Can you think of anything else apart from yelling or shouting at your child when you are angry with him or her? Read about the top 10 things to do when you are angry with your child.It is not unusual to get angry at your kid’s tantrums – every parent gets angry. Anger shows as a warning that something is wrong and calls for a change. But more often you get angry, more defensive your child becomes, and as he or she has seen a lot of this, he or she will stop caring about your anger. You need to control your anger not only for this, but also because you are the role model for your child. You must want your child to be mature controlling his or her own anger instead of losing temper often following you. Here are 10 things which you should do when you are
angry with your child.
1. Remind Yourself of Your Rules on Getting Angry
Set limits of do’s and don’ts and teach them to your child to know the same. Often you get angry because you have not set any limit yet. Once the limits are set and your kid is crossing it, you can warn him or her, without
yelling at him or her about the rule.
2. Keep Yourself Happy and Calm
Breathe heavily, remind yourself that it is not a big issue, take more deep breaths – find a way to laugh, which throws the tension away and changes your mood – put some music and dance, force yourself to be happy, count alphabets in reverse order.
3. Learn from Your Anger
Do not hit or yell just when you get angry, analyse the reason behind getting angry. You may have fought with your spouse or had a bad day with your boss and finally yelling at your kid – this is unfair.
4. Avoid Expressing Your Anger
Expressing your anger at your kid is not good as that will prove that you are right and the other person is wrong. This can hurt the person and causes a rift in the relationship. It is always advisable to find the reason of the anger and work on it calmly.
5. Take Your Own Time
When you are very angry but do not want to discharge that on your kid, ask your kid that you cannot talk then and you need time to recover. Your child will understand the importance of the situation and would not dare to do it again, as exiting does not let your child win.
6. Do Not Raise Your Hands
When you feel like hitting your child, you must remind yourself that
spanking always has a negative impact on the child’s development stage. Spanking may give you relief for sometime as you discharge your irritation along with that, but it may leave a very bad impact on your child that can lead to a deadly violence in future.
Analyse the reason of anger, ask your kid that he or she has done a wrong thing, and frame a time to discuss it later, so that he or she gets a time-limit to retaliate himself or herself in a better situation. This helps to keep yelling and screaming at bay.
8. Use Words Wisely
Do not use abusive words when you lose your mind. Try to be calm, breathe heavily. Use simple and wise words when to make your child understand that he or she should not do a certain thing. Do not swear or other charged words.
9. Do Not Threaten Your Kid
If you give a threat to your kid that you will not allow him or her to watch
TV for some reason for a week, make sure you follow the same. Otherwise your kid will undermine your authority and will not follow the rules.
10. Choose Your Battles
It is you who will decide whether the socks that are thrown abruptly on the floor by your kid is important than putting the relationship between you and your kid at stake. So you need to talk to your kid and make him or her understand his or her fault instead of getting angry unnecessarily.
If you still are angry, look for the underlying feelings. It shields you from being vulnerable. Your child will learn to control his or her anger form you itself. So it is only you how you take anger and react.
How can parents control their anger? What should parents do when they feel like yelling at kids or hitting kids? Are there any constructive ways which parents can follow to express anger? Discuss here.
