Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am a 21 year old mumbai boy.My problem is my bhabhi's behaviour.I have been living with my brother and bhabhi. My bhabhi & me got along easily initially but now certain problems have arisen. She ties her sari very low - below her belly button. She used to change her saree right behind me. Cant understand what makes her feel so free with me. Even outside the house the story is the same.Recently in the train she came with us in the general compartment and I noticed everybody around staring at her exposed stomach. I was uncomfortable with the staring. When we got off the train, we saw my bhabhi had a scratch on her stomach and it was bleeding. It was probably from a watch. She said she didnt realise because I was holding her waist in the train, so she was secure. I remained silent as I realised it was not me but somebody else right behind her. I was on her right & my bro in front of her. I was felling sick by now & couldn't really imagine how my bro was remaining silent to all this. How is this that she had no problem thinking it was me holding her waist. Is it because it is not a private part of the body? Isn't it immoral for me to do that? Is there any way I can change the way things are going on?
Sandy replied. Hi Sailesh,
So it would be good to know that she would come to know what she is doing with you. Oak replied. Hi Sailesh,
So some people would be like that only because they will do all such things intentionally and they will do it until they have that so do not get so worried . Pari replied. Hi Sailesh,
So it is nothing but it would some thing like crush.So better you try to avoid her and make her clear that you were not interested in her and you would not face such issues. Deepali replied. Hi Sailesh,
Your sister in law had crush on you.It is so clear but you need to make her realize that she is doing wrong with you.Because such thoughts will change the life completely. Shailu replied. Hi Sailesh,
It is nothing but she is trying to mislead you and you have to teach her a lesson and to change her behavior.And try to change to move her in good path.It is good for her only. Meera replied. Hi Sailesh,
So can you say what would be the solution you had chosed to solve that also and i wish you had solved as of now also and you have taken the good decision only and you were happy with that also. Pari replied. Hi Person,
What would you do now to solve you problem because it is you who are facing the problem and you have to solve it on your own only and share it in the forum that how did you solve the problem also. Siri replied. Hello Sailesh,
I think your babi was innocent and she does not know how to behave with others but if some tells she would listen definitely and even your problems will be solved so it would be better you just try to solve the problem. LA replied. I think you are uncomfortable with her sexuality. Maybe you are slightly attracted toward her or maybe you aren't but she is an attractive woman and you feel uncomfortable with that fact.

Sounds like she feels comfortable with you and takes you as a younger brother.

I don't know about changing saree in front of you but some ppl are more comfortable with such things than others.

Her intentions might be wrong but they might be innocent too. Sounds innocent but maybe you should talk to her and your bro about it. Express your feelings and not their actions or intentions but that you are uncomfortable in certain situations and how they can help you to be more comfortable.

just a suggestion vinay replied. Your brother is not getting worked up becuase he's mature, and you're just an easily excited kid. There's nothing wrong with her wearing the sari below her belly button. Everyone does it. In any case, you should concentrate on your studies and move out. She must not even realise that just becuase she wears her sari so low you are getting so hyper. She must be changing behind you becuase her whole life her mother may have changed her sari in front of her children and husband. Her back is to you, a sari in any case is worn over a petticoat and bouse. She must think of you as a kid or brother, or maybe she is just not so inhibited and shy.
You should have made it clear that you did not hold her waist. Regarding her sari, it is really not your business. It seems to me the problem is that you find her attractive, and are trying to put the blame on her behaviour. Maybe she does have other intentions, you never know. I think you should hurry and finish your studies, and move out of the house and get independent. Passing Guest Girl replied. Tell your brother!!! You need to talk to him! NOW!!

How would you feel if it was your precious wife who was doing this behind your back to one of your brothers! The fact that she would lie about what happened on the bus is worst enough!! What if later she lies about something else and blames you again too!

This is WRONG for her to do and WRONG for you to keep from him!! TEll YOUR BROTHER NOW! He is her husband and he has a right over her. He needs to KNOW. It could get worse in the future. You are his brother and you have a right TO tell him before the situation gets more tangled and sticky for you!

The answer is CLEAR: TELL YOUR BROTHER !! NOWW!!!!!!!! Arun replied. Shailesh,

Lets put a bottom line first, have a sensible talk with your brother and sister-in-law.

It's nothing wrong to be little open with family members like brother-in-law. As long as you both or at least one has nothing sexual aspect on mind.

It may be that your SIL treat you like her own brother and this is likely makes her feel comfortable. YOu would say still it's wrong.

As many people those personalities. Definitely your brother and you are two differen with reference to opinions.

Remind her/and him that local train experience and what you feel about. I know the worse can happen is you will be misjudged but it's OK, you will at least have said what you feel about. There are many things that could be sorted by a simple talk. Talk to them and hopefully everything will be OK.

Wearing saree and how much she would expose is matter between her own feelings and her husband (two of them would define their privacy borders). If you are not comfortable bring a point how wrong it is and may be they will understand.

Arun