Relationships  Discussion Forum

Name: Aruna Tanik

I have a question that sound a bit weird for others. What is your opinion about living with my husband after getting a divorce? We have all the problems in the relationship that 90% of married people reading this have in their relationship, neither more nor less. The simplest reason why I think of this is I and my husband individually are very good people. Especially among friends, family, colleagues we have that very good label and ready to support anyone at anytime both financially and physically.
But when we are together, O MY GOD, it is 2 devils living together. When I analysed further I felt the reason behind it is we don’t give enough respect each other. When I do something for him, he considers it like my responsibility and doesn’t value it. He would have only suggestions to improve what I am doing, not even a word of appreciation or gratitude. We have 2 small kids. We both are so hard working and have a very successful career and earning a very good salary. We have a very good financial status, all because of both of us hard work and the support my parents give in order to take care of my kids when I am away for work. But he never values the effort I am putting and he considers me like someone on whom he has all the authority. I don’t spend much money. But still he questions each and every transaction in my bank statement, even if it is a super market bill.
As I already know his attitude, I have developed the mindset of a defender and ready to react at any time.
Everybody likes and enjoy doing things for others when done under their good will. When done under obligation, it is all the time by cursing and all.
I know him very well. He doesn’t have any bad characters like drinking, smoking, over spending or other relationship. He can never think of a divorce. I have tried all the means to change him, by opening my mind, be the good wife in his mind. But all the time it was only me adjusting, suffering and sacrificing. Not even a single movement to change from his side.
When I look around the most useless and stupid wives are treated like queens by their husbands. Altogether I don’t feel good at all this way.
I am quite sure that a divorce notice can be a bit shocking for him. I know him very well and pretty sure that if at all anything can change him, it is only this.

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