Dearest Siya,

CONGRATULATIONS! I was very happy to read your post and hear of your happy news. How are you feeling? Did you manage to get through the first trimester without any morning sickness? I hope that things have gone well thus far and that you are marvelling at the little life that is growing inside you... Are you begining to show yet? How are things with your hubby, he must be over the moon with the news!

Sorry to throw out so many questions but this is very exciting news! I am so very happy for you Siya, seriously I am typing away here with a big grin on my face! I can understand your decision to keep the news to yourself until you have passed the three month stage, it must have been hard keeping it a secret occasionally. My hubby and I are having a break from TTC so I am afraid I have nothing exciting to report back but ha ha ha your news is definately the best thing I have heard this year! I am sure little Paras is watching over his momma, making sure that everyone is ok and feeling a lot of pride that he will be a big brother. Take care of yourself, rest, eat well, love your hubby and keep smiling... Don' t forget to keep us posted! Many blessings Siya

Hugs
Kate

Hi Siya,

I am sorry to have rambled on like I did without much consideration to the emotional impact of your news. Going through a mix of emotions or even seeming to feel nothing is apparently a normal response. We all cope with our losses in different ways and it is no different when one conceives again. In your post you say you are yet to feel any excitement relating to this pregnancy, your emotions are guarded and that is probably your way of coping, even if it isn´ t concious. Maybe you won´ t feel a bond or you can´ t allow yourself to connect emotionally until such a time as you are holding your baby in your arms with the knowledge that this baby is healthy and alive. All of this is normal. An earlier delivery and via c-section is often suggested after a loss and it seems your gyn is going to be monitoring your pregnancy closely. I can understand being cautious emotionally so rather than worrying about bonding with your baby right now just keep your mind focused on your health and how the pregnancy is progressing. Have you discussed your chances of another loss? If I recall correctly Paras died of meconium asperation, yes? Sometimes talking things through with your doc can be the best thing to quash your fears. I don´ t know a great deal about what happened with Paras but I believe it would all stem from distress through the labour and by having a c-section you will all but remove that issue.

Concentrate on positive things relating to your pregnancy. I know it is very hard Siya and I don´ t like saying this incase another mother takes it the wrong way (any loss is tragic at any stage-each loss is equal and I hope no one feels I am suggesting otherwise) but according to health professionals full-term loss does make subsequent pregnancies more difficult emotionally than an earlier loss. Think about it Siya, if you lost your baby at 13 weeks, when you cross that 13 week mark the next time around there is a sense of releif. It doesn´ t mean it is smooth sailing after that but there is an easing of the presure just knowing this baby made it further than the last. With a full term loss its harder, where is that milestone? We lost Ishani during our labour so I know for myself unless and until I am holding my own healthy baby in my arms there will be no releif. This is probably the case for you. I don´ t know what else to say right now Siya but you have my support! I wish I knew of some magical words to give you all the hope and faith you will need to make things seem ok but there are none. Just know that I am here if ever you need me and I will do all I can to keep that smile on your face. Take care Siya!

Kate

hi radha,

i am doing fine had no problems like vomiting nausea kind a thing but had some smell problems.....my due date is 11th july ..but my gynac and i had decided to go for c section some 15 days earlier depending upon the situation....this we never celeberated this news not even when i broke it....nor when i first saw the baby when i went for ssonography....nor when we heard the heart beat....nothing it really blank ....no emotions....
lets see what happen this time..
bye for now i am in hurry would write in detail later