Coping with loss - Miscarriage and Child Loss Discussion Forum

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Miscarriage and Child Loss:Coping with loss

2005-10-11

Name: Pallavi I have been reading these boards since the time we were trying but never posted. We conceived fairly quickly but I miscarried. When I went for a u/s on Oct. 1 (I was 7.6 weeks then) the techs were indecisive and diagnosed a miscarriage. For a couple of days I was in denial, but since I started spotting, and then bleeding since last Thursday/Friday, things really hit home.

I am having a very hard time coping with the loss. I don't feel guilt because I know there is nothing I did to cause this, but besides immense sadness I feel very angry. And I am also very scared, I don't know how I will deal with another pregnancy. My husband says we will take it one step at a time and try not to invest too much emotionally in that, but that seems practically impossible to me.

How do others cope with the loss? I am at work but am finding it very hard to concentrate on anything, all I want to do is hide somewhere and cry.

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I have been reading these boards since the time we were trying but never posted. We conceived fairly quickly but I miscarried. When I went for a u/s on Oct. 1 (I was 7.6 weeks then) the techs were indecisive and diagnosed a miscarriage. For a couple of days I was in denial, but since I started spotting, and then bleeding since last Thursday/Friday, things really hit home.

I am having a very hard time coping with the loss. I don't feel guilt because I know there is nothing I did to cause this, but besides immense sadness I feel very angry. And I am also very scared, I don't know how I will deal with another pregnancy. My husband says we will take it one step at a time and try not to invest too much emotionally in that, but that seems practically impossible to me.

How do others cope with the loss? I am at work but am finding it very hard to concentrate on anything, all I want to do is hide somewhere and cry. Kris replied. I wish I had some words of comfort but I am finding the best way to deal with this is to now that it will never be OK...but I hope it will get better. My husband and I lost our twin boys at 24 weeks (I went into pre term labor and had to deliver by c-section on 10/17) nothing make you feel better, I have been mad, sad, not sure some days that I can even get through it...no one should have to bury their children. One thing you will face is thatr people don't know what to and inevitabley they say all the wrong thins....rely on your own support network (for me it is my husband....he is so strong!) Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or where to turn for help...only you can decide that! vk replied. I just wanted to let you know that there is hope. One miscarriage does not mean mean that your future pregnancies will end up the same. I miscarried in 2003. It was heart breaking. I got over it eventually. I am now the mother of a healthy one year old. So there is hope.... Adi replied. I went for my first checkup today and the vaginal ultasound indicates that the pregnancy is not normal. The doctors say that I will miscarry.
I am so devastated..I am hoping that the doctors are wrong and everything will be fine.
Waiting to start bleeding maybe....

Adi

2005-10-27

Name: Kris
Subject:

Loss

I wish I had some words of comfort but I am finding the best way to deal with this is to now that it will never be OK...but I hope it will get better. My husband and I lost our twin boys at 24 weeks (I went into pre term labor and had to deliver by c-section on 10/17) nothing make you feel better, I have been mad, sad, not sure some days that I can even get through it...no one should have to bury their children. One thing you will face is thatr people don't know what to and inevitabley they say all the wrong thins....rely on your own support network (for me it is my husband....he is so strong!) Don't let anyone tell you how to feel or where to turn for help...only you can decide that!

2005-10-12

Name: vk
Subject:

there is hope...

I just wanted to let you know that there is hope. One miscarriage does not mean mean that your future pregnancies will end up the same. I miscarried in 2003. It was heart breaking. I got over it eventually. I am now the mother of a healthy one year old. So there is hope....

2005-10-12

Name: pallavi
Subject:

Thanks vk

Thanks for your kind and supportive words vk. I hope this was the only time for me too. No one should go through a miscarriage.

2005-10-11

Name: Adi
Subject:

In the same boat

I went for my first checkup today and the vaginal ultasound indicates that the pregnancy is not normal. The doctors say that I will miscarry.
I am so devastated..I am hoping that the doctors are wrong and everything will be fine.
Waiting to start bleeding maybe....

Adi

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Last 7 Posts of this Board

Re: First pregnancy, first miscarriage

Hey, there dear! Please do not worry! I am so sorry to hear about hat you are going through. I am hoping that I can is of some help to you. But you are right on what you are saying. It is very important to stay positive. The amount of positivity that you are showing is good enough to get what you have been willing to get. I am sure that you will be able to get pregnant soo... - sanakhan [View Message]

RE:Coping With a Miscarriage

Infertility is a very hard thing to hit a woman. I can't imagine what it must be like. My sister went through it. She was told that she was infertile by her doctor. Her husband was a doctor too, but besides all the knowledge they could do nothing. Then they tried going for IVF. At first they were resistant, they were double minded. But then my sister went to various fertil... - Lillian [View Message]

RE:Coping With a Miscarriage

Hello there. How are you?. I hope you are doing fine. Your questions are very valid to ask. Miscarriage is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. It is feared by every woman. My sister went through 2 miscarriages a few years back. Her husband used to be out of town a lot so i accompanied her through her doctors appointments. After her second miscarriage, her doctor told her... - Olivia [View Message]

RE:Coping With a Miscarriage

Hey! I hope you are doing well. Miscarriages are a terrible thing that can happen to a family. It is like your dream of having a child and the next moment it is all gone. There are various reasons why miscarriages happen. But I do not think that miscarriages should affect the relationship. It is the responsibility of the husband to understand that no one is at fault. If th... - Irene Camron [View Message]

RE:How to Avoid Miscarriage

Hey there. I hope you are doing alright. I hope i can guide you through this in the bets way i can. IVF means In Vitro Fertilization. This is medical procedure whereby an egg is fertilized by sperm. In a test tube or elsewhere outside the body.IVF can treat infertility in a woman. If she has problems regarding ovulation disorders, blocked or damaged Fallopian tubes etcetra... - Lillian [View Message]

RE:RE:Coping With a Miscarriage

Hey! I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Infertility is truly very painful. I can understand how your friend would be feeling. You must stay by her side forever. It is not easy but she needs your support. She must be feeling terrible. I am also infertile. I remember when I first got to know about my infertility. I could not stop blaming myself. I only felt better when... - Irene Camron [View Message]

RE:Three miscarriages in a year...

Hey Richa, hope you are doing well. I am sorry to hear about it.I know what you have gone through. Toughest period is when one is TTC.The worst part is the miscarriages and 3 of them makes it even more hard to cope with. I agree with your husband and would advice you to take a break also. Try to regain your health.Rushing into things wont solve them. Consult a specialist a... - katherine [View Message]

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