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  GLAD TO BE A WOMAN - by Editor


Today, March 8, is International Woman's Day. It's time to celebrate the fact that you're a woman. Here are just a few of the reasons you should be glad that you belong to the female of the species!
 

BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN

  • We got off the Titanic first. 
  • We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  • We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 
  • Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 
  • We never ejaculate prematurely.
  • We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 
  • We can cry and get off speeding fines. 
  • We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. 
  • Taxis stop for us. 
  • We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......
  • Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 
  • We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 
  • Free drinks, free dinners. 
  • We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
  • We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay. 
  • We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 
  • New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 
  • If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. 
  • It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 
  • No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo. 
  • We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 
  • If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 
  • We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt. 
  • If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 
  • We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 
  • If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 
  • We have the ability to dress ourselves. 
  • We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 
  • If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're well aware that we look like an idiot. 
  • There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems. 
  • We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
  • We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 
  • We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra. 
  • We'll never regret piercing our ears. 


STAGES OF A WOMAN'S LIFE


Age 3

: Looks at herself and sees a queen! 


Age 8

: Looks at herself and sees herself as Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty. 


Age 15

: Looks at herself and sees herself as Fat/Pimples/UGLY (Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!) 


Age 20

: Looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly-- but decides she's going anyway. 


Age 30

: Looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly -- but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going anyway. 


Age 40

: Looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly -- but says, At least I am clean, and goes anyway. 


Age 50

: Looks at herself and sees I am and goes wherever she wants to go. 


Age 60

: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. She goes out and conquers the world. 


Age 70

: Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life. 


Age 80

: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world. 
Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier! 
 

Every Woman Should Have...

  • Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to. 
  • The realization that she is actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it. 
  • A skin care regime, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after age 30. 
  • Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored. 
  • One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry. 
  • Something perfect to wear if the man of her dreams wants to see her in an hour. 
  • A purse and a suitcase that she's not ashamed to be seen carrying. 
  • A youth she's content to move beyond. 
  • A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age. 
  • A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family. 
  • A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded. 
  • A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better. 
  • A feeling of control over her destiny.
  • A set of screwdrivers, a drill and a black lace bra. 


QUOTES

And finally, here are some great quotes by success, funny and wonderful women with attitude and a zest for life. 

'In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything

done, ask a woman.' - Margaret Thatcher

'I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage

and a career.' - Gloria Steinem


'Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.' - Gloria Steinem

'You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see

a smart woman with a dumb guy.' - Erica Jong

'I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything

that feels good for 36 hours!' - Rita Rudner

'Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.'- Erma Bombeck

'If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.' - Sue Grafton

'I think, therefore I'm single.' - Lizz Winstead

'When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade

another country.' - Elayne Boosler


'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.' - Maryon Pearson

'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.'- Eleanor Roosevelt
 


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Comments on Article

Name: Madhura
City:   london
Comments:   Really enjoyed reading this. Made me laugh :), especially getting old and wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers
Name: tina
City:   toronto
Comments:   hhahah...great article....i loved it...
Name: Jeremy
City:   ny, ny
Comments:   HAH! This is the bomb! it rocks. Great work. Any man not insecure about his masculinity will enjoy reading this.
Name: Jen
City:   Scotland
Comments:   how true that all was, great laugh, Im sending it to all my friends,
Name: Indy Singh
City:   Ireland
Comments:   The article was wicked!..:o)...really enjoyed reading it...liked the way the guy PRADEEP from Jersey City reacted towards it...lol
Name: gudi
City:   ny
Comments:   the articles gr888...i must say!pradeep,u need 2 make urself feel more comfortable wid ur masculanity!
Name: Lucia
City:   Barstow
Comments:   This article put a smile on my face and in my heart. I still remember trying to convince my family that my name was Cinderella.
Name: men
City:   in
Comments:   hi GIRLS, MEN will always be MEN and nothing can change them It starts with MEN and ends with MEN ONLY In bible, WOMAN cheated and GOD cursed WOMAN that she will bear pain in pregancy SO WOMEN READY TO BEAR THE PAINNULLNULLNULLNULL
Name: Truth Bringer
City:   The real world
Comments:   This is nothing but feminist propaganda. Since we live in an equal rights society, then I have no problem using women for nothing more than money. I mean we do live in an equal rights society rightNULL So that would also mean that a man has to be let through a door first as equally as a woman does. And yes, yes it is domestic abuse when a woman hits a man in any form just as it is when a man hits a woman. Sort out your double standard belief system and stop wasting time in trying to indentify with this feminist propaganda, it isn't "cute" and its not "funny".
Name: haha
City:   ny
Comments:   nice
Name: Rabia
City:   Islamabad
Comments:   WOW! this article really made my day.. and it applies to everyone :D gr8 job!
Name: Nav
City:   Vancouver
Comments:   wow! This article is just mindblowing really good...!!
Name: wouldnt u like to no
City:   out of ur reach
Comments:   hey truth bringer...lighten up a bit pal
Name: nnn
City:   Ernakulam
Comments:   I found it good for as I remembered my mother in that stage
Name: Sword
City:   Heaven
Comments:   Really needed this page right now in my life! Thank you so much for bringing this to me! To Truth Bringer: Im sorry that you might be a woman hater or user, and that your life mustve been rough. Have love in your heart for others, not resentment. Were not all bad! Feminist propagandaNULL Maybe you need some Truth brought to you, seeing that you are in a state of denial about men(perhaps men like you with a chip on their shoulder that won't go away). You have no problem using women for nothing more than money? Pal, that is a problem! Do you tell your women this TRUTHFULLY!? Or do you lead them to believe your LIES because you are TRULY a LIE BRINGER!
Name: Sword
City:   Heaven
Comments:   To Men from in: Sin enters ONLY through the man. This is why Mary bear the Christ child and not Joseph. If Joseph bear the Christ child, we would have NO HOPE in entering Heaven since sin is not allowed in Heaven. God created Adam the world needed more than mere men God created Eve with Adams ribwomen were to be equal with man, not above nor below manequal, side by side. Adam was standing side by side with Eve, probably egging her on to try the apple (first) so he could blame her for sin entering the worldas Adam did blame Eve. Likely! Read your bible before quoting, please.
Name: Bookworm
City:   Bookstore
Comments:   Guys are not tough enough to bear children--women are. Guys need applause each time they draw a straight line--women don't. Guys find it difficult to think logically, emotionally, and spiritually--women find it comes naturally to them.
Name: Deepti
City:   Hyderabad
Comments:   Enjoyed reading the article.
Name: Katrina
City:   Calafornia
Comments:   OK this is nothing to do with this subject but does anyone know how to get tallerNULL
Name: fairyprincess
City:   fairyland
Comments:   i just love this article... it's so hilarious and so true! =] EVERY women should read it!
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