Relationships  Discussion Forum

dear all,
i am married for allmot 6 yeas now.my priblem is that my husband consider his parents as god adn thing that what ever they say is truth and correct .i live away from my inlaws but distance is no problem for them.tehy say all kind of things,so taht my hubby get angry on me .
only a fewmonths ago they came to live with us and taht too only for a few month,but with those few months they have made my life an hell.my husband doesn;t loe me any more and he has also started to hit me snd best me.what ever i say,he becomes angry.they have told many lies about the things that i never did or said taht is the reason why he so angry with me now.now i really don't like liing at all and the only easonwhy i am going on is for my little boy.i really want my son to have a normal life but now i am afraid taht the fights between me and my husband is going to have a negative impact n him ,so i am really worried.

lov
ria
Inna replied. Hi Ria,

I can understand what you are going thru but getting beaten up everyday is not good for you or the baby. If you are in US you should know that you have rights. Your husband can not hit you whatever the reason. If he does that again call 911. Give him a warning first that if he hits you again you are going to call the police and still if he does that call 911. Also, get in touch with some asian women's organization in the area you live in. Some of the very famous ones that work in US are Maitri, Saheli, Narika, Sakhi. If these are not there in your area you can always search on internet for such organizations and get in touch with them but do not take the beating for granted.

Another thing I would say is do not provoke your husband. If he is not in good mood just keep quite and let him come back to senses before you put your point forward. Heated arguments never lead to any conclusion because brain doens't work there ... only egos do. Don't give up that easily, it is a phase and will pass pretty soon. There is nothing you can do to change your ILs. Husband isn't going to change much either if he hasn't changed in 6 years. I would say get out of the house for a walk with your baby when your husband starts the yelling.

If you are working that is the best way to forget about the tensions and if not go take a break ... visit your parents for a month or two. He just needs some time to settle down again.

Be strong! Give him some time to come back to normal and do not react to whatever he says. Sheetal replied. Staying together while your husband hits and abuses you, or when u fight, is much worse for your child. it is better u leave your husband. there should be love and peace at home. of course living with your husband will have a huge negative impact on your child. i know a boy who grew up like that, he was so disturbed, fared very badly in his studies, and is very rude to his mother bec he grew up thinking she is nothing, since his father alwasy treated her badly. so he also treated her badly. this may not always happen, but your child will not be balanced.