Relationships  Discussion Forum

hii,
i am a women from delhi who was married 4 years ago to a man who was a devil.after my marriage i came to know that he had some defect in his leg ..i thougth i will still adjust and give love ...but slowly i camne to know that he earned nothing ...he said to my parents that he has a shop but i realised that he was lying ...i had no moneyto even eat food ..there were days when i had to go without even morning tea ...leave alone something tio eat....on top of that he wanted me to have sex with him even if my stomach was emoty......i got prewgnant .....iwas starving ...so my mother bought me home ...i lived there with my 2 elder brothers andd bhabhi...but though they gave me food and support i had to hear a lot from them ..once my brother beat me ....ok i delivered a baby girl.....my hubby came and took me back after 4 months of delivery.......again i had nothing to eat ..no money to go to doctor....one night my daughter was having loose motin...and was crying too much ...my husband wanted to have sex .....again and again...i scolded him that cant you see that our child is sick ....he told me that i will be happy with you till you satisfy me ...and the day i get bored this girl (my baby)will then make me happy.....i was shoked ......i came to my mothers house .....and never wanted to go back ther again.....seeing this my brothers and mother went for a settelment and asked for rs one lakh form my inlaws ..they had s[pent one lakh in my marriage .....my inlaws gave the money and go t me seperategd from my husband .......but life had another challange for me ...to live in another hell with my brothers ...whwrei will get food and clothes ....but with lots lots of comments ...daily i have to fight with thenm .....once my brother picked up my daughter and said i will throw he down i begged and cried and got her back ....maany tim,es he beat me also ...my mother is also woith thenm b cos she wants to give all money to them and knows that they will keep her name.....today my daughter is 3 an d half years of age .....i dont know how will i get her admitted tio good school ........i cannot go to any ngos or police because if i do so i will be on streets again......
i am a BAin sanskrit ...i cannoty speak proper english but can read and write.....ii searched for job but ...failed ...men lokk at me with hungry eyes ..i diont want to leave my daughter at home to my brothers also and goi for job.........please some body help my any way..........i dont know what will happen tommorow ...... friend replied. Dear Raksha,
am apalled to read ur story. aparently the first thing u have to do is to get independent financially. Dear I dont think there is any shame in doing even a menial to menial job if it can bring u one roti and self respect. There r a lot of courses u can do like beautician,sewing,u seem to know a little computer too refine this knowledge. U can teach as well in any small school. So far as prying eyes of men r concerned - dont tell anyone ur sob story ... face the word with confidence n inner strength...if u r strong n careful no one dare pry u. Himmat kar ke bahar duniya main toh nikalna padega dear...u will have to face the world if u want to give a good life to ur daughter n good future for urself. Living at home as well situation is not improving is it??U can take ur daughter with u, or drop her at some trustworthy relative's place for sometime n then when u get financially strong u can afford a good creche. I myself had to go out n face the world a few yrs back ( though in unlike ur circumstances. The world is full of women who faced all the prying eyes, difficult circustances n still came out strong. If u can do it so can u....all it takes is strength and faith in god. I pray for u...best of luck dear do keep us posted on ur situation PN replied. have you thought of it? there are many widowers who want to remarry? i know it will be some adjustment but atleast you will have some security.. cd replied. Go to NGO's.explain your problem to them. you need to be financially stable. i cant believe your mother too deonst help you in anyway.
find a job, put your daughter at a baby sitter.
find some jopb, maybe you can cook at home. teach sanskrit in schools. do something. dont be a fallen woman. if you are then people will opress you, but if you are strong then people will keep their distance..
do you have any money at all? find a rental place to live, slowly start again.

hope to you..
shakthi replied. I am so shocked by your story.....Please do not give up on life and think that you have no way out. You have a daughter, and you are a woman - meaning you have reserves of strength that you dont even know about.

It is time for you to stand up and take responsibility for you and your daughter's life. I am sure there are NGOs who will be able to put you up temporarily, rather than let you stay in this unbearable situation. Have you thought of approaching some ashram or shelter or convent or something like that - just for a little while.

You are an educated woman - you need to stand up for your daughter, or she will never know a happy childhood and will grow up in this misery.

Find a temporary sanctuary and leave. Then get yourself a job and enroll your daughter in a school. Dont look at things like your prestige or the prestige of ur family - your child is your family and you need to leave in order to protect her.

Take care,
Shakthi