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hi!

I AM A MOTHTER OF A 3YR OLD GIRL.who does not respect me and ill treatesme . we live with my MIL and she's too much attached to her. my MIL is a interferring type of a lady. she has the hold of ourfamily and my place is nothing. my husband doesn't bother much about me. iam well qualified a science graduate and a managaement post gradute ,not working ,now iam doing LLB. day after tommorow is my exam and today iam very much disturbed.my daugher dont love me. she says u go to ur maas place i will live with my grandma &papa. i love her too much, itake good care of her ,a little bit strict , but i have to be as she is a stubborn child(due to MIL and dad). recently she has started behaving like this when this kind of a thing happens bet my daughter and me my MIL is the happiest person, and i feel very low and almost like killing myself.....
right now iam crying and daugter and my MIL are in her room. my husband always takes me for grantd . he is happy in his own world and least care about me . iam very much depreessed.....he got married with me for god knows why? and spoiled my whole life.iam living with him just because of my daughter. iam not able to concentrate on my studies..... please someone help me.... saheli replied. Hi depressed,
Don't get so worked up about this. Eventually she will realise your role and importance. Your mil can't fulfill all her needs. She can't take her out to play, mingle with her friends and their family, take her for activities etc.
Try to figure out a way to take ur daughter out somewhere all by yourself. Enroll her in some activity like dance, music, arts etc. And once you take her for the activity, make sure u don't show up home for a long time. Take her for some fun stuff. Slowly she will bond with u.
My in-laws stay with us too and tried hard to bond my kids with them. But I worked hard towards not letting them do that. My FIL would snatch the baby from me and take him to his room and lock the door if we wanted to take him somewhere. He won't let me breast feed my son. But where there is a will there is a way... I made sure that I am always there for my kids, for all their needs. No matter how tired and exhausted I am, I always worked hard to take care of them.
For somethings u need to put your foot down. If u believe in something you will always find a way to do it. If you are upset and depressed all the time, your daughter will move away from you further coz kids don't like depressed mom. She won't have fun with u so will go someplace else. And if she says things like u go away, I will stay with grandma, then pretend that you are very sad and need a hug from her. And then say I am happy.
Try to sleep with her. Surprise her every now and then with little things.
Make some excuse and take her out even if it means postponing your studies for sometime.
Try hard to bond with her. She is your daughter damn it and you can't give her up to anybody......... Believe in this and get ready to fight this battle.

I feel really sad for u coz i have gone through this.
Take Care
Saheli friend replied. this is v.serious my friend. stop being strict to your kid. because she is only a 3year old baby. be v.loving to her. get her whatever she wants. dont worry. she will not get spoilt because of this. be v.v.affectionate to her. your baby is too small to understand your love unless u show her this way and that too with your wicked mil around. after u win her love, get a job for yourself and convince your husband and move out of the house and lead a seperate life. i was v.smart in this. i knew inlaws are like this. i was a kid like your kid totally brainwashed by my dad's parents. but i loved my mom. but i used to believe what ever anybody from my dad side said, it was too late when i realized their true colours. so i was v.careful regarding my child. i know that my inlaws are wicked. i never allow my baby to go near my inlaws. they tried carrying him, pampering him but nothing worked. he simply refuses to go to them. he doesnt even allow them to touch him Diligent replied. My advise is you and your daughter should spend some quality time together preferably away from home where there is no interference from your hubby or MIL. Take her out shopping, go for a nice lunch to Mac donalds or go to a playroom. Try to do it every now and then and your daughter will look forward to this treat. Also, at night read a bed time story for her. Children need constant attention at this age and she doesn't hate you. The more time you spend with her the more attached she will be to you. I am sure your MIL can not play or jump or run around with her - but you can as you are young and kids love someone who can monkey around with them. Good luck and don't be depressed it won't solve your problems. cd replied. Hi there,

i know how you must be feeling..Its prb the lowest point in a mom's life when the child [refers someone else over you.
its not something to be ashamed of mind you..
its prob because
1. the mom is working and has left teh child with teh grandparents...
2. the mom has let the grandparents take care of the kid letting them have a little happiness and the grandparents try to take the child away (happens in most indian households!!)

in both situtaions, you shdnt live with it. make it clear to the people involved that you need to bond with the child. No coercion, but simply some times of fun and laughter will put together the bond in place.

you dont have to loosen the rules of the house though..doesnt mean you have to be less disciplining..

also whenever such statments are expressed by the child, make it a point to let the elders make teh child feel favouring one over the others is hurtful.

Hope this helps.

dont be sad. you bore the child. she may not know this now , but will realise this eventually. Do look for ways to raise your esteem in her eyes. a good job / another degree, intelligent converstaion/ fun personality will go a longh way..

so do keep up taht studying! hope it helps!