Hi there,

I am Sonia, 4 1/2 months pregnant and now days i am working as a S/W eng. in Bangalore India.

As my hubby has plans to come to US in other 2 months n i m due in Dec. So not sure whether i should accompany him or not .

So want some body already there to guide me and help me in taking this decision, i really want to come there with him but not sure about the medical problems , how to find a doctor there and what other things i need to take care.

Could you please help me.

Waiting eagerly to listen from ur side.

Thanks and regards,
Sonia Malik
Sonia replied. Yeah, it's my first baby and really and my knowledge about baby care is novice but still i know emotionally i can't do anything alone without my hubby here as i m emotionally very much depenedent on him.

Don't know what to do so still keeping my fingures croseed :(

Sonia Sonia replied. Hi all,

Thanks a lot for ur suggestions, i will check the things mentioned by u people with my hubby and update u accordingly with the insurance plans and other things, then may be i can trouble u people again for further suggestions :) :)

Till the time what we both know is that it is going to be a long term trip for him at least for 2 yrs and place can be Chicago or North Carolina, please let me know if anyone of u r staying in these states.

Rest info I will definitely update u guys ..

Thanks again for the help and advice.

Sonia
reshma replied. Hi Sonia..
i agree with archie that having good insurance is necessary or else the doctor's expenses are heavy and the other expenses are also a lot ...
but one more important point is that u will need someone else from ur family as well if u r thinking of delivering ur baby in the US ( ur mom or ur mom in law) ....doing this only with the both of u will be very heavy for ur husband ..and being new there...coz he will have to do everything alone ...
and i am in toronto and have stayed in the Us for a nearly 2 1/2 yrs and i have seen the difficulties women face when they decide to do this alone ...so if u have anybody coming there to help u out then u can go ahead and come here even in the 7 th month coz i have asked the doctor about travelling ...coz i will be coming back to india for my delivery and will be travelling in the 7th month ....only u have to take certain care while travelling ....
like take small walks during the flight and drink fluids and eat small snacks ..., and seat at the front seat where u can spread ur legs and be comfortable...coz my doc told me the same thing ....

hope this helps u ..... Archie replied. Dear Sonia,
It's good time travel when you are around 5 months.
No airlines will have restriction.

If your husband will get an insurance that covers pregnancy and delivery then your visit is worth otherwise a whole lot of expenses.

you definitly will get the best treatment with right Dr. as they care more here than in India. Sorry to hurt anyone elses feelings. In India many Drs. care for money than patient. Here the same but they get that from insurance and Drs. are always worried on patient sueing them if they do wrong thing, so Dr. will never or unlikely treat you wrong.

If you have insurance then its' worth otherwise keep some $20,000 or more than that for remaining pregnancy, given you have no complications in pregnancy. Each visit cost here more then $225 as Drs. fee and treatment is different.

Also you won't get help of anyone and your husband will be in trouble as to concentrate at work or with you and baby.

Except emotional crisis you will miss nothing in India. If you trust in your Dr. then likely to get right decision on the last moment and best treatment. I would have to recommend to stay in India with family, you need each one the moment you deliver baby, speaking my own experience.

I agree that US Drs. have more instruments and do proper justice still, you don't end up there, all story starts at home with baby and there is a whole lot of work. Your husband might not be able to do all.

Good luck with decision.
Archie ck replied. Hi Sonia,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Is this your first baby? I can understand your feelings. I live in NJ, USA. You can consider the following points for deciding what is good for you.

1. Where is your husband going to visit in US and how long is his stay?
If he comes to someplace with good indian population you can make friends with neighbour indian ladies, enquire abt the gynec, hospitals, etc. They will be helpful too at th time of need(again it depends on your luck how good neighbours you get). If it is a short stay you have to think whether you can take so many big changes in a very short time with the baby.
2. Does he know to drive and does he have International Drive Permit?
If this is his first visit I guess he won't be driving car in US. Here it is a absolute necessary. You might have frequent doctor visits in the last trimester. If you both are okay to take a cab(which will turn out to be expensive anyways) it is fine. Otherwise he might have to drive you to the doctor, to the hospital etc. Otherwise he should have very close friends in the city you visit who can help you guys with their car(which you can't expect all the time-people here are all very busy with their own schedules).
3. How much time he can give for you if both of you come to US?
Initially he will hv to dedicate his whole time for the work and you'll be left all alone here at the apartment. For the doctor appointments, delivery and help after that, you might need a lot of his time. If you can manage taking a cab all by yourself for doctor appointments, it is very good. We usually call either parents during delivery to help us out. First time mother's knowledge about baby care is novice so I would say it is better to have some experienced mother nearby. If your husband can cook, go to work and take care of you for a month after your delivery you guys can manage. If you are going to handle everything yourself it is way too tough. If your mom or mother in law can come to US and help you during delivery, then you can manage.
4. What kind of health insurance he will get here? How is the coverage for the delivery and hospital stay?
I guess you know in US health insurance covers for the expenses in US unlike in Inda where you pay your doctor from your pocket. Some insurances have some limit for the coverage. You have to be careful. Usually they are good. You can go to their site(search on google) and find out their policies.

I can't think of anyother factors(pregnancy cloud :-) ). Let us see what other girls have to say. Think about the points that I mentioned. Talk to your husband about these and see what he says.

I guess airlines will let you travel till 8th month with a doctor certificate. One of my friends came to NJ in her 7th month of pregnancy-it was 5 years back. She called her mother in law to help her out during delivery. They could manage with everything.

Childbirth moment is something both husband and wife should enjoy together. Missing the husband during delivery will be terrible I feel. Holding the newborn in your hands with your husband and enjoying that moment together is the finest gift of marriage. It is once a lifetime moment for new parents.

Whatever the decision you make I'm sure it will be the best for you. If you are coming to US, let me know where and when.

Best Wishes,
CK Shikha replied. Hi Sonia,

Though I am not in USA but still thought that before you get their replies I should tell you what I feel.

First, I think you should consult with your doctor that will you be in a position after two months to travel this long a journey?

Second, I doubt that airlines will let you travel at that stage.

My personal opinion is that you should now avoid this long a journey. Deliver your baby here and then go. Here in India you will have help from all your sources. There you will be all by yourself. I don't think at this stage you will be able to adope the culture and practices out there. Though in US all facilities are readily available but still they all go by rules and regulations. If you miss out on something you might land up in trouble and will be helpless at that stage. Your husband will be running all around to organis those things. And you might feel sad.

I am not trying to discourage you but trying to say what I feel. May be i am totally wrong. May be things are much easier and simpler than here. Since I have never been there so I do not know. Lets see what other board members from US have to say on this!

Take care,