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You are here Home > Beauty and Grooming > Articles
  BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM - by Editor
IF ONLY I had:

longer hair, curlier hair, straighter hair, a slimmer body, bigger breasts, more money, a better job, a boyfriend, a better husband, fairer skin, more wit, more confidence, a straighter nose, smaller hips, a nicer house life would be perfect.

Sounds familiar

Self-esteem means feeling good about your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and desires. High self-esteem is important because it provides a foundation for you to deal with life's many challenges. Improving your self-esteem can give you the confidence, strength and resiliency to face and overcome many obstacles. The root cause of low self-esteem lies in constantly comparing ourselves with others, and finding ourselves lacking. Many of us look around us, at all the seemingly more beautiful, happier and more fulfilled folks around us and feel we come up short. Maybe, in a way, it's okay to think that. If everyone was completely satisfied with the way they looked, whatever would happen to the beauty industry! Or the fashion industry! Who would idealise the Aishwarya Rais and Sushmita Sens of the world There's nothing wrong in comparing ourselves with others. In fact, such comparisons may even spur us on to better ourselves. It is when these comparisons start dragging us down, that we are in trouble.

Be comfortable with your body

Our standard of beauty is rising. What with India churning out Miss Worlds and Miss Universes year after year, the Indian woman suddenly has new ideals to look up to. Our perceptions of beauty have scaled new heights, and when the mirror image doesn't match these standards, we lose heart. The most common cause of insecurity stems from a dislike of our body image. Small wonder that cases of bulimia and anorexia are on the rise in India. We are constantly bombarded by images of perfection. If we don't look like Lisa Ray in spite of using the same lipstick, we just might sink into a tunnel of depression.

Snap out of it!

Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself you look good. Maybe you need to lose a little weight from your hips, but you look great anyway. If you are overweight, getting upset about it will not solve the problem. Working out and exercising will. So you have to work harder than your friends much harder to lose the same amount of weight? Tough, but you're just going to have to do it, and it will pay off in the long run, when your bones are hard as steel and you are as fit as a fiddle, and can still run circles around the block when your other friends who scorned exercise walk with the support of a cane. Plus, don't forget, you've got other things going for you that they don't. Perhaps you are more financially comfortable, perhaps you have a nicer face, a more loving family, or a nicer voice

Accept yourself

It's time to understand one basic fact of life. There will always be someone prettier, richer, wittier or more successful. That does not make them better persons, or happier. Likewise, there will always be those who have less than you. They may have less money, be less talented or be less good looking. But that would not make you any superior or happier.

Give yourself a break

When we compare ourselves with others, we know the worst of our selves and our lives but we have no idea about the problems others may be facing. We compare what we are from inside, to what another person appears to be on the outside. In school, I had a friend who was beautiful, rich and popular. She seemed to have it all and was envied by most girls in my class. But little did they know the pain she was going through at home. Her father was a womanizer, her mother had attempted suicide five times, they had constant fights at home, throwing things at each other, and she'd cry herself to sleep every night. Not the ideal life, is it?

Let go of petty jealousies and envious feelings

Life is not about getting one-up on another person. You are never going to be happy that way. The women you envy today may have far harder times ahead of them than you will ever face. No one knows what the future holds. You have got to focus on yourself. Do not moan for the life you had imagined having or wish you would have. It is very easy to become bitter and blame the world for all your problems. Grow up! Spend your time trying to be happy with the life you are already leading.

Picture yourself twenty years from now

The sort of comparison you are now making with your peers lessens as you advance in years. Suddenly you realise that all of you have turned fifty, your life is just fine, and those non-productive comparisons just dwindle away. Why wait till then? You've got one life. Start now!

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Feedback on article
Name: Shamla Desai
City:   Mumbai
Comments:   This article is very interesting and I look forward to apply this idea and live life happier instead of comparing ourselves with others.
Name: Candie
City:   KY(USA)
Comments:   This article is really nice,as reading it, as a person, who has low self esteem really makes me think..thank you for who ever posted it
Name: minnu
City:   chicago
Comments:   well put article, we must remember only one rich is God humans can never be perfect in everyway that is for the creator
Name: Colleen
City:   everett, wa
Comments:   A beautiful article, but I'm the type to read it and forget it. Maybe printing it and posting it on the fridge would help!
Name: Indy Singh
City:   Ireland
Comments:   A wicked article! as a matter a fact it did give me a pinch aspecially the second last paragraph...thank you for whoever who posted it.
Name: neha
City:   newyork
Comments:   1 word INSPIRING!!,props 2 the writer.,i agree. u have 2 love urself from the inside.,then only u will love who u r from ur outside.
Name: hazel
City:   manila
Comments:   i lack self esteem and it makes me less productive than other people of my age. you're article has given me insights which if i'll apply would surely help me increase my self confidence. thank you. more power
Name: Kusha Arora
City:   New Delhi
Comments:   This article has given a new confidence to me, as I read it when i was emotionally wreked, it had helped me a lot
Name: jezbel
City:   xxx
Comments:   The article is enlightening , but what about people who have everything the world aspires to be , they have almost the most enviable face and stats but they still do lack confidence for no apparent reason .People who yearn not for others envy or jealousy but only little care and affection & thats so hard to find.All relationships turn out to be disasters , makes me wonder what good use a beautiful face and figure is Its absolutely worthless.
Name: Eva
City:   Montreal
Comments:   Your article was good, but I don't think that anything can help me at this point. I hate myself: not only how I look but my personnality. Everyone always says: it`s the inside that count, not how you look. Great, cause my personnality SUCKS. I can never think of anything funny or witty to say when someone says something to me and I'm not even that nice. I once asked my mom what were the 5 best traits about me, and she was like, "um, you`re just a really sweet person". AKA boring. Useless. Pethatic. I hate myself, and I have no friends at my school, I`m always alone, and that`s no suprise. The most pethatic thing about this is that I started off great: great family, neighbourhood, no financial problems, etc etc etc. Sorry about this being so long, and your article is great, really.
Name: noreen
City:   phils
Comments:   I've read so many magazines that emphazise this topic. Like what they it easier to say than done.
Name: juhi
City:   tampere,finland
Comments:   hi this is a very good article i found the site today it is really unique, helpfull in real sense
Name: Beena
City:   Santa Monica
Comments:   Very beautiful, without these words we would be completely lost within nothing.
Name: Chitra Idnani
City:   Dubai,U.A.E.
Comments:   I like this article.This means that we are all equal.If you don't have one thing you may have the other.Eva(in the feedbacks)says that she doesn't have looks or character,but she may have so many talents.First even I used to think that I am not good at anything,but I found out that I dance pretty well and I'm pretty,and that I havr brains,and that I have a loving family...... It doesn't matter if you don't have stuff you want.What really matters is that you love yourself and appreciate the things you have that replace the things you want instead of crying that 'I wish Ihad this,I wish I had that..' Don't only live life,use and enjoy it too.
Name: Chitra Idnani
City:   Dubai,U.A.E.
Comments:   I like this article.This means that we are all equal.If you don't have one thing you may have the other.Eva(in the feedbacks)says that she doesn't have looks or character,but she may have so many talents.First even I used to think that I am not good at anything,but I found out that I dance pretty well and I'm pretty,and that I have brains,and that I have a loving family...... It doesn't matter if you don't have stuff you want.What really matters is that you love yourself and appreciate the things you have that replace the things you want instead of crying that 'I wish Ihad this,I wish I had that..' Don't only live life,use and enjoy it too.
Name: chamu
City:   AP
Comments:   A very good site,all the articles are fabulous and helpful ,in all aspects
Name: maz
City:   PGM
Comments:   excellant article !
Name: ruth
City:   bristol,uk
Comments:   This is a brilliant article- not so long that you lose interest, but long enough to get the point across. All too often our lives are ruled by what others think- but at the end of the day, you're the one in control. You've just gotta believe it! Thanks for such an inspiring article!
Name: Laura
City:   new york
Comments:   i have a major self esteam issue....i used to be soo confident then when i got to be 13 other girls were started to have bigger boobs and i just am an A and i am 14 right now i hate living in this body and i am trying to gain weight because i am 85 pounds and 5'5 in height i no that isnt normal plesae help...and also i got over the self esteam issues until i got cheated on because i dont have curves and i am just a skinny twig plzz help i need someone to talk to because i really have no one
Name: Arjun
City:   mumbai
Comments:   I think .. this is really nice. This shows that everyone is equal. This shows that money is not everything ..... being happy and carrying yourself well are probably the most important things in life ... cheers !!!
Name: A girl
City:   Shj
Comments:   I am SO tired of being alone . People come up and try to talk to me but i can´t reply . They get offended and think i´m stuck up . But i´m not . I really hate myself . I tell people who ask that i like being alone but i don´t . I HATE it . People try so hard to talk to me but i just don´t . I am so tired of being ALL ALONE. I hate my looks even though everyone tells me i´m pretty . I don´t shop and avoid mirrors when i´m out. Please help me. I want to live .
Name: Sammy
City:   DXB
Comments:   You HAVE to look at the positive . I am 5feet 2inches and used to hate my height . I did every thing to try and increase it . But now i love it , there are really hot celebs who r short like rachel bilson,eva longoria,shakira,Salma Hayek,christina aguilera and loads more! Yeah i do feel bad sometimes , but the good outweighs the bad.
Name: koko
City:   Q8
Comments:   before i read this articale i hated the way that i look , i thought i was a useless potato in life , just a number in the polls but now i really feel like ruling the word , one day i will do that & i´ll thank you guyzz for writing this :X .
Name: Melissa
City:   Manchester, England
Comments:   Thankyou for this article its very beautiful and special.
Name: rachel
City:   yakima,WA
Comments:   very nice article. i really needed this kind of cheer. it has great power to give me back my cofidence and realize i should focus on myself to live better life. thanks a lot!
Name: Shenna
City:   Naga City Bicol,Philippines
Comments:   ..so inspiring and lots of lesson that will help more of insecurities that I´m having now!..your article really injecyed my personality!
Name: kavita
City:   uk
Comments:   very useful tips
Name: anne
City:   Philippines
Comments:   Thanks for the article,it´s very effective in motivating people.Sometimes i also found myself comparing with other people especially those people that i used to be friends and coworkers before.The exact term is "jealousy" For they have nicer job or more beautiful than me now.But after i´ve read your article...I will learn to love myself more,to appreciate things that i have right now to concentrate on my family and go on with my life...Thanks
Name: Kati
City:   India
Comments:   WoW! Gr88888 aritcle
Name: parmodsareen
City:   jaipur (India)
Comments:   suggestions are good but difficult to follow.
Name: Rene
City:   India
Comments:   A very motivating and encouraging article.Its about being yourself and enjoying each moments of life without complaining
Name: Maha
City:   Kuala Lumpur
Comments:   Is good. I always undergrade my self and lack of confident. Today after reading this article, i could treat myself better. Thank you to the editor.
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Comments:   Hi webmaster! bgb
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Comments:   Great! i love Indiaparenting...
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Name: Vic
City:   Nigeria
Comments:   This article made my day i love it! Thank you soooo much.
Name: Vic
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Comments:   This article made my day i love it! Thank you soooo much.
Name: Vic
City:   Lagos nigeria
Comments:   I,love this article it brought joy to me thanks. I will like to comment on Eva from montreal.Eva,please try and see things in the positive way all the time always think about the good thing that u wish to come your way go out more, make friends, smile more,it will light up ur face and u will look attractive.if u can try this, with God you ´ll be a better person.
Name: Vic
City:   Lagos nigeria
Comments:   I,love this article it brought joy to me thanks. I will like to comment on Eva from montreal.Eva,please try and see things in the positive way all the time always think about the good thing that u wish to come your way go out more, make friends, smile more,it will light up ur face and u will look attractive.if u can try this, with God you ´ll be a better person.
Name: Vic
City:   Lagos nigeria
Comments:   I,love this article it brought joy to me thanks. I will like to comment on Eva from montreal.Eva,please try and see things in the positive way all the time always think about the good thing that u wish to come your way go out more, make friends, smile more,it will light up ur face and u will look attractive.if u can try this, with God you ´ll be a better person.
Name: Vic
City:   Lagos nigeria
Comments:   I,love this article it brought joy to me thanks. I will like to comment on Eva from montreal.Eva,please try and see things in the positive way all the time always think about the good thing that u wish to come your way go out more, make friends, smile more,it will light up ur face and u will look attractive.if u can try this, with God you ´ll be a better person.
Name: Vic
City:   Lagos nigeria
Comments:   I,love this article it brought joy to me thanks. I will like to comment on Eva from montreal.Eva,please try and see things in the positive way all the time always think about the good thing that u wish to come your way go out more, make friends, smile more,it will light up ur face and u will look attractive.if u can try this, with God you ´ll be a better person.
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Comments:   Really interesting blog, keep up the good work!
Name: seroquel
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Comments:   Thanks for tris interesting information! I found it very useful =)
Name: Suryansh
City:   Mumbai
Comments:   A nice article......bt in the article u said dat "if we look in the mirror n we r fat, we shud nt match ourself with other gud luking ppl, den y shud we lose weight n work more than others in losing weight....wt does dat mean
Name: Aditi
City:   Mandi
Comments:   Hi..ur articl is nice bt nt easy to folow. I hv a prblm.i m an introvert. Wel to say frankly.i dnt hv much prblm bcz of it bt wen sm1 cmments on my behaviour to my parents dn it hrts me a lot. What should i do. Bcz of it smtimes my parents hates me. And it bcms unbearable.. I lv dm bt i cnt bear deir insult...
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City:   Jodhpur, India Dubai
Comments:   Its always good to read such articles, to coost ourselves with full of positives and brighter persception for life now and ahead....thanks
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