Dear Hetal and other experienced Moms..

Need your help urgently.
My husband and I were in the US with our 11 month old girl ever since she was born. We are now back in India for the past 2 weeks. Next week both of us have to join back for work here in India. We had planned for my parents or in laws to be with us while we went for work. Unfortunately, our kid refuses to be held by them. She is very sociable - plays peekaboo, does shake hand, waves good bye, smiles, laughs with them, but simply does not want to be held by anyone other than her father and I.

Please suggest how I can convince my baby that her grandparents are \";safe\"; and that she can go to them happily.
Need your advice urgently, pls help!!

Hetal replied. at 11months,its quite natural to behave like this.
you can do :
1. let your parents be present when you are involved in baby care, like changing diaper, brushing, changng clothes,bath time, applying creme and etc,,let them be present on day 1.
2. see your child acceptnce to them, and dpending on that, decide for day 2, where in your elder or guardian will assist you in giving things making sure tht your child sees it...
or let themoffer your child a good toy or a massage with creme etc or feed your child his fav food or offer your child something that your child doesnt notice who offered and when your child takes it,,you tell him that see it was dada who gave you,,because you wont be present next to him,,he will realize as soon as he sees the face ! or just good pampering with their hand on their head,,,kids love grandparents touch esp when pamperd on head,,,dont react nething,,give smile when your child looks at you.take your child hand and give a hi fi to your elders,,,and give them an introduction that these are the people who knows all these sweet things and when you do it, they will love it too !
3. dpending on his further acceptnce,,leave them once a while,,not more thn 5mins,,with them and see how he reacts,,if your child cries for you, be ready for him to be there,,at the same time, let your elder carry your child and you be present,,saying hellow,dear what happened,,see this is nana or dada and likewise,,talk to him being as much patient as you can,,and if you see him crying hard, take him and settle him first..sometimes, kids keep crying, just because they are crying,,and stopping them is needed,,take her out of their site and play in other room.
since your elders will be staying with you,,its quite likely that it will take tme for your child to accept them,,,everymomring your child wakesup, greet him with good morning and take him to your elders and have thr habit of sayng good morning,,nevermind if he happens to cry,,just greet and thn take her along with you..
or just leave her alone in thr sleeping area or where they are sitting,,see her responses,,and tell your elders that your child just takes times to familiarze with people,,
all of sudden if your parents will hold the baby,,he might feel as if he will be taken away by them, and might fear to go to them,,so avoid such an incident,,instead tell them that be around them,,call your child from distance,,play hide n seek,peeakaboos, and just give hifi and come back to you,,and such funny little games,,,
let your child playarea near to where your parents or elders are sitting and let him do their work,,,let your child take an initiative to come forward and socialze with them,,they will only because child knows it well that this person is sitting here and is not going to pick me up and such fears,,,so he will more comfortable in takng an initiative.
if your goal is to make your child used to your elders so that they can stay back and take care of your child,,offerng more and more opportunties to your child with incidents, like involving them in your daily chores near your child, esp when child is awake,,talking to them more and more with lots of smiles and lots of touch like hand shakes, and pleasant conversations will all add to comforts to your child..after all your child looks upon you as to how you react to them,,then shows off his first impressions,,its later thn how the person interacts to them that they will react further...
just keep trying,,11months is still better to take care of thn the age at 18months...at 18months onwards child becomes very picky aboutt people as he understands it well and its hard for parents to divert them or lemme say make them forget about things,,
so thats all i have for you !! and i just hope things works out,,,good luck to you... Hetal replied. at 11months,its quite natural to behave like this.
you can do :
1. let your parents be present when you are involved in baby care, like changing diaper, brushing, changng clothes,bath time, applying creme and etc,,let them be present on day 1.
2. see your child acceptnce to them, and dpending on that, decide for day 2, where in your elder or guardian will assist you in giving things making sure tht your child sees it...
or let themoffer your child a good toy or a massage with creme etc,,or just good pampering with their hand on their head,,,kids love grandparents touch esp when pamperd on head,,,dont react nething,,give smile when your child looks at you.take your child hand and give a hi fi to your elders,,,and give them an introduction that these are the people who knows all these sweet things and when you do it, they will love it too !
3. dpending on his further acceptnce,,leave them once a while with them and see how he reacts,,if your child cries for you, be ready for him to be there,,at the same time, let your elder carry your child and you be present,,saying hellow,dear what happened,,see this is nana or dada and likewise,,talk to him being as much patient as you can,,and if you see him crying hard, take him and settle him first..sometimes, kids keep crying, just because they are crying,,and stopping them is needed,,take her out of their site and play in other room.
since your elders will be staying with you,,its quite likely that it will take tme for your child to accept them,,,everymomring your child wakesup, greet him with good morning and take him to your elders and have thr habit of sayng good morning,,nevermind if he happens to cry,,just greet and thn take her along with you..
or just leave her alone in thr sleeping area or where they are sitting,,see her responses,,and tell your elders that your child just takes times to familiarze with people,,
all of sudden if your parents will hold the baby,,he might feel as if he will be taken away by them, and might fear to go to them,,so avoid such an incident,,instead tell them that be around them,,call your child from distance,,play hide n seek,peeakaboos, and just give hifi and come back to you,,and such funny little games,,,
let your child playarea near to where your parents or elders are sitting and let him do their work,,,let your child take an initiative to come forward and socialze with them,,they will only because child knows it well that this person is sitting here and is not going to pick me up and such fears,,,so he will more comfortable in takng an initiative.
if your goal is to make your child used to your elders so that they can stay back and take care of your child,,offerng more and more opportunties to your child with incidents, like involving them in your daily chores near your child, esp when child is awake,,talking to them more and more with lots of smiles and lots of touch like hand shakes, and pleasant conversations will all add to comforts to your child..after all your child looks upon you as to how you react to them,,then shows off his first impressions,,its later thn how the person interacts to them that they will react further...
just keep trying,,11months is still better to take care of thn the age at 18months...at 18months onwards child becomes very picky aboutt people as he understands it well and its hard for parents to divert them or lemme say make them forget about things,,
so thats all i have for you !! and i just hope things works out,,,good luck to you... ruchika replied. hi minnu K,
may be i dont know the slution exactly it just i wanted to tell same thing happened withus, iremember our very first visit to india my daughter never ever wanted to go to anybody but kept on crying .she was a very active and happy child but suddenly in india she was just stucked t me and my husband not ging to anybody spl all the older ppl like my in laws my father .we went t the doctor then he told us that she is feeling alien here means she is not getting same envoirment as she was in ... she was only going to my sisin law after few days when i went to my father's place she was ok as i was alone there and she didnt find any crowd there.
dctor tols us that dont introduce her suddenly to every body give her time to meet ppl slowly.
bye