Relationships  Discussion Forum

HI,
First of all i will intoduce myself....i am 22 yrs old housewife..got married last yr may 03 did my graduation...my problem is my mil some times talks that my parents doesnt that much take care of them she used to complain abt that issues before to my hubby.. these they are okay my problem my hubby supports me in our isseues adn he loves me and cares me lot but when it comes to their parents he say that his mother more to him than me...i want to make him realise that i am also important to him to his rest of life we dont have kids yet...some suggest after u get a kid he will understand everything and take responsibilites at everything abt u also...but i dont htink that will happen if i tell to him tha tu mother and u sis told this to me which hurted me then he says that they dont mean in that way and he cools me he supports them a lot sometimes and fights with me we are happy when ever we dont involve the things abt parents we are very cool but i cant bare if he say anything abt my parents and me and i start fight with him and he also raises alot but we are cool after 5 mins..and another problem is that i wanna do a job for that i have to practise v.b and oracle..but i couldnt study it i feel like sleepy when evre i start reading i want to know how get concentrated to studies ..
thanks to all.....
and lisenting to my sutti probs..
thanks again
PRL replied. Hi Swathi,

May be I am too late in replying to your problem but feel like writing to you. I understand your problem.You are very young and these husbands are always mama's boys and don't think that you too have parents like his.Since they get used to living with his parents for so many years they care much about their parents first and since the wives come from outside they will not have a mind that she is all alone here with nobody's support and he is the one who has to support you in his family.He has to justify both you and his parents.But he feels guilty before his parents when he supports you.Here they are all doing mistake and hurting the wife's feelings.You ask him to think himself in your situation once and feel how it would be.Concentrate on your studies and try to get a job and be independent.Don't give all your salary to him.Give some and deposit the rest in your name in the bank for your future use.We should not trust these guys completely.Don't be afraid to his parents.Ask him to seperate from his parents and you two live seperately.Now a days joint families are a big failure.Newly wedded should start a new home after marriage.Then only their relationship will be healthy and flourishing. jkl replied. You are very young, just finished up your graduation, as you were still a college student you got married. And marriage is nothing but bindings, you are tied up in a relation, in lot of responsibilities, large web of relatives and too many compromises. Your husband probably older than you by a few years, loves you that is a good thing.

The problem is that perhaps you have not lived your life fully as a youth and independent person (with no bindings and your parents money ). When things are going good it works for you, but when some thing wrong (in your point of view) happens you get irritated. That was not supposed to be a marriage which you dreamt of !!!