I am 25 and recently married a year ago.I am lucky earlier to have a good husband.He allowed me to continue and encouraged for my Engineering education after marriage and looks after me with care.
The problem is a classmate of mine have come with a proposal to marry me and confessed that he loves me a lot even though if i am married.I am tensed and disclosed all to my husband.
After few days my hubby came with two options for me to decide.They r either to stop my education or have a headshave for the rest of the period I need to pursue in that college.I understood that he suspects me a lot.Since I am in the first yr Engineering I cant have my headshave for such longer period.It will we very much embarassing for a woman to have a continuous headshave and expose the pat without a scarf which was my husband' s condition.
Friends help me out to decide the matter.
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Dear Friends,
I am 25 and recently married a year ago.I am lucky earlier to have a good husband.He allowed me to continue and encouraged for my Engineering education after marriage and looks after me with care.
The problem is a classmate of mine have come with a proposal to marry me and confessed that he loves me a lot even though if i am married.I am tensed and disclosed all to my husband.
After few days my hubby came with two options for me to decide.They r either to stop my education or have a headshave for the rest of the period I need to pursue in that college.I understood that he suspects me a lot.Since I am in the first yr Engineering I cant have my headshave for such longer period.It will we very much embarassing for a woman to have a continuous headshave and expose the pat without a scarf which was my husband' s condition.
Friends help me out to decide the matter.
khushali replied. hey friends i have been asked to shave my head cuz many guys are attracted towards my hair and this thing my husband knows very well... what should i do?? please help cuz i really luv my hair and dont want to shave it..
Jaya replied. Dear Spandana,
How are you? You are not interacting on messageboard for quite sometime. Perhaps you are very busy with your studies.How were your subsequent tonsure experiences? If you go through the other posts you will find that quite a few young girls pursuing either prestigious degrees or successful professionals have tonsured for various reasons and are boldly going to college/ workplace after hs. Hope the guy who used to disturb you at college has stopped doing so. Would very much appreciate if you send your before and after hs photos to jaya.sett on rediffmail. By the way which state are you from and where is your hometown?
Bye for now.
bindu replied. ru still shaving ur head
Priya replied. Seeing ur postings, I cant help but think that u are married to a psycho! When he suspects u so much I only feel u are investing too much time and unnecessary emotional trauma into a marriage thats not going to be worth it. In my personal opinion I think he wanted u to discontinue ur studies and that is why he asked u to tonsure ur head every 10 days in the hope that u wouldn' t agree and just quit!!! Even if u do complete ur studies with a bald head and satisfy ur hubby, ur problems will begin again once u start working. He is going to be highly suspicious of u mingling with ur co-workers. Spare urself the trauma and bid adieu to the sick psycho!!!
jaya replied. My dear Spandana,
Thank you again for your prompt response.I hope you are regularly attending college and the classmate who was bothering you earlier has not irritated you any more. Reading your last message I felt that you are still a little upset with your tonsured look. Since you will be having headshaves regularly for a while please try to be cheerful and enjoy the experience to the utmost. I suggest you pursuade your hubby to join with you from the next tonsure onwards. That way you will have company and when you will go out together you two will make a stunningly gorgeous couple. Actually in my opinion most of the guys look much more handsome and macho when they tonsure. Why do you say your appearance is ugly now? I' m sure it isn' t. You only look different now.You already confessed in your meesage to Radha that your hubby enjoyed your bald look just after your first headshave. So it is apparent that you are now attractive in a new way. If your husband likes you can wear western dresses more such as jeans and short top, long skirts with blouses etc with light makeup and do wear big eardanglers. They look glamourous on tonsured ladies.But remember to dress down and be simply attired in college, otherwise the romeo there may perk up again.
By the way, have you retained your long thick locks with you after tonsure? Since you have not offered them to any temple if they have been retained you can later have hair extension made out of it in form of nice bun/plait etc so that when you will start growing your hair back again you can use them from the time you get ponytail length. Be cheerful my friend and study hard enough to be the topper in your batch. These four years will pass away like breeze.
For encouragement read Prajna' s and Sharenya Kumar' s posts narrating their very exciting tonsure experiences in this discussion forum.
Bye for now. Have a happy tonsure hopefully with hubby on 23rd.
jaya replied. thanks for your prompt response. will get in touch with you soon.
BUBLA replied. My dear spandana,I am not at all irritated for your question.When my husband gave me the proposal,at first I did not understand what was saying actualy.Initially I was very shocked.I liked my hair much & it was nearer to my hips.I told my hubby that without hair I looked very ugly.But I would not disrespect his continous request. Next day I went to Kalyankatta with my husband but not able to convince myself & returned back to our cottage without gundu done.Atlast my husband bring one barber on the nextday who convinced me & ultimately completed my headshave.I was literally crying during my headshave.The baber took fifteen-twenty minutes approximately to complete my headshave.As per mu hubby' s instruction he shaves my head repeatedly in different directions & I had some burning sensation all over my scalp.As because I was so embarrassed, I won' t bother for my husband reactions.Though my hubby was very happiest person to see me bald.Initially I did not want to expose my baldlook in front of others,but when everybody appreciated me for being bald,I got confidence & never covered my pate.I confidently face world with my smooth,shining baldpate. What about your experience before, during & after headshave? Please share your headshave experience & procedure.Please send your photograph to my e mail id.I will send you mine.
Bye Bye.
jaya replied. Hi,
I am new to this site. I read your message, the various responses to your friends and must congratulate you for your rare courage and determination. You remained focussed on your goal of completing the engineering degree inspite of all odds.You will definitely come out with flying colours. I feel that gradually you will come to like the regular headshaves as summer months are approaching and you will get more time for your studies since you are now spared of caring for your hair.This also is the time to take care of your clean scalp with herbs such as neem paste, hibiscus etc to stimulate the hair roots so that when you will grow back your hair again after completion of degree you will become a Repunzel. Though for the time your husband appeared very strict but I' m sure he will love you a lot more as you have been so compliant and devoted.Please share the experience of your next headshave when it will be done. How long hair did you have before tonsure? Have you offered the tonsured hair to god ? What is the opinion of your parents regarding the whole issue ? Please give a reply . Bye for now.
BUBLA replied. Dear Spandana,
I have gone through your entire message & like to share my experience which is quite similar like you.I have shaved my long hair on middle of April,2009 during our visit to Tirupati & it was not well planned.At that time we went to Chennai for a holiday trip & as per our schedule we visited Tirupati at last.Reached at Tirupati,my hubby suddenly expressed his six years old desire that he wanted to see me bald.As Tirupati was the right place for headshave of a woman where nobody would ask any question.After a 24 hours battle both inside & outside,I agreed & tonsured my head at Tirupati.Here started my bald days,coming back from Tirupati my husband used to shave my head almost everyday for complete two months.As everybody including my family members,my frinds,neighbours appreciated my bald look,I have to continue my headshaving after two months.My hubby arranged one local barber who used to come every sunday & shave my head with a straight razor.It continued for another three to four months period & I always kept my bald pate open & exposed in home as well as outside.If you want to discuss more write me.
rahul replied. Dear spandana K
my suggestion is you should happily accept the repeadted headshave to complete the studies,because hair will grow,
Radha replied. Dear Spandana
A good husband is difficult to get. Husband and children are more lasting and fulfilling than an engineering degree. Though there is nothing wrong in having a continuous headshave for four years, it is a bit undone so far. And if you look good with head shave (I find most young women very beautiful with a headshave. I do not know about how a majority of men feel about it) the man will continue to trouble you. So that is not a solution at all.
I suggest that you go for a compromise solution as follows which you must convince your husband.
1. For the next four years you will shave once every year and keep the hair a short boy cut in the remaining period.
2. Warn that boy that you will complain to the police. Avoid him totally.
3. If this condition of your husband is a camouflage of your husband in getting you to be a gundu (nothing wrong in desiring his wife to be bald once in a while) once in a while, then promise him that you will shave once every few years after the degree ' but now will you please let me complete my studies with hair on?'
4. If he does not agree even for that, then there is not option but to remain bald continuously for four years. A really nice experience it will be. I have shaved three times in about 12 years so far and it is so joyous that often I have longed to shave regularly for a year.
5. The last option is quit studies, get pregnant fast and look after kids and home. And nothing wrong with that either. If you want a degree get a BA or BCom through distance education.
Hansledwnk replied. If you want studies then accept headshave and continue. If you feel you cannot goto college then you have to stop studying. Its in your hands. Going to college with headshave is a bit uncomfortable in beginning but after a few weeks you get used to it.
So you can continue your studies by having headshave.
2012-11-19
#1
Name: khushali Subject: nahiii
hey friends i have been asked to shave my head cuz many guys are attracted towards my hair and this thing my husband knows very well... what should i do?? please help cuz i really luv my hair and dont want to shave it..
2012-11-28
#2
Name: khushali Subject: sum1 would reply
i thought at least someone would reply
2011-03-16
#3
Name: Jaya Subject: Hi Spandana
Dear Spandana,
How are you? You are not interacting on messageboard for quite sometime. Perhaps you are very busy with your studies.How were your subsequent tonsure experiences? If you go through the other posts you will find that quite a few young girls pursuing either prestigious degrees or successful professionals have tonsured for various reasons and are boldly going to college/ workplace after hs. Hope the guy who used to disturb you at college has stopped doing so. Would very much appreciate if you send your before and after hs photos to jaya.sett on rediffmail. By the way which state are you from and where is your hometown?
Bye for now.
2011-02-26
#4
Name: bindu Subject: surprised
ru still shaving ur head
2011-02-22
#5
Name: Priya Subject: Divorce ur husband
Seeing ur postings, I cant help but think that u are married to a psycho! When he suspects u so much I only feel u are investing too much time and unnecessary emotional trauma into a marriage thats not going to be worth it. In my personal opinion I think he wanted u to discontinue ur studies and that is why he asked u to tonsure ur head every 10 days in the hope that u wouldn' t agree and just quit!!! Even if u do complete ur studies with a bald head and satisfy ur hubby, ur problems will begin again once u start working. He is going to be highly suspicious of u mingling with ur co-workers. Spare urself the trauma and bid adieu to the sick psycho!!!
2011-02-19
#6
Name: jaya Subject: Spandana´ s response on 18/2/11
My dear Spandana,
Thank you again for your prompt response.I hope you are regularly attending college and the classmate who was bothering you earlier has not irritated you any more. Reading your last message I felt that you are still a little upset with your tonsured look. Since you will be having headshaves regularly for a while please try to be cheerful and enjoy the experience to the utmost. I suggest you pursuade your hubby to join with you from the next tonsure onwards. That way you will have company and when you will go out together you two will make a stunningly gorgeous couple. Actually in my opinion most of the guys look much more handsome and macho when they tonsure. Why do you say your appearance is ugly now? I' m sure it isn' t. You only look different now.You already confessed in your meesage to Radha that your hubby enjoyed your bald look just after your first headshave. So it is apparent that you are now attractive in a new way. If your husband likes you can wear western dresses more such as jeans and short top, long skirts with blouses etc with light makeup and do wear big eardanglers. They look glamourous on tonsured ladies.But remember to dress down and be simply attired in college, otherwise the romeo there may perk up again.
By the way, have you retained your long thick locks with you after tonsure? Since you have not offered them to any temple if they have been retained you can later have hair extension made out of it in form of nice bun/plait etc so that when you will start growing your hair back again you can use them from the time you get ponytail length. Be cheerful my friend and study hard enough to be the topper in your batch. These four years will pass away like breeze.
For encouragement read Prajna' s and Sharenya Kumar' s posts narrating their very exciting tonsure experiences in this discussion forum.
Bye for now. Have a happy tonsure hopefully with hubby on 23rd.
2011-02-19
#7
Name: jaya Subject: Spandana´ s response on 18/2/11
thanks for your prompt response. will get in touch with you soon.
2011-02-19
#8
Name: BUBLA Subject: Bubla´ s head tonsure
My dear spandana,I am not at all irritated for your question.When my husband gave me the proposal,at first I did not understand what was saying actualy.Initially I was very shocked.I liked my hair much & it was nearer to my hips.I told my hubby that without hair I looked very ugly.But I would not disrespect his continous request. Next day I went to Kalyankatta with my husband but not able to convince myself & returned back to our cottage without gundu done.Atlast my husband bring one barber on the nextday who convinced me & ultimately completed my headshave.I was literally crying during my headshave.The baber took fifteen-twenty minutes approximately to complete my headshave.As per mu hubby' s instruction he shaves my head repeatedly in different directions & I had some burning sensation all over my scalp.As because I was so embarrassed, I won' t bother for my husband reactions.Though my hubby was very happiest person to see me bald.Initially I did not want to expose my baldlook in front of others,but when everybody appreciated me for being bald,I got confidence & never covered my pate.I confidently face world with my smooth,shining baldpate. What about your experience before, during & after headshave? Please share your headshave experience & procedure.Please send your photograph to my e mail id.I will send you mine.
Bye Bye.
2011-02-21
#9
Name: Spandana Subject: Headshave for suspect
Hi Bubla,
My husbby did not take any fotos at the time of my headshave. But i´ ll ask him to do that when my second headshave takes place. U pls send ur headshaved fotos on kspandana25 on gmail. by the way what is ur mail id
2011-02-21
#10
Name: Spandana Subject: Headshave for suspect
Hi Bubla,
Thanks for ur speedy reply. and coming to my experience at the time of my hedshave. I really felt very nervous when the barber came to my house. I cried and begged my husband to rethink. But he turned too hard by heart and snatched me by catching my loosed hair and made me sit before the barber and bent my head. I really felt embarrassed for the situation. I cried when the barber is sharping his razor but did not dare to say no once again. Then the barber wet all my hair and parted it into two and tied them each. My heart beat moved fast when the barber with one hand bent my head and with the other and he started a shave from the middle of my head. I could not stop crying and sat helpless. soon he completed shaving and my husband asked him to make the gundu more smooth so that it shines and the regrowth happens with delay. Barber did it.My neighbours from their verrandah stared the whole process and were enjoying the scene. After the process i ran inside the house and cried a lot. My husband enjoyed a lot for my appearance in bald gundu.
My next headshave will be on 23rd of this month again.
2011-02-18
#11
Name: jaya Subject: Spandana´ s headshave
Hi,
I am new to this site. I read your message, the various responses to your friends and must congratulate you for your rare courage and determination. You remained focussed on your goal of completing the engineering degree inspite of all odds.You will definitely come out with flying colours. I feel that gradually you will come to like the regular headshaves as summer months are approaching and you will get more time for your studies since you are now spared of caring for your hair.This also is the time to take care of your clean scalp with herbs such as neem paste, hibiscus etc to stimulate the hair roots so that when you will grow back your hair again after completion of degree you will become a Repunzel. Though for the time your husband appeared very strict but I' m sure he will love you a lot more as you have been so compliant and devoted.Please share the experience of your next headshave when it will be done. How long hair did you have before tonsure? Have you offered the tonsured hair to god ? What is the opinion of your parents regarding the whole issue ? Please give a reply . Bye for now.
2011-02-18
#12
Name: Spandana Subject: Headshave for suspect
Dear Jaya,
Thanks for ur encouragement. I had long hair touching my hips. Volume of my hair before tonsture was very thick.Unfortunately all my hair is cut off and everybody can see my smooth shaved pate.But I am happy from one side that I am able to continue my studies.And as told by u I am able to even more concentrate my studies.My parents did not enter into the issue and they believe that a daughter once married is not their responsibility.I never offerred my hair to god.May be the last headshave I need to do at the end of the fourth yr of my headshave I´ ll offer to god.My next gundu will be done on wednesday i.e 23.02.11 in the coming week. Feeling very embarressed.Ill share my 2nd tonsture experience after it is done.
Bye take care
2011-02-18
#13
Name: BUBLA Subject: I congratulale you for your bold decision.
Dear Spandana,
I have gone through your entire message & like to share my experience which is quite similar like you.I have shaved my long hair on middle of April,2009 during our visit to Tirupati & it was not well planned.At that time we went to Chennai for a holiday trip & as per our schedule we visited Tirupati at last.Reached at Tirupati,my hubby suddenly expressed his six years old desire that he wanted to see me bald.As Tirupati was the right place for headshave of a woman where nobody would ask any question.After a 24 hours battle both inside & outside,I agreed & tonsured my head at Tirupati.Here started my bald days,coming back from Tirupati my husband used to shave my head almost everyday for complete two months.As everybody including my family members,my frinds,neighbours appreciated my bald look,I have to continue my headshaving after two months.My hubby arranged one local barber who used to come every sunday & shave my head with a straight razor.It continued for another three to four months period & I always kept my bald pate open & exposed in home as well as outside.If you want to discuss more write me.
2011-02-18
#14
Name: Spandana Subject: Bubla´ s head tonsture
Hi Bubla,
Nice to see ur msg. Read ur complete msg.How did u feel when ur husband asked u to have gundu done. How did u feel when u were made to it before the barber.What were ur experiences during and after headshave. How did ur hubby feel for it. How were u able to face people with bald pate.
Dont get irrutated for my questions.Pls answer.
Bye
2011-02-11
#15
Name: rahul Subject: about headshave
Dear spandana K
my suggestion is you should happily accept the repeadted headshave to complete the studies,because hair will grow,
2011-02-10
#16
Name: Radha Subject: Go for regular head shave
Dear Spandana
A good husband is difficult to get. Husband and children are more lasting and fulfilling than an engineering degree. Though there is nothing wrong in having a continuous headshave for four years, it is a bit undone so far. And if you look good with head shave (I find most young women very beautiful with a headshave. I do not know about how a majority of men feel about it) the man will continue to trouble you. So that is not a solution at all.
I suggest that you go for a compromise solution as follows which you must convince your husband.
1. For the next four years you will shave once every year and keep the hair a short boy cut in the remaining period.
2. Warn that boy that you will complain to the police. Avoid him totally.
3. If this condition of your husband is a camouflage of your husband in getting you to be a gundu (nothing wrong in desiring his wife to be bald once in a while) once in a while, then promise him that you will shave once every few years after the degree ' but now will you please let me complete my studies with hair on?'
4. If he does not agree even for that, then there is not option but to remain bald continuously for four years. A really nice experience it will be. I have shaved three times in about 12 years so far and it is so joyous that often I have longed to shave regularly for a year.
5. The last option is quit studies, get pregnant fast and look after kids and home. And nothing wrong with that either. If you want a degree get a BA or BCom through distance education.
2011-02-15
#17
Name: Spandana Subject: Headshave for suspect
Hi Radha,
Today gathering all my courage I went to college without covering my gundu. My husband applied castor oil to my gundu in the morning before i leave to college.My gundu was really very smooth and shining. I felt very embarrassed while moving on road and also in bus. People around were enjoying my appearance.I gathered courage and entered my college.My friends and classmates were surprised to see me in clean shining gundu appearance. May be my husband´ s idea worked out. That classmate who was back of me all these days avoided me today for my ugly apperance. My friends adviced me to wear a scarf. But i denied on my husband´ s strict orders.
And coming to your question whether my MIL accepted for the shave - that she has no objection at all and accepted for it. Everyone at home started calling me gundu now. and i am getting used to the call and my appearance.
2011-02-14
#18
Name: Radha Subject: Hi gundu Spandana
Dear Spandana
Do not get agitated if I slightly make fun of you as ´ gundu Spandana´ . It is only in jest and full of love for girls and women who have opted (even those under pressure from others) for gundu.
I am very happy to know that you have been rendered a smooth gundu girl. But it was a mistake not to have gone to college. You were given the option of being a gundu or quit college and sit at home. But you submitted for gundu though under pressure but opted to sit at home for the day. Then you could as well have not got the gundu, isn´ t it.
So, cheer up girl, and go to college with a smile (even though you were not happy about it.) Otherwise your friends and teachers will see that you are not happy with it and immediately and correctly guess that you have done it under pressure. They will ask who pressured you. After repeated questioning you are likely to say my husband. Then they will start blaming your husband. Will you like it. So stop being sullen and sulking, put up a brave and happy face and face the college with a clean smooth gundu head. And better you start liking it - the process of getting shaved, the smooth feel and the bald look.
By the by, what did your mother in law say about you being bald for four years.
2011-02-14
#19
Name: Spandana Subject: Headshave for suspect
Hi Radha,
Yes u were right. Yesterday my headshave was done. And i am with clean gundu now.Sterday my hubby around 6.00 in the morning woke me up.We had a cup of coffee after our daily routine and he left immediately around 7.00 a.m to bring a barber to home. I was nervous when my husband returned back with barber. Then i immediately made my mind and told myself that this is unavoidable. Immediately when barber came he made arrangements and asked for a mug of water. when i went to give him a mug of water, my hubby asked me to loose my hair and sit in front of the barber immediately. Tears slowly started falling from my eyes. My husband not bothering that made me sit in front of the barber.Barber made my hair wet and massaged and thereafter parted them from middle and folded each of it.then he took the sharp knife and started shaving my head from the middle. I was not able to stop crying.I am able to hear the sound of my headshave. within 10 mins i was left with clean gundu. My husband asked the barber to shave the gundu again for smoothness. barber did it. I went inside crying. Barber left. But i could see that my hubby was able to enjoy my appearance with clean gundu and he started calling me gundu.He denied me from wearing scarf.
Today out of feeling of embarrasment I was not able to attend the college.
Dear Radha, may be u r right I should convience myself and be happy.because this process with last for about 4 yrs.
Thanks for ur suggestion.
Bye for now.
2011-02-13
#20
Name: Radha Subject: Bald-by-now
Dear Spandana
By the time you read this you would be sporting a smooth shiny gundu head if your message of 12-2-2011 is going to be implemented.
I am not at all mistaken. I know that till now you have not agreed for head shave happily. But what I wrote was that you should stop being unhappy and start being happy about your bald head. Otherwise unhappiness for 4 long years about something inconsequential like hair will spoil your other work and studies.
Best of Luck.
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nahiii
Name: khushali
sum1 would reply
Hi Spandana
surprised
Headshave for suspect
I congratulale you for your bold decision.
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