Relationships  Discussion Forum

i am 24,muslim female.girls i have been reading the forums here for sometime now.
i am in a situation where i have to choose between my life and duty.i say this because i am married to a wonderful man.he is an occupation therapist,loves me and my baby to bits.he thinks i am the most beautiful girl on earth.he listens to me,cares for me and is in everyway a good human being.we got married when i was very young.it was an arranged match.i was never in love with my husband.but then i did'nt know what love is all about.i liked a guy in college but that was more like a crush.once married we had a lovely child.but i never felt like he was the one.the prince charming.the decription of handsome for me was totally different.we joined site called naseeb to make more friends around usa.i put my picture up n so did my hubby abbas.
the next day itself i started getting mails from male admirers and even females.everyone was like u r so beautiful and stuff.some even told me that i should start modelling and one man also says if i ever leave my husband he would marry me. a couple of them told me that my husband was not good looking.
it is NOT because of this site but basically i have always felt so.i hate to admit that i always feel i could've done better,had i waited. i am young and often think about leaving. my husband is a gem of a person,but he not funny,handsome or smart.many of you here might think i am so cruel to say all this. i am an event planner and i meet handsome guys everyday and all of them seem besotted by me. and here at home i have a husband who is overweight,does not talk well,looks years older than me and is not into anything that i am into.should i get up and just leave.i have read some other similar queries on this site and elsewhere and i the replies were all similar.that the girl should stay.i want to admit to you that i hate getting physically intimate with him.i have to prepare myself for that also.
i look at other girls not half as good as me with guys who r smart and good looking and this burns my heart.
what should i do now? i know that many of u will tell me to choose duty over life. i want to say that finacially there would be no problems even if i leave.i know for the sake of my daughter i should not think of all this.but i think we can manage that too if such a situation arises.
i have one life and want to live it to the fullest.everyone thinks we r a happy couple,mis-matched but happy,but i am not.he is.but i am not happy.i feel very very guilty to leave him in fact i wish he was a bad abusive man so that would make my decison easier.but he is not .he is a lovely man.are all other marriages also unhappy? i mean the ones that look so good from outside? i know many would say what if i had a great looking hubby who ill treated me.but come on why would i have that of all people? i mean i have friends who have handsome loving husbands too.i don't know what i am asking anymore.please reply.
SINCE DESPERATE SITUATIONS CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES I AM POSTING MY PIC FOR ALL TO SEE AND LET ME KNOW THE MOST HONEST OPInION ABOUT WHAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT ME AND ABOUT HIM AND ABOUT US AS A COUPLE STRICTLY LOOKSWISE.
plz girls go to the site naseeb dot com and i have made a false id for all of u to enter and look at our pics.i know that nobody i know is on this forum so i think it is safe for me.
when u go to naseeb website just type the following username and password.
USERNAME:sania2005
password:justbehappy
once u're in on top you will see a search a username search
in that just type beeno786 and u will see my pics
u see one pic and u can go click on it to see more .below are many testimonials from friends and i want you to read them too.
in the testimonials you will see abz786 thatz my husband.click on his pic and u will reach his profile and pics.my lovely daughter's pics are there too.after u r done u can have a look at my brother and sisters profile which is again in my testimonial area.the last 2 are my sister mariam and last one is my brother.he is very handsome and i wanted a husband as smart and handsome as he is.
anyways sisters,i have welcomed you into my life,made an id for u all to enter and give honest opinions and this shows that i trust you all very much.i will wait for your replies.i will have to deactivate and make my pictures unavailable after a while because there could be other people we don;t know coming on this site later.so please see them quick and give me your advice.u can even email me on beenolovely at yahoo do com
my name is beeno and husband is abbas and we've a lovely daughter zaina.
thank you for reading my problem and hope to get replies rekha replied. the grass looks greener on the other side!!!!
Beauty fades with time sweetheart...all that is left is the person within. U say your husband is a really nice man and kinda treats u like a princess....no man out there is perfect....u need to decide what compromise u need to do. All there people prasing you..all they want is Sex!!!! U really want to be with a guy whose morals r so low that he asks u to leave u'r husband??
Listen. if looks were so important to u..u should have told your parents u'r criteria of what kinda of looking guy u wanted. I have a friend who is not at all good looking, overweight..but a great person andI think his wife is really lucky.
Trust me u want some one to be there with u through thick and thin..not someone who only wants u for u'r looks.
They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..i think it is very true. For someone out there who has a goodlooking, smart..but absuive or indiffrent husband..u'r husband will be the most handsome man around.
Even if u leave him...any man u be with there will be something missing.
Think about it! usha replied. Which one is your husbands photo?i couldn't find any ugly looking guys there.. reema replied. i think you have proud of your beauty. i am slim and good looking wife. but i just see love of my husband not his look. i know he love me. and upper message is right if you are ugly and fat like other woman and if say all this nonsence word for you and you come to know about all this think then how you feel. but you know that you punish by showing your family and friends photo. one of my friend she is muslim she know you and might be couple of days your husband will see this too.. what you did? then he will leave you not you. thats your punishment.

my friend told me your story too.

all the best a friend replied. hello beeno,

I am really shocked to see your post. Well i would suggest you to try to be happy with what you have. U should think urself lucky to have such a loving and caring husband. All people are not that lucky. u are blessed by God so try to make out as much as u can from WHAT YOU HAVE IN LIFE don't run after WHAT IS JUST UR MERE FANTASY. u are just seeing one side of that situation. so try to be happy and just don't spoil you and two other life. you are a mother so need to behave more responsible now, dear

see the grass is always green the other side, u don't know what is the meaning of having a person who is good looking but not loving and understanding.

If ur husband is not dat good lookign try to put some effort to change him and look better. Ask him u how much u love to see him slim and handsome with stylish cloths and all. U CAN CHANGE HIM THIS WAY AND LOOK BETTER.

u are just concentrating on the outer looks but life is too long to be based on just looks of a person. A handsome person may not be a lifelong mate and companion and u need A COMPANION IN LIFE TO SPEND UR LIFE WITH NOT A GOOD LOOKING FACE. SO PLS THINK TWICE.

MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH RIGHT DECISION. jUST TELL ME WHAT if you leave ur present life and move on with some good looking person and may be one day u come up to thsi forum and say

NOW I HAVE GOOD LOOKING PERSON BUT HE DOEN'T LUV ME, JUST USES MY BODY AND CURSES ME SCOLDS ME EVERYTIME AND HAVE NO CONCERN ON HOW I FEEL ABT CERTAIN THINGS. WHAT WILL U DO THEN. DO U THNK U CAN LIVE UR LIFE WITH SUCH A PERSON FOR WHOM U WILL BE JUST A BODY AND HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY OTHER QUALITIES LIKE your present hubby have. Sorry to say bt LIFE WILL BE HELL FOR YOU THEN. So think positive and make your life +ve with whatever u have.

life is not abt giving up. its abt fights with the present situations and make it live to the fullest. DON'T GIVE UP BUT TRY TO TAKE OUT +VE THINGS OUT OF -VE THINGS AND THEY WILL EMPOWER OVER YOUR LIFE.

GOD BLESS. DON'T SPOIL UR LIFE.

take care
a well wisher

eee replied. I think you exaggarate. your husband isnt an ugly man lady! I am sorry you didnt find love. But i think you shd wear down the beauty facade for a while to realise your situation.

Sit down and think abt your situation. Its really not that bad. Ask your husband to loose some pounds and he'll be a handsome man.

If you are so stuck on your beauty, then leave...who is to stop you. As you say, you have only one life. If you would rather be happy and leave your husband and child to a life full of misery, then do it. Its one life for them too.

remember it just takes an splitsecond accident or an illness to take out the 'beauty' in the beautiful beeno. But the close people in your life will stay. Dont lose them. No way.