Children who are over pampered and over protected expect too much from their parents. They often fail differentiate between right and wrong. Let us find out how parents who love too much and who are overprotective teach wrong lessons to their children.
It is natural for you to love your children and try to make life easier for them. However, sometimes you may get blinded by the love that you hold for your child and this may cause you to inadvertently harm them by teaching wrong lessons. Parents who love too much can spoil their kids by inflating their egos, shielding them from reality and generally leaving kids unprepared for the trials of life. Here is how loving too much can harm.
You Are the Centre of the Universe
However, much you might love your kids the fact is that they deserve to be treated as individuals and not as Gods. When you constantly treat your kids as centre of the universe they slowly develop the idea that the world revolves around them. And in future when your kids encounter situations where they will not be at the top of the priority list they are apt to feel disappointed and hapless. Love your kid but not teach him or her wrong lessons by giving over importance.
Whatever You Do is Right
Every child needs to be taught the difference between right and wrong by parents as children are not born with an inbuilt moral compass. However, many parents literally worship their kids pretending as if their children can do no wrong. Kids cannot grow up in a healthy way if they are not taught the difference between right and wrong. The fact that they learn that they are incapable of doing any wrong will lead them to develop inflated egos.
You Will Not be Exposed to Reality
Many parents who love too much try shielding their children from reality at all costs. Doing all your kids homework, assignment or projects, will only make them feel that their work will always be done by others in future. Not letting them face consequences of their own actions will leave them unprepared for the time when they will actually have to face consequences in adulthood. Love does not always mean shielding; sometimes it may mean standing aside and letting kids fight their own battles.
You Are the Best
While praising and complimenting your child is necessary for building up confidence it is important for parents to stop short of over praise and ego massage. Many parents who love too much lead their kids to believe that they are the best in every sphere of life. Saying things like “you should have won that race; the other guy cheated and won” or “you are far prettier than every other girl in the class” will only harm your kid in the long run. Instead try and appreciate good qualities of other kids in front of your children as that the way they will improve.
Every Wish of Yours Shall be Fulfilled
When you give in to every whim, wish and desire expressed by your child you are indirectly teaching your child “every wish of yours will be fulfilled. This is a dangerous lesson as in real life many wishes and desires are likely to remain unfulfilled. Your kid must be taught to handle disappointment and deal with situations where what he or she wants does not happen. Your kid must also be taught to build up reservoirs of patience to deal with waiting for things and not demanding them outright. As a parent you can love your kid the right way by not giving in to every demand.
It is indeed difficult to teach your kid the right lessons at times because the right lessons are sometimes the hardest ones. However, a little forbearance and help from these tips will surely help you succeed.
Do parents who love their children too much spoil them? What are the ill effects of over pampering and overprotecting children? How to avoid being an overprotective parent? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team