Relationships  Discussion Forum

Well guys the last I told you...It was Thursday night before our wedding on SAt morning. On Thursday night he went home to his mom and totally controlling sister when he called it off. On Friday morning he went back and forth all day I had already told evryone it was over and not to go to Atlanta for the wedding. He then calls my mom as I was on my way to the airport to leave(just thought I needed to get away) and tells her he want to get married on Saturday(the next morning). SHe then calls me and says he wants to do it....I can't believe him. My poor American mom she has no idea of all that is going on because she would never umderstand. I then call him and say if you want to get married to me then meet me at the court house in Birmingham. At 4:15pm he and I were married....lol....Wasn't exactly as I had planned but it happened...I ended up going in my honeymoon with a girlfriend of mine because his vacation got messed up. But we are schedule to go to the beach next week. No word from the family except they called for him to buy them a new car or something...I don't try to understand...I just know I love this man and I will give him a little time and then his parent will have to accept the situation or not. But thank you all for your support and prayers. This has been the hardest thing I have went through. I saw with my own eyes on Thursday night that we broke up the control that they had. His sister called constantly whlie he was here. Screaming and yelling at him and then they would all get onthe phone crying...YOu know what it made me love my family so much that I am free and I have choices right or wrong to make....God bless you all my friends.....I know this all souds like a lifetime movie but it's all my life....lol.... susan replied. hi,
i hv been readings ur posts. finally, everythings okay. well, i know the in-laws thing is not yet over. and i doubt if it will ever be.. anyway, dont want u to lose hope. i am sure one day they will understand u and accept u whole-heartedly.

to make u feel better, i'll tell u this. my husband and me had a love marriage. he's a hindu and i'm a christian (from india). his parents didnt want the marriage to happen. we still did get married but they didnt accept me. we came to US one week after our wedding. my husband tried to make them understand and gradually, they started talking to me and now they hv understood the fact that they hv to accept me, they hv no other choice. well, things r not that easy though. i mean, they do behave like those typical in-laws but i dont care too much abt it now. i hv learnt that after certain point, u hv to let go. i tried my best to care for them and like them, but they just dont understand. so i too am ok with that now.

so, by telling u all this, i just wanted to tell u that the mentality of indian in-laws is that way (not all in-laws though). they will take time, but i am sure one day they will accept u.

meanwhile, love ur husband a lot and do make a few compromises if u hv to. meaning, if ur husband wants to take u to meet his parents, try to wear the indian traditional dress if u can. ask ur husband what else might please them. if its not too much, u can learn some indian cooking and call them for dinner and cook some indian dishes and see how they take it. if they want to take u to the temple, go with them once in a while to please them. so maybe if u take the initiative, they might turn out to be the best in-laws. and if they still dont, then forget them. live ur life to the fullest with ur hubby. u can do only up to a certain limit, right, and after that u just hv to let it go.

hope everythings okay for u. do keep us updated from time to time. bye. sun replied. Please do not arbitrarily denigrate Indian parents. Indian parents are concerned with whom their children marry. The children in turn are generally happy to let their parents have some control over selection of partners. That is the culture here.

American \";culture\";...hmmm...Tracy's American parents may have little concern whom their daughter marrys. This is typical. American parent is used to seeing the daughter shacking with a dozen boyfriends, not counting the casual d**k's picked up from bars and partying. So who cares? sun replied. Yeah on one hand the Indian guy who is a wimp and mama's boy and so boring and dull(I wonder why any American women marry them at all).

On the other hand, American guy who has no family attachments and sexual permissiveness and always looking for an extra-marital affair not to mention the long list of past girlfriends who pleasured him.

Its a real dilemma isnt it?? advise me replied. Hi Tracy,

I've followed your posts for a while hoping for a happy ending... For a while there, given your last post, I was afraid that things had gone sour. This really is wonderful news. Your in-laws have tried all they could to break your relationship and they have failed. I do think your new husband deserves a bit of praise for weathering the violent emotional storm and more than anything you deserve a hug for always standing by him.

Congratulations Tracy. I hope your marriage is a long and wonderful one. I truly believe you have gone through the worst of things and that eventually they will cool down. Wether that means acceptance or just silence is up to them. As you know I am in a similar position as you, recently married and despite the storm clouds in the 'east' I am every bit the happy bride.

I find myself wondering what I can offer to you in the way of advice and encouragement during the next few weeks (if, like in my situation, there will be a few more things left to say from the family). Concentrate on what is here right here and now. Enjoy all the precious moments with your new hubby and let the rest blow away. I do wish you every wonderful blessing a new marriage deserves. Once more, congratulations. m&m replied. Thats straight out of a movie plot!!
Congratulations! Dont worry. It all sorts out in the end. They cant afford to lose a son, let me tell you that. If you play your cards right and understand their psyche, you can rule. Trust me.

dont try to give in too much for them to accpet yoy. They will do that at a later point in time. the only thing that will do is set precedents for ou to compromise. Stay as you are, be honest truthful to yourself and above all be fair to al. That should do it!

Good luck!