not live for any more days and this problem will kill you and is slowly killing you ... tell him to take a break and give him some time as well which is your right..explain him stuff and ask him when do you expect to give a peaceful life...try to make him understand things and make sure you do not burst out...practice speaking calmly and make sure you stay calm and throughout make him calm as well...
This is in good faith and I have no bad intends...may god bless your life
all best wishes
Sumeet