The colour of my veins has become dark blue. Is this a problem? niki replied. Hi Vidhya, i didnt have mid-term u/s but due to pain i hadto do u/s at 15th week.
So thats when i saw the baby moving all around. Just as nature is amazing, Science is amazing. For me it was the most special moment of life to see the baby fully developed & turning all around. my mid term u/s will be in week 20. So how did U feel when u had it done? did u not know M/F? I have thoughts & dreams of calling my mom here & eating all good food & enjoy my few months of preg. but as i said my mom just gave her passport to be done. If it is done till june, may be she comes is better for me. Actually i thought of an option of having some masi fm here as in NJ we get ladies who come & work for 2/3 month & take care. but again there r several cases when they have not been trustworthy. So of course Mom is the Best at this time as it 1st time & if i dont take proper care, i may have to suffer later. Ya Americans do bother much but thats the way they R brought up. Also they have good diets.
So lets see kya hota hai. In ur & priyas case u both work here & earn on ur own but i am dependent, so for everything i want to do, i have to go thru pains. And preg is most important thing happening in my life so doing compromises is impossible for me at this time. I want someone who loves me & take care of me to be around me & it is not important who is visiting USA.i think it is My mom who has taken care for 24 years & my husband who has been by me for 2 years. so i want both of them with me. and of course my doctor.Rest who ever in the world wants to come & see America, can come. Since the delivery has been decided in USA there R many relatives who want to show their motherhood to me, but this is not a good time for me to go thru any dramas.
Just praying God thats it!





vidhya replied. I can understand your concern, I wouldnt be comfortable with anyone except my mom during this time. And plus, she has been there with me all my life and i will be in the safest hands if she is around my delivery. As you said you need some one close to you and who loves you to take care of you at this time, i totally agree with you on this. My parents will be going for their visa in the first week of april, hope everything goes well keeping my fingers crossed. Though Im going to work, ill probably quit once ive the baby, i hear some bad stories about the infants in day-care. Ive a suggestion for your moms passport to speed-up, one of my friend told me that her mom got a passport in less than a month when she showed a letter from my friends Dr./Hospital saying she needs someone to take care of her at this time. My friend is also pregnant and she is due in june. May be you can try this. well you girls have a wonderful weekend :- Priya replied. Hey nikki, what Vidhya says is correct U can fasten the process of Passport. Working here doent make much difference as far as CA is concerned. We need lot of money to live here. And ofcouse here lots of people are being laid off. I heard 2 of my friends got laid off in last week. Poor thing !.. situation here is really serious.
anyway, I am sure ur mom will come. Dont worry about it. I shall try for the prediciton for boy/girl and will tell U.
Vidya today my chinese friend here told me that my stomach has come out .. yeah it never looked this big from outside. I think slowly it is coming up. Movement I might be feeling but dont understand if it is a pain for baby is moving. I am eager for the U/S and see the little angle.
Hey Girls have a good weekend.. and take care  Top      Reply niki replied. Hi Vidhya, good that u gave the suggestion. Actually my dh has already sent the letter saying that since the due is in sept, i need my mom here by june. but lets see what happens. They have become strict in ahmedabad as there have been lots of fraud passport cases recently. So if nothing happens untill june, we may ask for drs letter. Ya there have been lots of threatening stories of daycare. Also i feel as a mother, we should nurture the child & take care & be by the child always untill it is young enough to live on their own. Even birds & animals take care of their own children. And the child never wants to come in the world, it is my decision to bring him so i should be ready for giving up my jobetc, if the child needs that time. I may again start working if needed later in my life. Priya, not only in CA it is expensive here too. luckily my dh is earning good & i neednt worry for the family finance. May be with the birth of child everyone have to give up a lot & we shud be prepared for this. U know i was watching chori chori chupke chupke & left it half way such a horrible movie. I still cant digest the idea of surrogate mom in our culture. What do ull think? niki replied. Hi I am SURE U ALL MUST HAVE READ THIS BEFORE BUT WHEN I READ THIS I FELT LIKE SHARING WITH U ALL.....

Very few of us have the gift of believing that we are good enough, organized enough, wealthy enough, supported enough, and feel good enough about ourselves and our abilities to be truly good mothers. And in the society of today we have little time enough for ourselves and our partners that we can contemplate the demands of mothering.

On top of this we have the mistaken notion that unless we are able to do it all and be all things to our mates, our other children, our extended family and our community, that we have failed.

Pregnancy stresses every resource we have. Even the simplest job can take on monumental importance and effort. We have been brainwashed to believe that pregnancy should have little impact on our lives, relationships and bodies when indeed it strongly impacts each of these. It is true that each woman has her own unique adaptation but there are some universal things that all pregnant women need beyond the physical requirements.

If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a community to support a pregnant woman. And our society is doing a very poor job. Pregnancy requires an additional 2 hours of sleep at night with frequent rest breaks and alloted time for exercise and eating healthy foods and visits to her care provider.

The mother additionally needs time alone to contemplate her new role and consider how the baby will be accommodated into the family. She needs time and patience to nurture the other children in the home so they will gain the self-esteem that it requires to adapt to a new sibling.

She needs time alone with her partner to recommit to the marriage or partnership bond, keep communication open and just touch base every day.

She needs to be mothered, respected, supported and pampered. In a supportive community environment, her own mother would be a great mentor but today that mother may be distant physically as well as emotionally.

And women who have experienced physical or emotional hardships in their lives or are in high-risk pregnancies need this even more. And who is there to supply all of this if everyone in the family and community is already stretched to the maximum?

Yes, it is normal to be irritable, to feel frustrated and taken advantage of, and the predominant reason that women feel this way is because there is often not enough support from partners, family and community members, employers and the system in general.

The expectant mother is still a fully functioning member of the family and her community but she can only do this if she feels that she is valued.

Whenever I recommend counseling, I inevitably hear oh, its not that bad, or Im not that crazy. But I feel that a good marriage and family therapist is someone who can facilitate communication within the family and prevent serious trouble in the marriage. Sometimes, men do not understand the emotional changes and needs of pregnancy; they are often overwhelmed themselves.

If you are progressively more irritable, it is a sign that you may not be getting the support you need and I would highly recommend that you discuss this with your provider who should be able to get you a referral to a counselor in your area. This is so important to do now before your feelings of depression and unworthiness become entrenched patterns in your marriage and parenting.

Read everything you can by authors such as Bing, Coleman, Kitzinger, Simpkin and Brazelton. Klaus and Kennel have written a book called Mothering the mother about woman to woman support in labor with the use of a doula. A doula will often help before the baby is born and can put you in touch with support groups in your area for expectant mothers. Your clinic may also have notices of community support groups. These often later become play groups for the children and can help you survive after the baby as well. It is so helpful to know that you are not alone and all pregnant women are going through the same emotions.

Im sorry this got so long but as you can tell I do think youre normal but just need more support as do all pregnant women at such a time in their lives. I wish you the best.

Priya replied. Thanks Nikki for a nice article. I was very busy this week so could not post any message. This weekend is going to be very special for me. My SIL has come to US and she will visit us for the weeknd. It is too good to have someone at home !!
Nothing much from my side. Next week is the u/s and waiting for it. Putting on some weight now. It started feeling much much better than previous months
Girls have a good weekend. Take care  Top      Reply arpana replied. This looks like a Big visa problems for moms eh ??? I sure am lucky to have my mom here Infact I feel bad looking at u girls I am getting everything way to easy eh...I just hope all ur moms turn up eventually
Do any of u get headaches???  Top      Reply