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Hair Care:Married in a Very Othodox family

2012-05-25

Name: Smitha R Hi all, I am Smitha, 24 yrs, studied B.Tech. I am born in a very orthodox brahmin family from A.P and married a year ago in a very very orthodox brahmin family from Tamilnadu. All of them from my in-laws familyare very king and good. But if a mistake is committed they will never leave anyone without punishing them (as per the customs and traditions).An incident which happened in my life has now made me to face a very rigorous punishment. When i was studying, i had a very nice friend who is male. But i never had any affair with him. But i never knew that he loved me and wanted to marry me. I got married when he had to attend his family at the time of his motherÂ´ s demise. He was shocked for the news of my marriage. No he has approached my husand after 1 yr of my married life and asking him to agree to remarry me. This turned into a serious situation. My inlaws and my husband are very angry with me and my parents. As a result all of them have come to a conclusion that i can stay with my husband only if i get my head tonstured in balaji temple at Tirumala once in 5 yrs through out my life until everyone settle with no suspects on me. Friends there is no mistake of mine. But still i am punished.

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2013-02-08

Name: another woman
Subject:

ur family is barbaric

i would strongly suggest u to divorce ur husband, and leav him, stay alone or get married to that lover itself. if u husband truly loved u, he would have trusted u and wouldn' t have let u undergo this pain. ur husband and inlaws are not worth this torture..i beg u..please leave him and lead a dignified life. don be like other girls who prefer to be tortured rather than leave husband. dignified living is the best way to live...

2012-07-12

Name: Chaitanya
Subject:

with no faul o yours....

Dear Smitha,

with no fault of yours your are given punishment to shave your head.

YOu & Lord Venkatesha knows the truth.
Take this punishment in a good way & offer your hairs to Lord by devotion.
Tell the Lord that he knows everything, the truth, he will bring the truth in front of all one day.
Your college mate will be exposed.

Have faith in Lord, he will tak care.

God Bless !!!

Chaitanya

2012-06-07

Name: mitra
Subject:

head shave

Hi...I am married recently. I am having buttock length hair. My hubby is asking me to shave my head once and keep boy cut or short bob in the remaining life. I am feeling shy for head shave as I am staying with my in-laws and what may be their reaction and what should I tell for my head shave. My hubby is very soft and he is telling that this is only an advise and he told that I will look georgeous even in shaved head as well as in short bob or boy cut. I am having lot of love on my hubby. Pl give advise.

2013-02-08

Name: another woman
Subject:

stand up to ur feelings

if u don like to cut it or shave it, pls don do it. if u love ur husband that much, then pls tellhim in a very loving way and the most affectiionate way that u r not willing to go through this. if he too loves u that much, then he will respect ur feelings and he will understand and wont force u.

2012-06-10

Name: Preeti
Subject:

Boy cut is the best1

Dear Mitra

I am Preeti. I enjoyed both tonsure and boy cut for some time. Right now I am growing hair to have a braid for next year´ s Venidaan at Prayag. After that it will be only short boy cut for me.

Good to know that you have hip length hair and that you are with your in-laws. I suggest the following:
1. Take the concurrence of your in-laws. If they say ´ do not cut your hair´ then do not cut it. Tell your husband ´ no´ .
2. If your in-laws agree for your tonsure, then happily get tonsured at a religious place of your choice, preferably Tirupati or Prayag. Then I suggest that you grow back the hair to its full length. You can tonsure again after say six or seven years. It is highly enjoyable.

3. But after tonsure you like to keep short hair and your in-laws agree, then please go for a short boy cut - not more than half inch hair on sides and back. I used to get it fully machined to skin. It is both convenient and looks good. A bob may look good but certainly not convenient.

4. With a boy cut, you can enjoy a tonsure every year or at least every two years.

Wish you a happy boy cut life.

2012-06-04

Name: vidyaa
Subject:

gud to tonsure:)

dont worry abt tonsure smitha go and shave ur head cme to gmail i will share my headshave experience!!!!i sented my request in ur gmail id !!!!!!!!come lets chat!

2012-06-08

Name: shn
Subject:

headshave experience

i too wanna haave my head shaved. i would like to know someone´ s expeerience as i´ m scared. would u share it with me as well?

2012-05-25

Name: Radha
Subject:

Good to tonsure!

Dear Smitha, cheer up!

I am Radha (refer to my earlier posting dated 2009-06-02 as reply to Jothi and subsequent postings). I got my head nicely shaved two weeks after my marriage. That was due to a vow to get a husband. And I felt so good about getting a tonsure and going around bald that I feel so happy getting the five yearly family tonsure which is a custom in my in-laws' household. May 2011, we had our family tonsure and I felt so joyous in shedding my 5 year growth and subsequently going around bald. Now I have about 8 inch growth.

Your in-laws asking you to tonsure every five years may be a punishment to you in their view. But you need not consider it as such. Rather you can treat it as joyful atonement for unknown sins committed by you (every human commits many sins unknowingly) and a religious duty to strengthen your married life. And please learn to do this with piety and happily. You will enjoy it and will be looking forward to the five yearly tonsures.

And don' t bother about what others say. Give a broad smile and tell them it is a vow for getting married.

So, shed all sorrow and enjoy the Tirupati tonsure. Best of luck!

2012-05-25

Name: udaykumar
Subject:

hi smitha this is uday as u said ur in a orthodox brahmin family now ur part of ur husband family
it is better to go for headshave in tirupathi for once
and u should convince ur husband that there will be no headshave again
going against him makes him and his family to be more cruel towards u
offering ur hair to god in tirupathi is a very devotional thing so dont worry and get hesitate happily offer ur hair the lord venkateswara

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