Beauty & Grooming  Discussion Forum

recently my family decided that the sacred thread ceremony,also known as upanayanam would be held for my twin brother, raghav.mom and me decided that it had to be a proper and traditional ceremony,and all the rituals had to be conducted thoroughly,including the headshave(full bald except a tuft of hair known locally as kudimi),ear boring of the boy,begging for alms and the whole lot of rituals which last for 2 whole days.

i have some queries regarding raghav' s headshave and some miscellaneous doubts,could anyone please help me,


first of all,can the headshave be done in a saloon or is it necessary that it has to be done in a temple?also is a one time headshave enough or should it be done regularly?

then,for what duration should we make him wear the earrings and any restrictions on the make of earrings etc?

what should he wear during the ceremony?(i have seen many boys wearing only loincloth during the ceremony,so should it be that?)

being his twin sister(though i am elder) what is my role in the ceremony?

what if raghav hesitates or refuses to undergo the rituals?,should we force the rituals on him?(me being stronger,he obeys me)

since last month we have banned non veg items for raghav(including egg) ,is there anything more we have to do ? and me being a hard core non veg eater,i feel bad for raghav!

can the ear piercing be done before the headshave or is there any specific order?

how long must ragahavs hair be,so that after the headshave,the length of kudimi is correct?

i would like to make raghav wear some jewelleries,what do you think?

thank you
anuradha replied. hello divya,
there is no need to get excited being nude during this ceremony its part of this function, but being nude its depend on age of boy, so its not compulsory for every boy . nisha replied. hello divya,
as per my knowledge in this ceremony, the brahmin boy allowed to keep only little tuft of hair on head, and all remaining head should be shave, and its look good also. anuradah replied. hello divya,
i m really very shocked to know your desire to see your brother nude, so its not look good and your brother also feel shy in front of his sister he got nude, so dont feel excitement in this. sunita replied. hello divya,
the head shave you talk about its done in temple only like at temple particular place, where the person who want to give hair to god, then can give, so its good thing, and no one
can force to anyone to do this. anushka replied. hello divya,
first of all congratulations for you brother for this ceremony.i really dont understand why you are show excitement to see your brother naked and you are more interested in see his private part. Saloni replied. headshave should be done in temple and raghav if ur brother is not so comfortable with doing piercing then u should not force him, he agrees then there is no such time limit that he should wear earings he can left wearing earing after the 5 days of ceremony also.u should avoid eating on non veg all the people in the house. his hair should be at least 2 inches long for the kudimi. u cann give him chain to wear and rings in the hand. maya replied. headshave should be done in temple but if raghav ur brother is not so comfortable with doing piercing then u should not force him to do if he agrees then there is no such time limit that he should wear earings he can left wearing earing after the 5 days of ceremony also. it is not necessary to done headshave regularly. yes boys do wear orange or yellow colord pants and lioncloth. u might not have any role in the upanayana as he has his twin sister. u should avoid eating on non veg all the people in the house. his hair should be at least 2 inches long for the kudimi. u cann give him chain to wear and rings in the hand. Prathik replied. Hi Divya, here is the first brave boy to comment on your thread. First of all my hearty congratulations to your brother for the ceremony he will undergo in few weeks time. Secondly, why are you so eager to see your bother naked and excited to see his parts? In one of your comments you mentioned \" I simply like the way his parts look!\" Does it mean you already seen his parts before?? How old is your brother?? Hope his parts aren' t too big to scare off everyone! divya replied. i m back!,the ceremony is to be held in 2 weeks,and i can' t control my excitement.thanks for all your comments.I also noticed not a single boy has commented here,are boys afraid?anyways,I ll be posting soon Sameera replied. I am shocked to know that you desire to see your brother nude. This a shocking thing which can happen in any head shave ceremony. I am also shocked to know that you guys will be permanently making the poor guy bald...i feel sad for the poor boy who will have to undergo all this things...Head-shave is find but I shocked to know about permanent head removal. divya replied. The sacred thread ceremony for my brother is to be held in 1 and half months,all preparations are going in full swing.Thank you all for your replies and suggestions.I will give an update as to what is happening.when asked by my mom if i would like to perform the ceremonies i said a big \" YES\" ,so my lap will be the place where raghav' s head will be shaved,ears will be pierced and some other rituals would be performed.the headshave and other rituals are to be done in the hall itself.
Now,about raghav,he has more than shoulder length hair.we have put two plaits with a center part to his hair.we have bought all the jewels required for him,i will post that in another post.also after his head shave we have decided to do a permanent hair removal procedure for his head hair,so that he would be bald always and regular headshaves would not be required,what to do you think of it?.also we still have to decide what clothes would raghav wear ,if at all he would be allowed to wear clothes for the ceremony.i personally prefer him to be in the nude,because i simply like the way his parts look !:p
and i can have pleasure teasing him.also i have had a lot of fun these days and expecting more! will post about the jewellery experiences and more next priya replied. there are 3 methods for doing upanayanam,one is doing just for the sake of it,the second doing it in detail,the third taking it to the extreme,so the choice is with you and your mom,recently my nephew had his upanayanam done and it was absolute in the sense that every ritual was done COMPLETELY and not just for namesake.i completely relished it,so it is YOUR choice though i would definitely recommend the 3rd choice,

it doesn' t really matter,usually the boys are shaved at the place where the ceremony takes place in front of everyone.after the removal of hair,you can apply any hair remover on his bald head,it will give a smooth and shiny look and it will be nicer to touch as well and delay the onset of new hair

atleast till a nice big hole appears in his lobes.any earrings which suit him well will do.

as minimal clothing as possible,it would be better if he was in a pure state,ie nude.

you will essentially control what all things(rituals) are done on the boy,and ofcourse have good food and have fun!

physical force makes boys to become sissies

shoulder length hair would be correct.

definitely some jewellery is required as the boy is atmost allowed to wear a piece of cloth,thus making him look plain.my nephew who was clothed in a one piece loincloth looked plain,so an entire bridal set was used on him.so you can also put something like that

Tia replied. Thank you sooo mcuh... now i no what it means.. sindhuja replied. i feel it is better to do the head shaving in a temple,because it is more authentic and proper shaving using a blade is done unlike a parlor where trimmers are used,you could also do the shaving in the hall/wherever you are going to perform the ceremony.

wearing the earrings is very beneficial ,so as long as possible he should be made to wear the earrings.if your brother hesitates/protests wearing the earring,with the help of a goldsmith,you can the solder the earrings to his ear,thus making it impossible to remove.by make do you mean type? any type of earrings is permitted,but go for traditional,heavy ones as they are long lasting and robust.

for the headshave he HAS to be naked,but for the rest he can wear a loincloth,or if you want he can be made naked,though he will definitely feel shy .also the loincloth must be of silk.

you have to bless him,and you can do the rituals directly on him,if you are interested.

take him on your knee,drop his pants,and
couple of hits later,i am sure he will listen to you.

he must not take alcohol,also masturbation is strictly banned.

you can probably make him anklets and if you want more piercings can be made in his lobe,at the maximum 3 earrings,on each side
tia replied. Friends i really dont have any knowledge about what you all are talking.. please explain me what is Upanayanam summers replied. hi divya
if u want to follow full tradition, then ur brother should be full nude (depends on his age also) during the headshave. If he is less than 14 it is not a problem you can make him nude and do the headshave in the home itself infront of the elders. If he is more than 14 yrs you can let him wear kovanam(loin cloth) covering only his front part. Since you are the only sister he should sit on ur lap during mottai. first cut should be done by u. If u r planning to do it in saloon u can do it normally but he must be made nude and shaved a little at home for formality.

if you are planning to do make him nude ask him to make sure he had shaved his private areas cleanly before the ceremony. after the headshave you can let hime wear loincloth for the rest of the cermony.

ear ring and head shave duration shall be decided by you and his comfort level. you can do it for a month may be. dont let him take of the kudumi till hair grows in other areas of head.

srinidhi replied. dear divya
i am very happy to hear that you are performing the upanayanam of your brother,
congratulations!
as long as he is tonsured it doent really matter,but usually the tonsure takes place in the hall/house/temple where the upanyanam is done.also make sure not to use the shaving machine,as it does not remove all the hair.so use a blade to shave raghav.ofcourse you have to do shave him regularly.once in a week is perfect,but 2 weeks are accepted.

its your discretion,any earring is fine.

it depends on your family practice,some places a dhoti is allowed,other places the boy is allowed to wear only a loincloth,but i have seen boys nude during the ceremony as well.i think for raghav a silk loincloth would be good enough.

your role will be very important,being elder you have to bless him

yes

non veg food is a strict no-no for the boy,even onion and garlic might be avoided.being a brahmin boy has its downsides,so you need not feel bad for him,and continue eating meat,the protein is essential for girls.

the order doent matter.

yes i think that is a good idea and the other jewelleries will complement the earrings.