Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hi,
i am a 23 year old married girl.one year back only i got married.i live in U.S.i need a good suggestions form u all.iam really confused please help me.

as soon as i finished my engineering course i got married and came to U.S.i love to have babies very much.but my husband said that i am only 22 and very young to have now.so he asked me to wait for an year .after that he said that once u have baby u won't even have an interest of go to job.so he asked me to apply for my H1(work permit)and start working for atleast 3 months and then we can have baby.but when i ask him he is telling that i don't want to spoil u r carrer so early.i don't know what to do?he is 28 now.but all my friends and family members will surely have a baby within one year of their marriage life.i feel i am wasting my time without baby.waiting for u r advise.but he loves me a lot.no one in earth can love me as he does.i am really luckly to have him.i can understand his good point but i feel i am missing something (baby)in life. Anamika replied. Savi you are lucky that GOD has given u and caring and understanding husband. He really loves you a lot when he says that he wants you to work first. Not all men are that encouraging. There are some who treat women as only child barriers. Your husband knows that u r young and well qualified so why to waste your precious knowledge when u have it. You can get exposed to the outside world and know better about life and meanwhile can keep trying for a baby after 1 yr as her said. All the Best to you. prats replied. hi savi,

I think you should really reconsider your plans to have baby for few years for reasons like your husband is not prepared, you are qualified and have a nice carrer ahead, and still young. Little exposure to outside world would give you courage and confidence that will indirectly help you in making better citizens for tomorrow.
I wish you good luck and i am sure your love for babies will remain the same even after few more years. latha replied. Hi Savi,
I think u shud join job and then after sometime (6months) u can start planning for a baby.This way u'll both job and baby.It's true what u'r hubby said after baby is born u'll lose interest in working.U wud want to be with baby.
So its better to join job first and start planning immediately.
All the best...
latha. savi replied. thanks a lot for sparing u r precious time and u r kind advise.i am really happy hearing u r advise. Meenu replied. Hi ,

I would definitely say not all women get a husband as caring as you have. He is 100% correct. You are very young and he is thinking about your career and future more. Being independent will give you lot of confidence and courage in life. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Both of you are very young. I would say, wait for atleast 1 or 2 years.

Good luck to you.

-Meenu Manasi replied. Hi Savi,

When I read ur story, I remembered my friend's case. It's just the same. She wanted a baby badly, but somehow her hubby was not interested so early.
She also stays in the US. Her parents, relatives, friends used to ask her, tease her. At that time instead of feeling happy, she used to feel offended. She used to weep when she was alone.

But my dear friend, GOD was kind on her; Though a bit late, she was blessed with a baby girl soon.

I could tell you one thing that is, if ur hubby loves u so much, try to wait for some time. Listen, there is no point in conceiving when ur hubby is not interested. Right? I think that being pregnant is such a joy, in which both the husband and wife should be able to extract equal happiness.

He must be suggesting to avoid for some reasns which he might feel important. May be, he might think that u and himself or either of u might not be matured enough to raise a child. Or he must be planning to be financially more stronger; or he might be also waiting for the understanding between u both to grow a little bit.

It is not a difficult thing to be pregnant and give birth to a child as compared to raise him/her after the birth.

As u said, it's only an year that u have got married. And u r just 23. It's ok to wait if ur hubby wishes. Ofcourse this is my view.

The responsibilities multiply as u get pregnant.

I think that it is too early to feel that u r missing something (baby). Dont miss the good times thinking about the things which u feel u r missing today. Think positively.. u will feel happy.
Pls. dont feel bad. I am sorry if I sound a bit straight forward.

U can visit the May 2005 due date club to read abt me.

Anyways!!! All the best.....

Trust in GOD. HE is watching us all.

Take care!
Manasi